Has Anyone Yet Determined What a Reverse Massage Is?

written by DL
names edited by Hilts

Benkowski’s prior prediction of a revitalized TC Pub trivia night was not looking very good last night. The bar was so empty that Benkowski was floating the idea of having a 2-person maximum per team. None of the regular Bar group was there at first, although Kearney Meats did call to say they were on the way.

While waiting for more arrivals, Benkowski fires this trivia question to J&B- name the first three baseball players to reach 500 homeruns?

J&B pays two separate entry fees, expecting to be split into factions. The second “J&B” entry was going to be named The Mindworms (after it quickly became apparent that using B&J would have been a bad idea). However, as Benkowski continues to solicit teams, he spends a large amount of time talking with Trophy, who had recently arrived. Benkowski comes back to our table and returns one of our entry fees, indicating that negotiations with The Bar have nixed the 2-person team idea.

J&B represented by: Chemical Man, Stix, Lazy Hilts, Saintly Gf and Nixon

Competition: Bar, LNC, Chi, and a second half entry of Jim

TC Pub represented by: Initially Glasses, who was heard calling Oak Lawn native Rob Mackowiak a "fag." When Glasses left, bar duties were taken over by Earth Mother.

First Half: NFL/Entertainment/In the News in July

Saudi Arabia is currently ahead of its record pace for beheadings in one year- what is the record for one year?
Who played the Wicked Witch of the West?
Who is the new head coach of the Dallas Cowboys?
Led NFC in quarterback rating in 2006 season?
How much did some German bankers pay to have a private show from the Rolling Stones?

The last question singled out due to the J&B guess of $4 million called “too low” by Benkowski. LNC then guesses $2 million. They had many similar math problems tonight.

The Bar’s Lawyer to Lazy Hilts: “I’m going to piledrive you tonight.”

An early J&B discussion has Juan Uribe shattering the record for grand slams this season. When Uribe later does bat with the bases loaded, J&B decides to put the White Sox season “all in” based upon whether or not he comes through with a granny. Had the game taken place in a telephone booth, the result would bode well for the team. Unfortunately, the game was in Fenway Park. The White Sox have been eliminated from contention.

Scores at the half: Bar 1700 J&B 1200 LNC 600 Chi 280 Jim- not yet playing

Second Half: Chicago Area/Animals/Sports

Led the ’83 White Sox in batting average with .307?
1980s era Cub nicknamed “Zonk”?
England has over 200 captive elephants- what other two countries have over 100 captive elephants?
Three 50+ homer seasons in the 1960s- name the three players?
The two Detroit Tigers currently in the top 6 in batting average for the season (games through Wednesday)?

Saintly Gf wins a “Ladies Only- Most Occupied Piercings” contest against LNC, as her opponent did not have enough of her many piercings occupied.

Scores into final question: Bar 2600 J&B 2040 LNC 1120 Chi 970 Jim 720

Menu of final question categories: States and Cities, Celebrity Birth Years or Groups of Animals.

J&B, Bar and LNC select States and Cities. The other teams select Celebrity Birth Years.

J&B wagers 201 to protect against LNC while assuming it needs the Bar to lose a decent sized wager in order to steal the victory.

Two of three wins the wager. Bonus for all three correct.

States and Cities- name both the largest city and the capital city for Tennessee, Virginia and Alaska (separate cities in each case).

Celebrity Birth- within two, years of birth of Joaquin Phoenix, Demi Moore and Peter Gabriel.

Gentlemen?

Part II

J&B guesses Nashville and Chattanooga (TN), Norfolk and Richmond (VA), and Anchorage and Juneau (AK). J&B isn’t overly confident in its choices.

Benkowski’s “informal question” answers:
Babe Ruth
Jimmie Foxx
Mel Ott

First half answers:
191 beheadings
Margaret Hamilton
Wade Phillips
Drew Brees
$8 million

Second half answers:
Tom Paciorek
Keith Moreland
USA and Germany
Mickey Mantle, Roger Maris and Willie Mays
Magglio Ordonez and Placido Polanco

Final question:

Jim- 720- Celebrity Birth- guesses Phoenix 1977 (no), Moore 1961 (close enough), and Gabriel 1941 (no)- only one correct- wagered it all- thanks for playing.

Chi- 970- Celebrity Birth- guesses Phoenix 1975 (close enough), Moore 1965 (no), and Gabriel 1954 (no)- only one correct- wagered 920- down to 50 points.

LNC- 1120- States/Cities- guesses Memphis and Nashville (yes), no guess for Virginia (no), and Anchorage and Juneau (yes)- two correct- wagered 500- up to 1620 points.

J&B- 2040- States/Cities- guesses Nashville and Chattanooga (no), Norfolk and Richmond (no), and Anchorage and Juneau (yes)- only one correct- wagered 201- down to 1839 points and needing incorrect guesses from the Bar.

Bar- 2600- States/Cities- guesses Memphis and Nashville (yes), Alexandria and Richmond (no), Anchorage and Juneau (yes)- two correct- wagered 1481- up to 4081 and an end to the J&B 3-game winning streak.

The correct answers:
Tennessee- Memphis (largest) and Nashville (capital)
Virginia- Virginia Beach (largest) and Richmond (capital)
Alaska- Anchorage (largest) and Juneau (capital)
Joaquin Phoenix 1974
Demi Moore 1962
Peter Gabriel 1950

J&B stays to watch the White Sox game to the end (4-2 victory), with the bullpen managing not to implode. I can only wonder if sometime during 2008 we will get a Benkowski trivia question about Ryan Bukvich that starts “this former White Sox reliever…”

Next trivia night is Thursday, August 2nd. I likely am “out.”