30 July, 2008
28 July, 2008
On the eve of a doubletooth extraction
Soon the ripping
shall come to my face
the tearing and the pulling
will be my grace
for the next day finally
will arive the time
when tooth shards finally
depat fr'all time
till then pills and oral gel
deadening the time
until the pliers finally
happen by
then work will quicken
needles injected inside
all sorts of tugging efforts
to produce the lovely holes in my mouths side.
For a few days or so
red saliva blood will flow
from those new lovely holes
as they slowly close
Penetrating Pulse pain then diminishes
and my spit returns transluccent from rose
pills and gels set aside
as the holes slowly close
regular life then commences again
shedded of this eternal ache
my teeth happy and healthy again
shall come to my face
the tearing and the pulling
will be my grace
for the next day finally
will arive the time
when tooth shards finally
depat fr'all time
till then pills and oral gel
deadening the time
until the pliers finally
happen by
then work will quicken
needles injected inside
all sorts of tugging efforts
to produce the lovely holes in my mouths side.
For a few days or so
red saliva blood will flow
from those new lovely holes
as they slowly close
Penetrating Pulse pain then diminishes
and my spit returns transluccent from rose
pills and gels set aside
as the holes slowly close
regular life then commences again
shedded of this eternal ache
my teeth happy and healthy again
The Battle of the Denmark Strait.1
The Battle of the Denmark Strait the preperations
In the area of my greatest concern, the nite went well. Outside of my most pressing concern -everything after The Battle of the Denmark Strait performed - also went well. But first, and mainly, to The Battle of the Denmark Strait.
I'd gotten enough oats into me several months ago when I thought it mite be a good idea to snatch 10m of stage time for the upcoming Klas.2 show. 10m would not be a killer for a concert, and I realised that people are punk enough to give me that 10m slot. So, an email to rocky eventually got me that spot. What to do, however.
Originally - and now I can finally spill the thought processes - I was gonna do a take of "Pets" by Porno for Pyros. My first though was to stick GF on stage w/ a American Idol drum I happened to find. She said no, after complaining 40-50x that I don't use her in my projects. Seriously- maybe one of the next 20 things I ask her to do she mite. Also a guitarist who would play the various solos in the song. Kool little minimal thing using Gf as well. Slap a name on it and call it Art. from this mustard seed eventually came The Battle of the Denmark Strait's four part secquence of skits/music.
However, several guitar players didn't come up. Chickened out, philosophically disinclined, etc, whatever - seemed no guitar. It was so early in the process and improvisation was easy. I figured, then, to just to it myself - drum myself, then just hit a button on my laptop to play the solo, etc.... basically, the idea of a one man show and prerecorded stuff had taken the fore. Music would butt it's way into the act eventually, but things had changed from the orig. idea of a single song.
So -what to do a show on? Not a show yet- scattered skits, so far. But a theme came in when I contacted Processed to cover an old General Strikes song from 5-6 years ago - the "Alleluia" song. Processed - like the General Strikes music guy- is a multi instrumentalist. I wanted an organ, but we mite not get an organ @ Klas. So, if we didn't do it on a churchy sounding organ, then we could do it this way: the verses would be accompanied by a shimmering guitar, then to the chaos - he'd have to switch to bass. Good visuals. A guitar as well.
And the song was accepted because that 'theme' had came up. I decided to have a little 'sporting event' involving the new 'theme', with the earlier idea of just playing baking tracks and have me act it all out coming up. Funny -when I have ideas, a lot of the time a person to use comes up, and I just gotta have that. For this skit, it was to be Chemical Man. he was to reprise the 'Brent Musberger' 'you are looking live...' character.
What eventually became the backing track was worked over for 4-5 days, w/ ideas going back and forth. We kept putting it off until we had to finalize it, and we did. Didn't go exactly right, but it didn't matter. Chemical Man came over to my crib 4-5 times in the week previous to klas as dint of hard marching finally delivered us a four and a half minute soundtrack we could deal with.
So, two of four parts to the show were in the bag, more or less. The first part was written, and the last part Processed and I had practiced a few days before. These done, the hardest stuff was over. A lot still needed to be done - the presentation looming most of all- but a great deal had been gotten done. Now the battle to actually link the two substantial parts of the act took place..
I had created a character a while back out of several characters from film/tv. Part the top judge on "Breaker Morant", the older English dude talking about his brother in "Four Weddings and a Funeral", and a lifetime of Monty Python characters (most importantly John Cleese's in one skit in particular), the character was to be an amagamalm of them all, w/ the 'Weddings' character having the dominant role. Lots of twitching and loud English tinged "Whaaaat???" 's. I likke the character and will reprise it again sometime.
However, with all the grand effort to nail the rest of the show, I got so tired and didn't want to write up fully a skit with this English character, so I decided to fall back on the prerecorded deal again - this time I had Mom yeling @ me to get off the stage and that I was embarrassing her. Since the skit was now to her and away from my character, I almost completely didn't write anything - instead it was radically redone to have frenz heckle me from the audience, and then Mom yell @ me, then a dragooned Dagwood came out of the audience and told me to.....well, impress everyone. This was decided on the fly, and preperations for this were being rushed around minutes before curtain. Sheesh. But, the third of four parts was substantially finished. The last part was easy. Sorta.
The costume change part. This is an idea that I'd stolen from the Smiths : In 1986, @ the Aragon, the entire light system of the concert hall was turned on the exact moment the sound system started to blare Pokrivs "Romeo and Juliet". This song haa a giant abrupt ending - and in 1986, the instant the song ended, all the lights in the Aragon were turned ON and the Smiths walked out onto the stage. Greatest band entrance ever. I nicked this for the act. I had to change into the priests outfit for the final church deal, so it was decided that I was to go behind - originally I was to go behind a box from a refrigerator - a sheet and change from doctor to priest while the bombastic "Romeo and Juliet" played loudly away.over the sound system. When the abrupt ending happened, I was to walk up in my priests collar and sing the "Alleliua".
And then the song. Four parts.
So, how was the execution?
I was pretty unprepared, i will tell you that. I spent hours of writing and stuff, but left off much until late. The full show wasn't even done until the actual presentation. So, unwalked through prepartion should have been done more. But, this was also the kinda show where we, didn't have to be....super prepared. It was more about being on stage and enjoying it, rather than hitting marks and all that.
In the area of my greatest concern, the nite went well. Outside of my most pressing concern -everything after The Battle of the Denmark Strait performed - also went well. But first, and mainly, to The Battle of the Denmark Strait.
I'd gotten enough oats into me several months ago when I thought it mite be a good idea to snatch 10m of stage time for the upcoming Klas.2 show. 10m would not be a killer for a concert, and I realised that people are punk enough to give me that 10m slot. So, an email to rocky eventually got me that spot. What to do, however.
Originally - and now I can finally spill the thought processes - I was gonna do a take of "Pets" by Porno for Pyros. My first though was to stick GF on stage w/ a American Idol drum I happened to find. She said no, after complaining 40-50x that I don't use her in my projects. Seriously- maybe one of the next 20 things I ask her to do she mite. Also a guitarist who would play the various solos in the song. Kool little minimal thing using Gf as well. Slap a name on it and call it Art. from this mustard seed eventually came The Battle of the Denmark Strait's four part secquence of skits/music.
However, several guitar players didn't come up. Chickened out, philosophically disinclined, etc, whatever - seemed no guitar. It was so early in the process and improvisation was easy. I figured, then, to just to it myself - drum myself, then just hit a button on my laptop to play the solo, etc.... basically, the idea of a one man show and prerecorded stuff had taken the fore. Music would butt it's way into the act eventually, but things had changed from the orig. idea of a single song.
So -what to do a show on? Not a show yet- scattered skits, so far. But a theme came in when I contacted Processed to cover an old General Strikes song from 5-6 years ago - the "Alleluia" song. Processed - like the General Strikes music guy- is a multi instrumentalist. I wanted an organ, but we mite not get an organ @ Klas. So, if we didn't do it on a churchy sounding organ, then we could do it this way: the verses would be accompanied by a shimmering guitar, then to the chaos - he'd have to switch to bass. Good visuals. A guitar as well.
And the song was accepted because that 'theme' had came up. I decided to have a little 'sporting event' involving the new 'theme', with the earlier idea of just playing baking tracks and have me act it all out coming up. Funny -when I have ideas, a lot of the time a person to use comes up, and I just gotta have that. For this skit, it was to be Chemical Man. he was to reprise the 'Brent Musberger' 'you are looking live...' character.
What eventually became the backing track was worked over for 4-5 days, w/ ideas going back and forth. We kept putting it off until we had to finalize it, and we did. Didn't go exactly right, but it didn't matter. Chemical Man came over to my crib 4-5 times in the week previous to klas as dint of hard marching finally delivered us a four and a half minute soundtrack we could deal with.
So, two of four parts to the show were in the bag, more or less. The first part was written, and the last part Processed and I had practiced a few days before. These done, the hardest stuff was over. A lot still needed to be done - the presentation looming most of all- but a great deal had been gotten done. Now the battle to actually link the two substantial parts of the act took place..
I had created a character a while back out of several characters from film/tv. Part the top judge on "Breaker Morant", the older English dude talking about his brother in "Four Weddings and a Funeral", and a lifetime of Monty Python characters (most importantly John Cleese's in one skit in particular), the character was to be an amagamalm of them all, w/ the 'Weddings' character having the dominant role. Lots of twitching and loud English tinged "Whaaaat???" 's. I likke the character and will reprise it again sometime.
However, with all the grand effort to nail the rest of the show, I got so tired and didn't want to write up fully a skit with this English character, so I decided to fall back on the prerecorded deal again - this time I had Mom yeling @ me to get off the stage and that I was embarrassing her. Since the skit was now to her and away from my character, I almost completely didn't write anything - instead it was radically redone to have frenz heckle me from the audience, and then Mom yell @ me, then a dragooned Dagwood came out of the audience and told me to.....well, impress everyone. This was decided on the fly, and preperations for this were being rushed around minutes before curtain. Sheesh. But, the third of four parts was substantially finished. The last part was easy. Sorta.
The costume change part. This is an idea that I'd stolen from the Smiths : In 1986, @ the Aragon, the entire light system of the concert hall was turned on the exact moment the sound system started to blare Pokrivs "Romeo and Juliet". This song haa a giant abrupt ending - and in 1986, the instant the song ended, all the lights in the Aragon were turned ON and the Smiths walked out onto the stage. Greatest band entrance ever. I nicked this for the act. I had to change into the priests outfit for the final church deal, so it was decided that I was to go behind - originally I was to go behind a box from a refrigerator - a sheet and change from doctor to priest while the bombastic "Romeo and Juliet" played loudly away.over the sound system. When the abrupt ending happened, I was to walk up in my priests collar and sing the "Alleliua".
And then the song. Four parts.
So, how was the execution?
I was pretty unprepared, i will tell you that. I spent hours of writing and stuff, but left off much until late. The full show wasn't even done until the actual presentation. So, unwalked through prepartion should have been done more. But, this was also the kinda show where we, didn't have to be....super prepared. It was more about being on stage and enjoying it, rather than hitting marks and all that.
The coming revolution
I was crossing from Dublin to Wales on 1 may, 1997 and the giant English news on the ferry was:"THE WORLD HAS CHANGED
HISTORY IS MADE TODAY"
when it became obvious Labour were smashing their way to winning the House of Commons for the first time since the 1970's. Now, good rdddence to Conservative of course, but I had to suppresse laughter that May Day when one ferry rider exclaimed that "This is History!!".. I laughed because I remember when Clinton first came to office.... remember that ?
So remember, in a year or two, that the Democratic Party has absolutely nothiing to offer America. It is a very BAD thing, and until it becomes righteous, I cannot allow myself to commint the Mortal Sin of ever supporting it. You should listen to me, Americans.
So, it's pretty obvious, but here's other vis of our great revolution that's coming....
add whatever you want, and it's still the Democratic party. Unworthy of operating in the greatest country ever.
27 July, 2008
26 July, 2008
three servents.
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And, yes, i do talk about it.There is that parable in the New T., where jesus talks of three servents of the master who left town for a bit. he gave them the cash while he was gone - 10 pieces to one, five to the next, and two to the last.
Lonf story short, when the master comes back, he is overjoyed that the one w/ 10 made 10 more - ditto doublings re: the one w/ five.
But the one w/ two pieces? did he invest it? No. he buried it and returned the two to his master upon the return.
And jesus went ballistic. Hands on the back for the ones who invested the money wisely - for who you can trust in small matters, you can tryust in large matters - but the one who buried the cash is OUTTA HERE!!
So, commonly accepted, Jesus tlls us that we all have gives -even though somes gifts may be more -but whatever gift you have been givem ya gotta rock that shit and not just.....well, leave it buried.
Gf and i were talking about whatever, and my Dad came up. She wa telling me I have done well, but i instantly compared mself to Dad through this parable. My Dad was "given two", and I feel he made millions back for the Lord. However, I - through the hard work of my Dad and Mom, specfiaclly the comparison is made- I was given 10 - but instead of giving back 20, I can't even give back the original 10. In fact, i feel that I'm still borrowing and borrowing and borrowing and that i probably owe 30 or 40 or millions.
God has given both my Dad and i gifts. My Dad, who recieved less than me (in terms of this parable) in growing up in such a shitty ghetto of a nation 100 years ago, not 2008, y'all), has made the most of it. But me, who was born in America and w/ such gifts all over - i feel i'm wasting it all.
Iwish I could be more like my dad. In the good ways. But fuck - slap my education on my Dad, and - truely- the world would have been different. I wish I had his power combined with..........
She just in from Dragon
For those of you all hepped up w/ J & B minutue (sic), this is the lovely Joli referenced by Dragon to the rest of us in the "+" comments section of this blog last JandB time out.
My guess is, the team is of the same mind regarding this young wonderfullness.
rebeccadonelow
It was somewhat vacant fo a friday nite, St. nick in attendece and all, but for a vacant place. it could sing.
lannies, in my ind, has a song, sinc the earliest times ive ever been there - dj otzi' 'hey baby. a favourite of irish everywhere, its a very trashy disco remake of a 60's hit. And to me, it just always reminds me of this place.
tonote, wanta a drink after seeing iron man w/ lovely of loviliests - back to mt greenwood, slap dash jenks away in th basement keep, then saunter to lannies.
No on there. vacant fo a friday nite, St. nick in attendece and all.
but for a vacant place. again. it could sing.
and we all have to go. or, w hav to order out last alcholals.
an the iterenerent dj, who knows galalee well, playsn that most irish or otzi songs, 'hey baby' - and they all burst out dansing.
there were 2o, total - this disciple, feeling the histoicacnesss of the moment, counted the crowd, in order to testify to the truth - and it was explosionof music, ad soun, andboys and girls, and allof a sudden, and therewere lare smiles, and women dansing, and thesong was the song of the bar, the song that i frist heard here and only here - so long ago, when it was some other woman -
one of them, i know now
how time goes, but that rush of love of life, when they all drunkenly start to dance - all 19 of them and me.
i dansed this nite in myown way.
lannies, in my ind, has a song, sinc the earliest times ive ever been there - dj otzi' 'hey baby. a favourite of irish everywhere, its a very trashy disco remake of a 60's hit. And to me, it just always reminds me of this place.
tonote, wanta a drink after seeing iron man w/ lovely of loviliests - back to mt greenwood, slap dash jenks away in th basement keep, then saunter to lannies.
No on there. vacant fo a friday nite, St. nick in attendece and all.
but for a vacant place. again. it could sing.
and we all have to go. or, w hav to order out last alcholals.
an the iterenerent dj, who knows galalee well, playsn that most irish or otzi songs, 'hey baby' - and they all burst out dansing.
there were 2o, total - this disciple, feeling the histoicacnesss of the moment, counted the crowd, in order to testify to the truth - and it was explosionof music, ad soun, andboys and girls, and allof a sudden, and therewere lare smiles, and women dansing, and thesong was the song of the bar, the song that i frist heard here and only here - so long ago, when it was some other woman -
one of them, i know now
how time goes, but that rush of love of life, when they all drunkenly start to dance - all 19 of them and me.
i dansed this nite in myown way.
25 July, 2008
On finally reading it...
Started it longtemps ago, but now I started from Page 1. Literaturalliy(sic) influenced by my first love Q, I'd always wanted to read Moby Dick. Tried before, remembering Q's old joking joke about before you can even start to read this turgid mess you have to get through a bunch of pages of quotes about whales, and quit. Had my copy always, bought in Omaha a decade ot two ago.Something about it being the closest to the great American novel, and the theme of searchingalways drew me. closer and closer, till...
Last week, finally, I made the plunge. I'm about 1/6 done. Ishmael is on the Pequod, but it's still in port. No site of Ahab yet, but I'm guessing soon.
It's good. I'm into it. Loving the nautical humour. In Ulysses, there is a part in the middle of the nite when Stephen and Bloom, looking for one more drink, ty a place where sailors hang out. That part of Ulysses has a lot of nautical stuff thrown about - but nothing like Moby Dick. The terms - i always knew that Skylarking meant making up stories, but again and again here.... The directions to a given place on land were given in nautical terms. And, of course, the sermon given early in the book based on the Old Testement book of Jonah - very applicable to a nautical themed book- in which the chapter is actually longer than the Book of Jonah. Awesomes.
Hulk Smash / Iron Man
Long time a California ago, visiting time became dinner time; Vito, his Other @ the time , and I decided that it was to be pasta made @ home for us. We all took parts, and soon it was hot noodles yumm. The next nite, since we had such a great time allcooking that pasta, we pondered fer a bit what to eat this nite - and it came out"lets do pasta again!!" Sure sure, pasta is cooked and cooked simply many nites in a row in places other than that Oakland site - but those two decisions 10y ago stayed w/ me since.
Gf and I visited La Grange to see "Hulk" on Thursday -and since we had such a good time, we went back the next nite to take in "Iron Man". Same dynamic - hey, last nite was fun, there is a clear opportunity to recreate that fun w/out being tiresome - so let's do it again.
We also discovered that one of the problems of visiting La Grange on a busy nite is solved - that there structure is a FREE parking garage*. No more circling and circling.
So, Hulk and Iron Man. I liked both a great deal, Hulk being ahead on points. I was always into the Marvel Comics deal - The Spiderman being the Man, as far I was concerned** - but have a great deal of affection for the others - Rom, Captain America, the New Mutants (Rhane Sinclair !!), Fantastic Four, X Men-- and, yes, Hulk and Iron Man. I read both the contemporary stuff growing up- the 1970/80's - but also the stuff from the 1960's in reprints. So, a lot of the history was there - it was always great to see attention to the little details - Hulk getting purple pants, fEx, and Iron Man putting the red into his suit. And many more - Shield, anyone?
Gf liked Iron better than Hulk -me vise-versa (sic). She'd wanted to see Iron on the Thursday nite - she likes Robert Downey Jr a lot (I was late) - so she was predisposed to enjoy it better - but I was neutral on both going in. Both had lotsa action and good stories. Well, the action was cool as hell, and the plot allowed for the action.
Recommends.
..............................................................................................
*= a garage in which one pays would never be any sort of a solution in Hilts world.
**=give me "The Amazing Spiderman" # 147-149 or give me ....
23 July, 2008
21 July, 2008
Pitchfork 2008 / All Hail the King of the William Randolphs
FRIDAY
Collected the girl and drove up various streets and expressways until we got to Union Park, slite bit west of the Loop, and found a nice space under the Lake Street El - two blocks from the park. Very afraid of all the storms and drang, we brought along our rain gear. However, except for -no, no excepts - there was no rain. So much worry that we'd be wet all wkd.
We got in during the beginning of Mission of Burma's act. Wasn't that interested, but politely listened. We got connected w/ the crew pretty soon - there was hero of the wkd William Randolph Heurst w/ his new female. There was Treats, Guitars, Gunnars, Jenke, Chartmen, and Dragon. There also was Chicken Balls, who was w/ us the wkd for maybe 10m during P.E. The 16th Couple. Finally,we also got Balz.
Watched Sebadoh. Again, good, but looking about, idle chatter w/ the boys and girls, watching, etc etc etc. more held my interest. The old Q joke that Lou Barlow looked like Blackie came up -as it did when Lou reappeared w/ Dinosaur on Sunday came up.
P.E. was great. Live rap is always a trick. Many terrible performances have I seen. But this was deeply enjoyable - some parts more than others. So, y may have read my plea to consider "Fear of a Black Planet" the better LP than "Nation of Millions" -they performed that LP and it only sometimes rocked. Good throughout, but not spectacular -except for my two faves on the LP : "Caught can I get a witness?" and "Night of the Living Baseheads". the latter was one of my most enjoyable moments of the show -and @ my age and cynism, all I expect from concerts these days is maybe a moment - 5-10 seconds please - but we got a whole song and more this nite.
After "Nation" was done, P.E. played a bunch of encores - and this was the best part of the show. Best moment -maybe of the whole wkd -was their first encore, "Welcome to the Terrodome". Wow what a great song - and they have kicked it especial other times I have seen them live - but what got me was this tiny little subtle almost hidden bass - three notes that kpt repeating, punching its way to the front of the mix to the beat - wondrous little bum -bUm-bum . Also, live drums and guitar really make the difference than rapping to a backing track. "Fight the Power", "Shut'm down", "911 is a joke" were all fantastic.
SATURDAY
After "Nation" was done, P.E. played a bunch of encores - and this was the best part of the show. Best moment -maybe of the whole wkd -was their first encore, "Welcome to the Terrodome". Wow what a great song - and they have kicked it especial other times I have seen them live - but what got me was this tiny little subtle almost hidden bass - three notes that kpt repeating, punching its way to the front of the mix to the beat - wondrous little bum -bUm-bum . Also, live drums and guitar really make the difference than rapping to a backing track. "Fight the Power", "Shut'm down", "911 is a joke" were all fantastic.Great start. Like last year, it seems that Friday nite Pitchform is guys nite - @ least for my crew. As Dragon said, however, Pitchfork is very little about 'guys' - most concerts it's the proverbial(sic) 'Sausage PArty' - never so Pitchfork. I won't go on about it, but sheesh........ The crowd as a whole is always fantastic. There 's always a great vibe, friendly people, smiles and helping hands, etc... Surely when they talk of the festivals that Jesus went to in Jeresulam (esp in gospel of john- sorry-) back in the day they must have all been like this.
SATURDAY
No Gf for this day, instead it was Niece.1 to the fore. She'd wanted to see Spoon on the Sunday, but took the ticket for this day when it was available. She's pretty open minded and thought it was cool to go see such an event. And, yes, when I told her about Chuck D. and Flavour Flav the nite before, she exclaimed :
"Flavor Flav was in a rap band??"
So, we got there after we wanted -well, I wanted -and missed whatever band Big John told me I'd like (Titus Androticus). I have learned to listen to the SXSW crew on music because even though these guys are,well, not university punks anymore- they still have a real good grasp on the bands that were paying there. Treats, Gunnars, Chartman, Joker, Guitars - I bet they have actually seen 70% of the acts already live. Since I have not listen to most of the groups before, I lean on them a lot.
But there we did, and it was Caribou that was playing -and they were fucking great. GREAT!! For us all is that new excitement on finding something new that kicks, and it washed on me well standing there sweating off to the side. Didn't get to hear all of the set -we were late - but loved what i did. Need to hear these guys more.
Met up w/ the crew @ The Fall Back Position under the tree's. Since we know maybe 20 people going and many babies, the more responsible people in the crew showed up early and claimed the same spot - more or less - that we had last year. So nice - always frenz sitting, kids bopping about, dump yr gear and check out that band and then meet back here for whatever. So nice to have that shaded area under the tree's. I think it was Joker and Ocean that established the area this day.
Who went? Yesterdays crew (no running into Balz or Chicken Balls) were repped, w/ Neice.1 replacing Gf. More women - ladies Ocean and (shoot -what the hell is her nickname? Ms. Treats, fer now) Ms. Treats. still more to come later.
Watched a bit of lots of groups. Fleet Foxes, Fuck Buttons, Ruby Suns, Vampire Weekend, and the Elf Power. All were pretty good, but none super special. The band I wanted to see best - never before, I admit - were !!!. Again, pretty good. Nowhere near Caribou -new faves, and Big John can y cut me a disc?- but both they and the audience were loving it.
I would spend most of my Sundayfork hanging in basecamp. Standing too long just made me sickish. Not too bad, but enough to wan to rest after a few minutes. Again, the glories that got to the park first and set up basecamp should again be glorified - camp was more or less equdistant from both main stages and were a great place to chill but still enjoy the show. I did.
But I did get up. Had to eat, and went to Robinsons to get more ribb sandwiche. It took forever tostand in line (10m), and then Gf's burger was not finished, so we had to stand near the hot grill - for TEN MINUTES - to await that.
Base Camp to eat half a what i got, drink water and coke, and try to shit it out. Only the lattter was I not able to accomplish.
Treats for the day. Wanted to see "Apples in Stereo", and they were good. Didn't get into Les Savy Fav that much, and missed Ghostface Killah and Raekwon except for wind blown bits that came over to us. I was saving myself.
Spiritualised, one of my toppermost favourite live acts ever, was a group I got up to see. I lasted the 15m and had to go back. Ive heard em better before - I have heard God speaking to me through them, live, before - but this was not one of those times. Sure, :Shine a Light" sounded great, but it's been better. Cometo-gether was a better fit for the fest. But Jason looked and sounde great.
And Dinosaur. Basically the last act for all of us. GThey palyed an hour, and I had the runniing joke inbetween each song "Ok, 'Freakscence' on three. Ready? ONE TWO THREE". I thought I was clever, as did vampire.
Did they play "freakscene"
Y.
Was it ther best song?
N.
That was the Green Mind Lp's track.... whats its name? When it came out way back when, I was going out w/ a pretty and we hadn't yet. I remember way back then that line - I call it "Baby why don't we?", or, rather, "Baybeee why-ount-weeeeeeeee? Baybeee why-ount-weeeeeeeeeeeeeee? why-ount-weeeeeeeeeeeeeee?" , although I fully realise that the lyric mite actually be "Baby wowee!". Nah -that would be criminal. That would be like calling for Barabas. But I danced along w/ that song, out in the open, shameless in my enjoyment, freed enough from the gastronomics...... and it was my favourite musical moment of the show. Beat PE's bass.
Just. Didn't. Want. It. To. End. Ring a doorbell in yr mind. Wowee!! You don't live there anyway. You won't see me...........................
Joker, eyes closed on the matt, enjoying. Dinosaur boys getting closer to the band for a better expericnce. Vampire and I jumping up, when, finally, they played "Freakscene".
And so, the wkd ended. Always sad when the little community comes to-gether, spends a wkd to-gether, and enjoys. We hung and talked after Dinosaur, but we started to clean up while half listened to Spoon
Who went? Yesterdays crew (no running into Balz or Chicken Balls) were repped, w/ Neice.1 replacing Gf. More women - ladies Ocean and (shoot -what the hell is her nickname? Ms. Treats, fer now) Ms. Treats. still more to come later.
Watched a bit of lots of groups. Fleet Foxes, Fuck Buttons, Ruby Suns, Vampire Weekend, and the Elf Power. All were pretty good, but none super special. The band I wanted to see best - never before, I admit - were !!!. Again, pretty good. Nowhere near Caribou -new faves, and Big John can y cut me a disc?- but both they and the audience were loving it.
But the second act of the day was another rapper, Dizzie Rascal. Niece.1 had never seen a live rap act and wanted to experience it, so we walked over. Vey dansable beats, and the rapping was great, Like any good rap show, there were lots of call and responses or repeated chants. sound was good, and the audience loved it. Oi Oi Oi and lots of great stuff. And, no backing group - here was a case when the group could pull it off. Great audience.
Niece.1 and I had to leave early to catch the Fire home game. No Jarvis Cocker.
Sunday
This day was characterized for me w/ constipation. A tad dose, not the Aztec Sacrifce system when a priest reaches into my intestines and grips the fuck out of them evilly causeing me such pain - but it was a mild grip. I will tell you that my enjoyment for the day faltered @ this constant source of discomfort. If I may talk about defication for a bit (and all I'm writing inside these parantehesis is he he he he he....), all I needed was one grand ruch and push and the rest of the concert would have been mine. So, I kept going into the blue plastic porta shitters, spread paper on the seat, and trid my best to sweat it out. Horrible. Hours of trying, and finally a little relief. enough to keep me in the game. Wasn't settled until the next day. I blame it on the heat and Matt Jenke the day before.
Base camp immediaetly. Additions. Gf. Balz came back to us. And Vampire, Sunshine, and Vamp's siblings and their sig others showed up. No Ocean or Ms. Treats. finally the advent of Snowden and his new Sally. Not sure why they missed the first two days - maybe it's the (although they are not a new couple, I do not think they have spent that mush extended time to-gether) 'new couple deal' - for what, they had something better to do than this?? Just kiddin'. Dragon had spottd him, and later Lazers and outoftowner showed up. The crew the same otherwise.
I would spend most of my Sundayfork hanging in basecamp. Standing too long just made me sickish. Not too bad, but enough to wan to rest after a few minutes. Again, the glories that got to the park first and set up basecamp should again be glorified - camp was more or less equdistant from both main stages and were a great place to chill but still enjoy the show. I did.
But I did get up. Had to eat, and went to Robinsons to get more ribb sandwiche. It took forever tostand in line (10m), and then Gf's burger was not finished, so we had to stand near the hot grill - for TEN MINUTES - to await that.
Base Camp to eat half a what i got, drink water and coke, and try to shit it out. Only the lattter was I not able to accomplish.
Treats for the day. Wanted to see "Apples in Stereo", and they were good. Didn't get into Les Savy Fav that much, and missed Ghostface Killah and Raekwon except for wind blown bits that came over to us. I was saving myself.
Spiritualised, one of my toppermost favourite live acts ever, was a group I got up to see. I lasted the 15m and had to go back. Ive heard em better before - I have heard God speaking to me through them, live, before - but this was not one of those times. Sure, :Shine a Light" sounded great, but it's been better. Cometo-gether was a better fit for the fest. But Jason looked and sounde great.
And Dinosaur. Basically the last act for all of us. GThey palyed an hour, and I had the runniing joke inbetween each song "Ok, 'Freakscence' on three. Ready? ONE TWO THREE". I thought I was clever, as did vampire.
Did they play "freakscene"
Y.
Was it ther best song?
N.
That was the Green Mind Lp's track.... whats its name? When it came out way back when, I was going out w/ a pretty and we hadn't yet. I remember way back then that line - I call it "Baby why don't we?", or, rather, "Baybeee why-ount-weeeeeeeee? Baybeee why-ount-weeeeeeeeeeeeeee? why-ount-weeeeeeeeeeeeeee?" , although I fully realise that the lyric mite actually be "Baby wowee!". Nah -that would be criminal. That would be like calling for Barabas. But I danced along w/ that song, out in the open, shameless in my enjoyment, freed enough from the gastronomics...... and it was my favourite musical moment of the show. Beat PE's bass.
Just. Didn't. Want. It. To. End. Ring a doorbell in yr mind. Wowee!! You don't live there anyway. You won't see me...........................Joker, eyes closed on the matt, enjoying. Dinosaur boys getting closer to the band for a better expericnce. Vampire and I jumping up, when, finally, they played "Freakscene".
And so, the wkd ended. Always sad when the little community comes to-gether, spends a wkd to-gether, and enjoys. We hung and talked after Dinosaur, but we started to clean up while half listened to Spoon
So, each day I got something musically I loved. PE Caribou and dizzie. And spiritualised and Dinosaur. each day great. Now, the wait for 2009. Bless you wiliam randolph.
20 July, 2008
delisuions
I can be terrible. there is a coworker @ school is really big. Really big women. In my world, in which I do no exercise (except starvation, i guess) so i have no real reason to judge, I always thought that she should exercise or walk or whatever to get off the weight.Disabusement, in a horrible fashion.
I found out that she had cancer, and the weight ballooning has to do with that. Sheesh, what a fuck I felt I was.
But I write this more on my ?deteriorating? mind quality.
This, I swear to God, is my instaneous impulse when I found out that it was cancer:
"I have to touch her affliction, and she will be healed."
I swear to God -or, well, I guess, myself - that that was my initial impulse. So, I've gone from writing about Jesus to thinking I am him. Not Good.
But next month when I see her? Fucks fer sure I'ma gonna instantly touch her arm. And if that doesn't work, she will know me by my other, more human means. Meaning I will be twice as nice to her. She's a good woman. And I wish I was......... well, a better person.........and not just in my delusions.
Pitchfork
presently into the pitchfork wkd. Will update fully on Monday, w/ some lame "hilts' type snaps (out of focus, blurry - well, not Blurry, but blurry - etc etc etc)
It's been good. Shirtless the whole wkd, no rain, and I put this to-gether to ROCK
It's been good. Shirtless the whole wkd, no rain, and I put this to-gether to ROCK
18 July, 2008
Burleigh
Over Xmas break, I read the first 220p of Burleigh's Third Reich A New History , then stopped. It wasn't a superdense book @ all, but when school started I put it down.Rite when summer hit, I started it up again. I'm up to p570, and am looking forward to finishing it next week. It's like a novel rite now and hard to put down. I'm going to a storm threatened Pitchfork fest his weekend, and do not wanna bring a book that will be turned to pulp w/ the waterdown.
who needs a band when the beat just flows
Lovely to have lovely frenz who have lovely frenz, a bunch of us got tix to all 3 days of Pitchfork this stormthreatened wkd. Again, all to-morrows parties are clicked in as well, so we are getting not "Daydream Nation" this summer, but "It takes a Nation of Millions..." by Public Enemy.And just like "Daydream Nation" is not the Sonics best LP -neither is "A Nation..." P.E.'s best.
But unlike last summer, I felt an almost anger @ the stupidity of Man in not recognizing "Sister" as the real Werke of Sonica. Truely I tell you that it felt like I was the only one calling for Jesus, and the rest of the mob kept chanting "WE WANT BARABBAS!!".
However - Although "Fear of a Black PLanet" is my most favourite of all P.E. LP's - "Nation" is a justified choice for Pitchfork - it came first, it featured all of the breakthrough sound crazies, and it's as fuckin' great as hell.
Don't get me wrong - "Fear" is a lot better - but it was not the the stunning eye opener that "Millions" was. Rather, it took the same concept of the earlier LP, improved it, and.......the kicker for me...... made it so much more dansable.
And what a LP.
PE came to me @ Lunt Street. Crankface* was jamming the initial track "Yr gonna get yrs" off their first LP for Blackie (notice - I was in the same room, but he was playing it for the Blackie. This I jut note - those days, late 1988 and early 1989, I could be very transparent if I felt it). What I remember is that Crank siad something about them in Gary, or wishing to se them I gary, etc etc etc, but Blackie misinterpreted and exclaimed "We should Go!!" before the disabusement.
The twin rockets of PE and NWA really took me into the world of rap. Yes, sure , i loved "You talk to much" by Run DMC and "Rapper delight" -who didn't? But still I was mainly a rock guy. When those two groups hit my scenes, we all appreciated it.
ANd some more than others. I went from wearing black on the outside because black is how I felt it would be kool on the inside to wearing ALL BLACK - the Sox jacket, the Sox hat, the BLACK Levi's, the black Nike;s, even the black Nike socks. And what, it didn't fit? I'm not a Sox fan? I don't wear Nikes? Black?
Memories. Driving around w/ Joker, blasting the LP's again and again and again. Making our own raps. Totally way way way out -surface of Mars out -@ Aagon Ballroom , so far into outer space (although it mita been the Agagons acoustics) I couldn't concentrate on....anything. Youth.
It was a fun time, and I still get the getup on every once in awhile. But it was the music that had me playing dress up. Although NWA was incredible, to this day my favourite is PE. ANd those 2 LP's are still their best and of the uppermost best LP's in my mind ever.
First off, they do sound very much alike. PE had a unique sound fashioned by The Bomb Squad. Back in the day when you could steal snippets of other music easier (in legal terms), The Bomb Squad threw all these different sounds - some music, some dialouge, some sirens, some....... shit, every sound y can hear there. "Nation" introduces us to this world, bit it's carried so further by "Fear".
But for me, what separates the twoLP's, is better songs on the "Fear" - or maybe , it's just that they are better to me ears. I always look for songs that shake girls asses, and "Fear" has one after another. Oh, yes, one mans danse song is anther mans snoozer, but look @ the trax on "Fear" : "Welcome to the Terrorome" and "Fight the Power" (one or the other played @ Big John's and Kats wedding in 2005 and dansed by me), "Can't do nutting for you man", famous in the "House Party" movie as one of the danse songs @ a house party - and, finally, @ a house party when a former 1207 resident (Now a resident of the M.D. style) had a party over west near Montrose and Francisco say 1993. Noticed no one was playing music, stepped in, and played "Power to the People". Party thrower liked it.
And then there is "Who stole the soul?", "Reggie Jax", and a personal fave -what a beat but it goes nowhere- is "Leave this off of your f*ckin charts". Danse song after danse song. Throw it on a party then sit in a corner and watch. easily, their best and most realised LP -according to me.
But, unlike last year, when I was supermilitant "Sister" head - I can agree that "Nation of Millions" shold be the LP focused on. AS I said, it was the precourser. What would be found on the later LP was all there in "Nation" - just not as well done the next year in "Fear". There are tonnes of great songs on "Nation" -just not nearly as many on "Fear". I can't wait to hear "Night of the Living baseheads" -my favourite PE song - as well as "Caught, can I get a witness?".
However, instead of just waiting for a few of my favourite songs, it's been kooler - for me - if they could have done the later LP. Then - for me - I would have to wait for the songs I really wanted to hear - every song on that LP is a song I want to hear.
And, of course, I probably won't danse. But that's more for "Fear of a crowd looking @ you" than "It takes a less dansable LP to keep me sitting"Should rock nonetheless. Will be there. Will be wearing my Sox hat.
...........................................
* I have heard Crankface doesn't appreciate this oldest of nicknames. Slut.
* I have heard Crankface doesn't appreciate this oldest of nicknames. Slut.
Jackals
WRITTEN BY LAZERSnames edited by Hilts
Some of the team names were the same, but the rosters for last night’s trivia battle at TC Pub sure weren’t. Not including J&B and TC Pub staff, I don’t know that I recognized a single person there. Pat indicated one of the Bar players was a regular, but he was maybe 5th or 6th on the depth chart. And hey, even J&B added some new faces.
The competition: Bar, Comfortably Dumb, Fritz & Megan
Don’t let that “Fritz & Megan” moniker fool you- that wasn’t a team of two people. That was a team of a good 20 people. I still can’t believe Benkowski didn’t make them split into multiple teams.
J&B represented by: Chemical Man, Hilts, Joe Jokes, Mo, Playboygirl, Leah, and Lazers
TC Pub represented by: Special Little Girl, working the late shift
Only one correct answer allowed per team, and Hangman is back in the mix tonight.
First Half: Sports/News/Movies
This model’s American movie debut was in the 1983 James Bond flick “Never Say Never Again”?
Only Sox player to win Gold Glove in 1990?
Year of Birth: Sandra Bullock?
Movie during which Ringo Starr met Barbara Bach, the woman he would later marry?
The four Cub representatives in the 1989 All-Star game?
J&B, chock-full of women tonight, faces its first “Ladies Only” challenge- Longest Hair, Biggest Hand, or Biggest Foot. Longest Hair would have been gimme points if Leah did not get her hair cut that very day. J&B decides to battle in the realm of Biggest Foot, with Mo pitted against one of the Fritz & Megan team. Benkowski initially tries to measure while the ladies wore their shoes, but as I’ve since been told, women’s fashion prevents that from being a fair measure. So Mo found herself placing her bare foot on the sticky tiles of the TC Pub floor, only to find that her opponent was packing feet that would make Sasquatch jealous. Playboygirl: “Those are the longest toes I’ve ever seen!” Fritz & Megan win the points.
Scores at the half: J&B 1250 Fritz 1110 Dumb 980 Bar 670
Second Half: Animals/Sports & Entertainment/Chicago & World
None of us caught the answer to this one- if anybody knows, please pass it along: the heaviest land animal is the elephant. Which animal ranks second?
After dogs and cats, the third most popular pet in America (2007)?
May 1993- this Cub had 6 hits in one game?
June 1987- this Cub scored 5 runs in one game?
Won an Oscar for her role in “Girl Interrupted”?
For this last question, a team ahead of J&B used their Hangman. After an incorrect guess, J&B gets a chance to pounce on the Hangman. Even though J&B knows the answer, Pat tossed out letter guesses as follows: “N as in Nitwit…J as in Jackal…” I think there was an “O” guess, but I didn’t catch what it was “as in”.
“Roll the Ball” challenge pits Comfortably Dumb against Benkowski. Benkowski wins the roll. Hilts: “It’s Pat Fixkowski.” Benkowski: “I’m not in the game. My name is not on the board.”
J&B loses another “Ladies Only” challenge to Fritz & Megan, this time with Playboygirl rolling the ball.
After two halves: J&B 2240 Fritz 2060 Dumb 1890 Bar 1350
Choice of Final Category: Baseball All-Star Facts, Jokes Ridiculing Men, or Baseball Players with more than 3300 Hits
J&B selects the “3300 Hits” category and wagers the classic (1881). Bar tries to select “Animals” again.
Two of three wins wager. All three wins 3000 bonus.
3300 Hits:
This player had all 4191 of his career hits prior to 1930?
This player played in the 60s, 70s and 80s- all for one team- had 3419 career hits, and Benkowski had a poster of this player on his bedroom wall?
This player had 3319 career hits but was overshadowed by his MVP winning teammate- he moved around other teams late in his career- was born in 1956?
Jokes:
Why did God create man? (Clue: 6 words: Because ___ ___ ___ the lawn)
What do you call a man with half a brain? (Clue: 1 word)
What did God say after creating man? (Clue: 4 words)
And while we still wait for a team to select the All-Star category, players at home can complete their answers….
The competition: Bar, Comfortably Dumb, Fritz & Megan
Don’t let that “Fritz & Megan” moniker fool you- that wasn’t a team of two people. That was a team of a good 20 people. I still can’t believe Benkowski didn’t make them split into multiple teams.
J&B represented by: Chemical Man, Hilts, Joe Jokes, Mo, Playboygirl, Leah, and Lazers
TC Pub represented by: Special Little Girl, working the late shift
Only one correct answer allowed per team, and Hangman is back in the mix tonight.
First Half: Sports/News/Movies
This model’s American movie debut was in the 1983 James Bond flick “Never Say Never Again”?
Only Sox player to win Gold Glove in 1990?
Year of Birth: Sandra Bullock?
Movie during which Ringo Starr met Barbara Bach, the woman he would later marry?
The four Cub representatives in the 1989 All-Star game?
J&B, chock-full of women tonight, faces its first “Ladies Only” challenge- Longest Hair, Biggest Hand, or Biggest Foot. Longest Hair would have been gimme points if Leah did not get her hair cut that very day. J&B decides to battle in the realm of Biggest Foot, with Mo pitted against one of the Fritz & Megan team. Benkowski initially tries to measure while the ladies wore their shoes, but as I’ve since been told, women’s fashion prevents that from being a fair measure. So Mo found herself placing her bare foot on the sticky tiles of the TC Pub floor, only to find that her opponent was packing feet that would make Sasquatch jealous. Playboygirl: “Those are the longest toes I’ve ever seen!” Fritz & Megan win the points.
Scores at the half: J&B 1250 Fritz 1110 Dumb 980 Bar 670
Second Half: Animals/Sports & Entertainment/Chicago & World
None of us caught the answer to this one- if anybody knows, please pass it along: the heaviest land animal is the elephant. Which animal ranks second?
After dogs and cats, the third most popular pet in America (2007)?
May 1993- this Cub had 6 hits in one game?
June 1987- this Cub scored 5 runs in one game?
Won an Oscar for her role in “Girl Interrupted”?
For this last question, a team ahead of J&B used their Hangman. After an incorrect guess, J&B gets a chance to pounce on the Hangman. Even though J&B knows the answer, Pat tossed out letter guesses as follows: “N as in Nitwit…J as in Jackal…” I think there was an “O” guess, but I didn’t catch what it was “as in”.
“Roll the Ball” challenge pits Comfortably Dumb against Benkowski. Benkowski wins the roll. Hilts: “It’s Pat Fixkowski.” Benkowski: “I’m not in the game. My name is not on the board.”
J&B loses another “Ladies Only” challenge to Fritz & Megan, this time with Playboygirl rolling the ball.
After two halves: J&B 2240 Fritz 2060 Dumb 1890 Bar 1350Choice of Final Category: Baseball All-Star Facts, Jokes Ridiculing Men, or Baseball Players with more than 3300 Hits
J&B selects the “3300 Hits” category and wagers the classic (1881). Bar tries to select “Animals” again.
Two of three wins wager. All three wins 3000 bonus.
3300 Hits:
This player had all 4191 of his career hits prior to 1930?
This player played in the 60s, 70s and 80s- all for one team- had 3419 career hits, and Benkowski had a poster of this player on his bedroom wall?
This player had 3319 career hits but was overshadowed by his MVP winning teammate- he moved around other teams late in his career- was born in 1956?
Jokes:
Why did God create man? (Clue: 6 words: Because ___ ___ ___ the lawn)
What do you call a man with half a brain? (Clue: 1 word)
What did God say after creating man? (Clue: 4 words)
And while we still wait for a team to select the All-Star category, players at home can complete their answers….
Part II
J&B guesses Ty Cobb, Carl Yastrzemski and Paul Molitor.
First Half answers:
Kim Basinger
Ozzie Guillen
1964
Caveman
Ryne Sandberg, Rick Sutcliffe, Andre Dawson, Mitch Williams
Second Half answers:
Birds
Sammy Sosa
Andre Dawson
Angelina Jolie
Final Question:
Bar- 1350- Hits- guesses Ty Cobb (correct), Carl Yastrzemski (correct), and Andre Dawson (no)- wagered it all- up to 2700 points and the lead.
Comfortably Dumb- 1890- Jokes- guesses “he’s got to mow” the lawn (no), gifted (good enough), and “I ruined another one” (no)- wagered 1790- down to 100.
Fritz & Megan- 2060- Jokes- guesses “vibrator can’t mow” the lawn (correct), complete (good enough), and “shit, I screwed up” (no- Benkowski: That’s a little rough.”)- wagered 2060- up to 4120 and the new leader.
J&B- 2240- Hits- guesses Ty Cobb (correct), Carl Yastrzemski (correct), and Paul Molitor (correct)- wagered 1881 plus bonus- up to 6121 and the victory!
Missing punchline: “I can do better.”
Next trivia: Thursday, July 31st. I expect to be “in”. Leading up to that battle, I would like to propose discussion to pick the All Time “Miss J&B”. Between players, waitresses, and Benkowski assistants, there’s a deep pool of candidates from which to choose. Nominations currently are open, and balloting will begin soon.
17 July, 2008
sonne boye
Saw "Under the Sun of Satan", starring my fave Sandrinne Bonnaire and Gerard Derpardue. Not too bad. Sandrinne looked scraggly. My favourite role of hers,in "M. Hire", was maybe a year after this film. She looks so diff in each. Pretty in "M. Hire", ragged in "sun".The film was mainly about Gerard d. as a priest who maybe incometent. Also - is he a touched by God Holy man ? Possibly. All the villagers think so. His teacher thinks so. Maybe even he does as well.
Laughingly, as I watched, I mocked myself for that self image of myself that creeps up in my mind from time to time.... well, at least I can smile about it now/@ .....
Not a bad film, but maybe not in everyones taste.
Nite action off Guadacanal
Went to the dentist, on Monday, that is, and recieved a severe bill of damages:
three teeth ave to be pulled
two teeth to be recapped (most exensive!!!)
four cavaties to be dealt with
Deeply deplorable this terrible inaction re: my teeth.
And it was to a new dentist. My old dentist was a good guy, but since his main business was dentures I was sure that the amount of teath being taken out of my face was related to him wanting to fit me out w/ dentures in the future. Plus, two fucking caps he ut in broke eventually. I'd originally went to him because he was w/in walking distance in my pre Strasser days. Time for a change.
So, asked one of the other librarians and one of the media center aides who they had. The librarian said she went w/ who the aide suggested - good enough for me. It's in a strange place, as well - rite unde the Dan Ryan on 26th in one of those areas that the expressway cut through and totally altered.
$1000 total. Not bad, in context of me.
16 July, 2008
lakefoodpibsaturday
Went to the III annual pigfry in evanston. diff local, same strech of eve lake and grass. Total showup, lots of tens of people here and there. I had some sorta weight on my shoulder, so i did not allow myself to enjoy myself @ all for most of the time i was there - something about the mass of children running about. however, the body schemicals change with exercise, so i tossed the league about w/ drgon and sat around dumbfounded. Ate little; this the third roast, and I still thin Ive tasted only enough pig to fit on a thimble (and i love swine). It was only organizing soccer game and running about and nearing vomiting (what do you want / i'd just smkoed a cigarand hadn't eaten all day?) that changed the chemicals in my body from deeply sad to happy happy to be about frenz enjoying my presence. Always forget about that 'spread lite ' stuff when all Ican ponder on is self and selfs context.
But it is funny how the sweating changed my mind.
fe. I had to collect a bunch of shit -a bucket of Harolds, inflate the soccer balls, collect the mitts and balls, pack, pack for to-morrow since sleepover, jenkequipe, etc etc etc
Again, lots there. missings, to be sure, but in a propr mood i coulda talked forever. Finally sat down a rapped a bit w/ two of the other librarians in the house, and became a regualr peekneek guest instead of feeling like some alien outsider in/outside my head - in the company of all my frenz.
some problema i got.
Soccer was good. We lost my ball almost immediately to the eitiopian celebration next peekneek space over - they had a prayer circle of 100 people surrounding my football and about 5 others. The game was ok - again, we play on a field of 20 x 30 so there is no room other to just boot it forward - im dying to play on a proper pitch. We got the kids involved. The Unsinkable , (sans shoes) and Processed impressed the most even thogh there were many atheletes there.
More soccer for me. Not only did i get there late, but because i steadfastly wanted to go to Fire game that nite, i left and did landsppedrecord to 65th and Harlem and to th game just after kickoff. Nice game- it was -v- Toronto, and they brough their traveling fans. Theyoverspilled the aea where enemy fans are supposed to sit - very impressive. I hate to say it, but I doubt that Sec 8 could get that many fans to cananda for a game there. dunno and wanna try one day.
Gf liked the game. Again, very dissapointed since she couldn't go the peekneek -she's so talkative (one of those people) and is perfect for that crowd. I've written before, but she makes up for my taciturness.*No Oriles this year. Homes id's a ......... Kingfisher??. I'll get back to this. But it was a good time. I some times can't let myself fully out, but after a bit I enjoyedmyself. Didn't want to leave.
...............................................................................
*=Taciturn to my moods. Of course I have my outspoken times, helloing strangers w/out a pause @ turns and told to be quiet by Gallo or Jackson because my mouth is impossible to stop -@ times.
rocky did the snap above
yes that's me
Processed did the snap below
yes that's me
deadmans cellfone
Steppenwolf production of "Dead Man's Cellphone" Steppenwolf lets people call in on the AM of the show to get $20 tix, so we planned. Took her daughter, too. Maybe the sixth time in three years I've hung out w/ her. All she does is complain. Never heard anything else out of her mouth. Ever. Good kid, but she's one of those exhausting ones that are about. Don't have much to do w/ her, so she doesn't exhaust me.
The Play.
The Gallo Scale.
Didn't blow me away, but I was sitting forward, engrossed.
It involved a sheepish woman who finds a dead guy in a cafe and gets involved w/ his family because she keeps his cell hone and answers it. Fucked up family. Strange play, strange situations, but it worked. Two acts, the best part was when the Dead Man delivers a siliquoy (sc) to start the 2d half. Brilliant. I love it when y can just sit there and splattr all yr guts out laughing @ one guy on stage jus' talking about the situation. Brilliant.
There are three plays i wanna now go.
"Attempters" by the House - missed its regualr run, but it will be reprised for four days in a fortnite.
Take the kids.
"Esperenza Rising"
Only for the kids.
"Lookingglass Alice"
Third reprise, this 2008 production.
Take the kids.
Trib review
Reader
11 July, 2008
I used to be popular
Funny... I used always be invited to these things on that property,(a slightley crazy story about being on the lake by myself,
a smaller story about a missing metal thing by persons w/ a missing mental thing)
But 'seriously' -when I read it in Gozzers blog, it was... hey, wait a minute, what's the matter: Don't y like my girlfriend??*
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*=at's a joke. I remember being invited several moons ago.
“Fuck Jennifer Tilly”- June 2008
Another in a long line of work written by Lazers but stolen by "Security out". I would have printed it earlier, but there were problems.....
“Fuck Jennifer Tilly”
- June 2008
WRITTEN BY LAZERS
names edited by Hilts
It had been a good 18 months since my last vacation (I don’t count the trip for O.’s wedding, although I suppose I should), and I was looking forward to 8 nights spread across southern California and, to an even greater extent, the Nevada desert town that I love so much.
Agenda: focus of California was to meet my new little cousin (The Bat), the daughter of the Elgin City Madman. For Las Vegas, the focus was my virgin entry into a World Series of Poker tournament.
Friday, June 13th
Major storms were threatened for overnight, and I was concerned about an on-time departure from O’Hare. United Airlines screwed with my itinerary, adding a plane-change in Denver while slicing 90 minutes off my window of time in Las Vegas to claim my bag then check in for my Southwest flight to Burbank.
I left the Lazlo around 4:00 am in order to catch my 6:00 am flight. It was raining, but not particularly hard. I made my way out towards Clark and Fullerton to catch a cab, and the rain decided to add the description “torrential downpour” to the mix. By the time I finally won my battle for a cab with the crowd of drunks leaving Neo, I was more drenched than Billy E in Lil’ Darlins’.
Despite the weather and a huge amount of travelers already at O’Hare, my flight to Denver left as scheduled. I have never been to Denver, and I had heard that flying into their state-of-the-art airport is cool, as the plane winds its way through the mountains before the airport appears out of nowhere. Are there two Denvers? I thought we were landing in the plains of Kansas.
I scurry over to the gate for my next flight (that gate of course being as far as possible from my arrival gate), and I find myself seated next to two guys each headed to Las Vegas for separate bachelor parties. The buzz has begun. As we land at McCarran, I can’t help but think how much it would suck to have to connect through Las Vegas without having any Las Vegas time on the agenda. I know I would have been mad. Thank God I’m back here in a few days.
As my plane taxied towards its McCarran gate, the thought running through my mind was wonder if airfare was already available for the pending January 2009 trip with Tommy T.
Three flights on two airlines with non-linked itineraries and weather concerns right from the beginning- yet I land at the Burbank airport on time. My sister picks me up and whisks me to the hotel for check-in.
We spent the afternoon checking out some stores with her also running some errands. I have her drop me back at the hotel for a bit while she runs one of those errands. I approach the elevator, where a busty Latina is already waiting. She starts to talk with me, I think primarily about the bad cell phone reception on the lower floors of the hotel. I keep thinking, “too bad this isn’t Las Vegas”- that scenario has a much different connotation when it occurs there. In Burbank, she’s just a friendly tourist.
"The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" and I headed up to Newhall for the evening in order to visit the Madman clan. When still in "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park"’s neighborhood, we encounter an idiotic driver making a very poor attempt at a three-point turn in a driveway. My too-intense sister starts railing on them, and I receive a laugh when the car turns out to be a Jetta- the vehicle well known as my sister’s enemy.
Was good to see the Elgin City mad Mad and Grandy and little At the Bat. She’s only a couple of months old, so there’s not a whole lot she does other than spit up and look like Peter Lorre. Very cool to meet her while I’m still more mature than she is. That situation will change within only a few years.
Saturday, June 14th
First line of business was to pick up Mom, Pop and Aunt Judith at the airport. They all arrived successfully, but only Mom’s luggage joined them. We still go the hotel to get them checked-in, and Elgin stayed on top of the luggage fiasco throughout lunch. Aunt Ju’s bag arrived while we were still eating- for some reason it was taken off the plane at their Las Vegas connection. Two down, one to go.
Aunt Ju, Mom and Elgin soon head out to San Diego, where they would be attending the US Open the next day. Pop, "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" , and I were also going to ride down to spend the evening with them, but Pop’s luggage was still MIA. Thus, we spent our Saturday night of vacation with Pop shopping for clothes and toiletries at Target then laundering them at my hotel. We did then cruise the “nightlife” area of downtown Burbank, stopping for a drink and appetizer at some bar. Pop is then escorted back to his hotel, and I could tell he was sad to be alone for the night (we were at separate hotels).
Sunday, June 15th
In the morning I talk with "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" , and she informs me that Pop’s luggage has been located. Woo-hoo! We head over to the airport to claim the bag as well as reimbursement for the items he had to purchase to get through the first day/night (plus, you know, for the effort). The Southwest employee was nice and helpful, and she had to call a supervisor to approve the vouchers. In the one and only “celebrity” sighting of the California portion of the trip, the supervisor turned out to be the busty Yolanda, one of the Southwest employees prominently followed in the A&E show “Airline”, where she helps out in various customer situations and usually ends up being hit on by the guy passengers. I didn’t say anything until afterwards, and Pop was bumming on me for not pointing this fact out at the time. I guess he wanted to hit on her, too.
The three of us do decide to make a jaunt down to San Diego, although "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" refuses to take Pop to see the Mexican border (probably a wise decision). By the time we arrive, "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" needs to fill the gas tank. She exits in the downtown area and is flummoxed by the lack of gas stations. Duh- has she never been in a downtown area before? So we’re driving around blindly, then when stuck at a light, I ask some passing police officers on bikes for directions. They gladly point us towards the nearest gas station (which sounded like it was still a bit away), but for reasons only she knows, "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" decides to ignore their directions completely. She continues on the road we already were on, stating, “There’s probably a gas station on this street.”
After finally finding a gas station, we head over to Coronado Island. Pop wants to go to the Coronado Hotel, which I gather is at least somewhat famous. Pop has been there before, and he was giving directions from memory, but "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" said she didn’t want to drive around aimlessly looking for it. Didn’t we just spend 20 minutes driving around aimlessly looking for gas?
At some point during all of this, I started wondering how hard it would be to coordinate a trip to see all 5 California baseball teams within a reasonable time period. Hmmm.
After checking out the hotel, we head to some Asian Bistro for lunch. "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" orders an iced tea, which comes with a slice of lemon. Pop orders a diet cola, which comes with a slice of lemon. I order lemonade, which does not come with a slice of lemon. Go figure. We start to question the waitress about this oddity, and she knew exactly where we were headed. She wonders the same thing.
Even though the Padres were on the road, I make "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" park near Petco so that I can check out the ballpark. It was cool to see, and there are several rows of bleacher-type seats outside of the ballpark in the outfield. I assume these must be free on a “first come, first served” basis? Pretty cool if that’s the case. I just don’t see how they could charge money for those and manage to enforce it.
We head back to Los Angeles, where "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" had one surprise in store for Pop. See, back around 1960, Pop moved to California to pursue a job in the entertainment industry. He didn’t last long- maybe as short as a month- before he found himself moving back home. Anyway, "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" took us to the neighborhood where he lived back then, and we looked for his apartment building on La Mirada. He’s pretty sure which one it was, and as "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" kept the car double-parked while he reminisced, I wondered how long it would take for us either to be shot or arrested.
We head out for some late grub, and the US Open crew stops by to drop off Mom and say hello. They had a great time at the Open, getting to see a lot of Tiger Woods (Aunt Ju’s focus for this excursion). At one point, a girl around 12 years old yelled to Woods that she loved him. Aunt Ju yelled that she loved him more, to which the girl responded with a “nyuh-uh.” As this feud settled as quickly as it started, let me just point out that my Aunt Ju is around 60 years old.
I ask "The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" why “Chatsworth, CA” would sound familiar to me. She said that’s the big porn city right now. Wow- I must be living a secret life that I’m bummed not to remember.
Monday, June 16th
"The Only other Punk Rocker in 1980's Marquette Park outside of Hilts" picks me up so that we can meet the parents for breakfast, after which we hung around just a bit before I had to be whisked to the Burbank airport for the next leg of my trip: Las Vegas. One thing I noticed about the Burbank airport: when I message is going to be played over the PA system, it is preceded by a “ting” that sounds like the opening of the “ting” played on Baseball Tonight when there is a game update coming. Each time I’d hear it, I would mentally complete the BT version.
I expected the Las Vegas airport to be somewhat dead, considering it was Monday afternoon. Wrong! It was a madhouse (I would later find out there were three sizeable conventions in town). The line for cabs was huge and enforced with Nazi-like precision. Fortunately it moved fast, and I soon found myself inside my own cab and headed to the Imperial Palace.
My cabbie asked the usual “where you from?” question, and upon hearing my response, he launched a huge anti-Cub tirade that wasn’t particularly clever, but I found it hilarious that he did so unprovoked. He liked using derisive nicknames- “Dumpster” and “Zambrini”. That latter one was poor, and I was happy to pass along the much better “Dumbrano” for his future use. He was a Pirates fan.
Imperial Palace- still a dump, but it’s a cheap dump with a great location. The place doesn’t seem to have changed one drop since I last stayed here 13 years ago. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure I used the same towels and washrags on that prior trip. They badly need to renovate- add wall safes, add a bar-lock on the door, put some cans of Drano next to the bathtub. For a nod to an Imperial Palace stay from 16 years ago, I also found a bug in the bathtub one morning; however, it wasn’t a beetle.
Agenda for tonight: dinner reservation at Bobby Flay’s “Mesa Grill” in Caesar’s Palace, then head over to the Rio to check everything out prior to tomorrow’s tournament. I also planned to buy some snacks for the tournament, then get to bed early for a good night of sleep. I must also get back to a poker mindset- somewhere along the way I became horny. This town just brings out Sleazy Don.
With a bit of time before dinner, I head over to Bellagio, just to look around. It feels good to be home.
Over to Caesar’s Palace, where I still have an hour before dinner. I hang around the Sports book. I haven’t been around this much smoke in a while- my mind is blown by how noticeable it is.
Note on Sports book board: “Harrah’s…cannot take wagers on Boston Celtics games because Harrah’s…has an ownership interest in the Boston Celtics. We apologize for the inconvenience.”
Time for dinner, and I’m dressed “business casual” as I was told, but it was apparent the dress code is much looser than that. Apparently, I packed my good shoes for nothing. The hostess was cute, as was one of the sommeliers. This might be the first time I’ve ever been in a restaurant that even had a sommelier.
• Appetizer: Tiger Shrimp & Roasted Garlic Corn Tamale, which featured very good pieces of shrimp, and I liked the sweetness of the corn.
• Entrée: spice-rubbed chicken breast with a slight cheese-based breading. The breast had a bone at the end of it. I’ve not seen chicken breast look like that before- the bone confused me. When I reached that end of it, there still appeared to be some meat, but as I tried to cut some off, I loudly clanked my utensil on the plate, so I gave up on that part. As a side, I had a Double-Baked Potato with horseradish, green onions and crème fraiche.
• Dessert: I might as well go all out into being a hog, so I ordered a frozen Chocolate Peanut Butter Mousse with raspberry compote, hot fudge and raspberry gelee. Now and then I would hit a pocket of salt (no doubt from the peanuts)- those bites were particularly joyous. Good dessert, although I think I would have liked to have seen it a bit less frozen.
Overall, I enjoyed my dinner, plus it had the humorous added bonus of the lady at the next table going on and on about “sticky cilantro”.
I changed back into much more casual clothing then took the shuttle to the Rio. I was able to check in for my tourney, receiving my buy-in receipt, a copy of the same for the dealer, and a $10 off coupon at all Rio restaurants. For reasons I cannot explain, I never used that coupon even though I twice ate at the Rio.
I check out the Amazon Room and scout out the location of my seat (Orange Section, Table 6, Seat 4). The first player I see that I know is Maria Ho, who finished an impressive 38th place in the Main Event last year. I was pleased to see her, and I’m sure you can tell why!
Event #28 (Pot Limit Omaha with Rebuys) was down to four players, and there was a lot of buzz because Johnny Chan was still alive, seeking a record-tying 11th bracelet. However, Johnny was pretty short-stacked and exited soon thereafter. I should have come to the Amazon Room earlier, as this same final table had previously included Phil Hellmuth, Daniel Negreanu and John Juanda. That’s a high-powered table!
Event #31 (No Limit Hold’em Six-Handed) was just coming off of break, and Robert Williamson III is barreling like a freight train towards his table, trying to ensure he wouldn’t miss a hand. Nobody was injured.
Hevad Kahn is seated near the rail in that same event, and an attractive, hooker-ish looking girl wants a photo with him. He says she will have to wait for the next break. If I ever become a professional poker player, I promise not to blow off my attractive, hooker-ish looking fans.
Photos are allowed in the Amazon Room, but no flash photography!
The hallways outside the Amazon Room are bustling with people and booths. All-In Energy Drink is promoting an early July tournament that is somehow tied to Johnny Chan. Promo girl Ashley, a cute brunette, tries to get me to join their tournament, but I won’t be there in July. I tell her I’ll be in tomorrow’s tournament, and she gives me a knuckle-bump for good luck. I think I have another bump in mind for her.
I followed my plan and was back at the Imperial Palace at 10:00 in order to get a good night of sleep. The appearance of Sleazy Don could prove to be a problem. I’ve already said to myself, “you have to earn nudity,” in order to keep him at bay.
Tuesday, June 17th
Event #32: No Limit Hold’em
Despite my best intentions, I did not have a good night of sleep. I was up off-and-on throughout the night. Perhaps there was some nervousness, but I think it was primarily the atmosphere of my room. Words and phrases that apply: dry mouth, dry throat, runny nose, and indigestion. Nonetheless, I stayed in bed until 7:00 am.
The plan: take some notes for myself as reminders; reread “Tournament Day One” thoughts in Gus Hansen’s book (although I don’t really play like Gus, there was still some good advice); head over to the Rio as early as possible, just to suck up the atmosphere.
By 9:00 am, I’m off to the Rio. The shuttle doesn’t start running until 10:00, so I take a cab. I eat breakfast at the Sao Paulo Café (my first missed chance to use my coupon). Sight seen: Humberto Brenes, looking fresh out of bed after a long night, and his brother heading into the spa.
Gavin Smith walks past- what a surprise. He probably looked at me and thought, “does this fucker ever go away?”
I spent a bit of time watching the Poker Road radio show with Joe Sebok, Gavin Smith, and whatever guy is the main host. One topic: who is the worst female player? I hear the name Clonie Gowen mentioned.
As noon approaches, the doors to the Amazon Room swing open, and I soon make my way towards the Orange section. We start with 3000 in chips and blind levels of 25/50. My “M” is 40. Our dealer reminds me of Bill Maher.
At 12:01, World Series of Poker Commissioner Jeffrey Pollack announces, “Shuffle up and deal” and our game begins.
Hand 1: Only 6 of the 10 players at my table are actually here. Second to act before the flop, my very first WSOP hand is 10-8 offsuit. I fold. I’ve beaten the odds by not being eliminated in the first hand. Take that, Oliver Hudson.
(Note: I’ll only mention the hands in which I was involved, leaving out a few insignificant hands where I saw the flop cheaply from the blinds but was only in a “check/fold” mode.)
Hand 2: In an early/middle position, I’m dealt A-K offsuit. I open raise to 4x the blind (nervousness on my part, as my intent was a more standard 3x raise- duh). Everyone folds, and I win my first WSOP pot!
Hand 3: In one of the blinds, I’m dealt K-K. Action prior to me consisted of a raise and one caller. I reraise 9x the blind. One of the players folded but the other called the bet (don’t recall if it was the prior raiser or caller). The flop brings all cards below my Kings, but with 2 diamonds. I bet 500 into the pot of around 1075- a standard continuation bet. The other player calls- is he sitting on overcards or a draw of some sort, or did he actually hit that flop? The turn was another diamond. Let’s keep the pot small- I check, he checks. The river pairs the board. I again opt to keep the pot small, checking with the intention of calling an opponent bet, assuming it wasn’t too outrageous. I check, he checks. I show my Kings, and the opponent mucks. Analysis: I like my preflop reraise- I want to win the pot right here rather than risk being out of position if an Ace hits the flop. My flop bet could have been 50 higher- chalk that up to me not having the total pot flashed atop my computer screen, and my estimate being a shade off. I like my check on the turn, but I think I should have tossed out a small value bet on the river. Nonetheless, the pot is mine.
After 60 minutes of play, they send us on our first break- about 60 minutes early. They were having computer problems that greatly slowed down the registration process (that’s why my table still had only 6 people- and answered a lot of questions when the dealers were instructed to take the chips stacks for the missing players off the table). The intent was to resolve those problems during that time.
I see Hevad Kahn in the hallway during break- that guy is very tall.
Back in action, and blinds move up to 50/100 with my 3900-chip stack representing an “M” of 26- still in good shape.
Hand 4: In the first hand after the break, I’m dealt A-K offsuit in early position (I may have even been “under the gun”). I made a standard raise of 3x and was called only by the small blind. Rags hit the flop, and I start gathering chips for my continuation bet, but the dealer points out that the action is not to me (at the time, I think I thought it was the button that had called the raise). The small blind checks, and I fire out my continuation bet- 400 into the pot of 700. The small blind raises to (amount I don’t recall). This guy was first or second in chips at our table, and his prior bets seemed to indicate he had something. I see no reason to stay any further in the hand with only overcards. I fold, and he flips over 3-3. That would have put me at around a 3-1 disadvantage (though I don’t recall if there was a 3 on the flop- that would have had me drawing dead). Good fold. Analysis: I consider this hand to be the most crucial one of my tournament. My preflop raise, flop continuation bet, and subsequent fold all are fine. However, my having to be stopped from acting out of turn and then subsequently being check-raised definitely rattled me and affected my play for the next few hands that I played.
By now, I think I was moved to my second table: Red Section, Table 18, Seat 5. One of the big stacks from my first table also moves here, now seated to my left.
Hand 5: Another A-K (I may have been the cutoff)- I open raise 3x. The button player calls and both blinds fold. Nothing on the flop has hit me at all- this is looking too much like Hand 4 only with a different big stack and position switched. Still rattled from that prior hand, I check the flop. The button bets, and I fold. Analysis: Preflop raise is fine, but I should have made my continuation bet on the flop, or at least check/called. Another 300 chips out of the stack.
Hand 6: I’m dealt 7-7 in the cutoff and open raise 3x. The button again calls. The flop hits K-rag-rag. I check. The button bets, and I fold. Analysis: Okay, I need to quit this timid “afraid to make a continuation bet” mode before they tattoo the word “pussy” on my forehead.
Hand 7: I’m dealt A-K on the button and open raise 3x to win the blinds.
Hand 8: I’m dealt A-Q in middle position and open raise 3x to win the blinds.
My second table was not without its entertaining elements. There was a crusty old guy a few seats to my right. I could see him being the old coot in the horror movie who tells the kids not to go down to that campsite or “you’re gonna die!” Whenever he folded preflop, he would fire both of his cards into the muck instead of pushing them forward for the dealer to gather. The problem with that move was that the dealer then had to count all of the cards to make sure he tossed two cards back, so after several instances, she asked him to stop doing it. The old coot felt he was being picked on and didn’t see any problem with his folds. After he vented a bit, that should have been it, except that someone then noticed that the guy sitting on my left had a “dirty stack”- he had one stack with a wrong denomination chip stuck in the middle. Due to the chip colors, it was a reasonable oversight that was quickly fixed by the player. However, now the old coot wants to know why he was picked on for his transgression but the dealer didn’t say anything to the “dirty stack”. Fortunately, our table broke before he could go back to his pickup to grab the shotgun.
I’m now at my third table: Blue Section, Table 25, Seat 8. Just as I arrive, David Williams is being eliminated from the tournament.
Blinds were up to 100/200, and my stack has dwindled to around 1600. My “M” is a paltry 5+, and I’m looking for a spot to move “all in” when Jennifer Tilly is moved to my table, two seats to my right. She is nursing a stack maybe a bit bigger than mine.
Hand 9: I’m dealt K-K in the big blind, and play folds around to Tilly on the button. She just limps into the pot and the small blind (a rather entertaining young guy from South Africa) folds. I move “all in”, and Tilly folds.
Hand 10: Still short, I’m in middle position when Tilly moves “all in”. I look down to see Q-Q and shove my stack “all in” too. I have her covered by a little bit. Play folds around to the big blind, who is contemplating a call, and Tilly flips over her cards, showing A-9 of diamonds. She realizes her error and flips her cards back over. The situations: a) I see that I have her crushed, a good 2-1 favorite over her hand- this is good; and b) the big blind has seen that at least one of the “all in” players isn’t exactly sitting on a monster, making him more likely to call- this is bad. Tilly realizes her error may pull the big blind into the hand, and she apologizes to me. Nonetheless, the big blind decides to sit out the hand, folding a K-J offsuit face up. My take- he thought way too long about calling. Even though Tilly’s hand isn’t that great, it’s still better than his (maybe 3-2 favorite) and there was another “all in” after her bet. Considering we’ve already seen Tilly’s cards, he has to give me credit for a hand better than hers. Only thing I could think is that maybe he also then had me on some sort of Ace hand, meaning we may now have showdown value against him, but the odds of either of us improving that Ace are lowered. Anyway, he folded- no harm, no foul, and let’s see a flop: A-x-x, and I’m in big trouble. My 2-1 favorite has turned into a 9-1 underdog needing one of the two remaining Queens to win (I didn’t even have any runner-runner possibilities). The turn and river are blanks, and I’m crippled, down to less than one big blind.
Hand 11: Can’t really sit around waiting for a premium hand when one has less than one big blind, so I shove “all in” without looking at my cards. The South African kid says he has a good feeling- don’t look at them at all…I’m in good shape. Nonetheless, I look to see my ultimate stand was being made with 7-2 suited. I don’t even know which player officially eliminated me, but I didn’t even sniff any of those board cards, and I was gone. I wished everyone a “good game” and “good luck” and made my exit.
I lasted around 2:45 hours of play, falling just a bit short of the next break. Tommy T sent a test message indicating that he read the tournament lost around 1,000 players within the first three hours (out of 2,304 total entrants), so I figure I finished somewhere in the 1,300th -1,400th range.
I greatly enjoyed the buzz of the experience and would love to do it again (hell, if I could afford to, I’d love to do it every year). There I was, amidst all of that poker action, hearing a convention hall filled with chips being shuffled and making noise like its full of cockroaches, and I was done. No, this wasn’t online, where I could quickly enter another low buy-in tournament. I’m bummed.
I still hang around the Rio, just to suck up the atmosphere. Random notes:
• Mike Matusow appears at the PPA booth to sign autographs. I get my photo taken with him.
• There are a ton of huge names in Event #33 (World Championship 7-Card Stud High-Low Split 8 or Better), which started at 5:00. Every table looks like a murderers’ row.
• I notice Shannon Elizabeth is sitting near the rail but not drawing much of a crowd. Does nobody recognize her, or has her “babe” star fallen? I also notice that she has a tramp stamp.
• After ducking elimination, Tilly has used my chips to rebuild a decent stack. I plan to try to corner her on break to see if she’ll take a photo with me, or at least let me fondle her breasts. I don’t get a good opportunity to do so, though.
• In the hallway, an older guy (50s)- bald on top but longer hair on the sides- facing into one cubby hole of what looks like it once was a bank of phones- loudly cursing with “fuck you” and other unhappy mumblings. He is not on the phone.
• How can Howard Lederer be a vegan and still be that big?
• After sending a text update on my result, receive the following hilarious text message from Disco Danny B: “Fuck Jennifer Tilly. U need a hooker.”
• I had nothing to do with the robbery and beating of Javon Walker. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
• Two gals looking a lot like hookers floating around the gaming pits- both ethnic, the short blonde in a skin-tight green dress, the taller one in a skin-tight yellow dress. I love this town!
• I get a chance to wish good luck to Phil Hellmuth as he returns from break. He says thanks.
• It looked like Tilly finished somewhere in the 400-500 range.
Back to the Imperial Palace and in bed around 10:30. I’m spent.
Wednesday, June 18th
After a surprisingly good night of sleep, I head over to Bellagio around 11:30. At the Sports book, I analyze that day’s baseball games and decide to wager on two of them:
a) Rangers +110 vs Braves: The Braves are one of the worst road teams in baseball, and as mediocre-bad as the Rangers are, I can’t believe they are the underdog in this game while at home. Both teams are pitching guys I’ve never heard of: Hurley for the Rangers, and Reyes for the Braves.
b) Rays +105 vs Cubs: Rays still getting no love, despite their good start. Zambrano is pitching for the Cubs, and he just hasn’t pitched that well lately (of course, Rays’ starter Andy Sonnanstine hasn’t either). Plus, I like making a bet just for general anti-Zambrano sentiment. With the removal of Barry Bonds from the game, Zambrano easily inherits the mantle of “Don’s most hated player”.
I find a $10 blackjack table with dealer Jay. I slide in at 3rd base, and our 1st baseman (Hee Sop Choi) gets things off to a bad start by hitting a 13/14 against the dealer bust card. Our middle infield was a middle-aged couple who didn’t really know what they were doing but at least had the sense to check their “cheat sheet” when they were uncertain. Even with the “cheat sheet”, they weren’t exactly error-free, and soft hands very much seemed to throw them for a loop. All in all, the table resulted in a quick $100 loss for me, and it managed to disintegrate entirely within the space of three hands.
Why I didn’t head to the famous handicap table in the first place is beyond me, but I manage to slide in at 1st base with dealers Rod and Maria. Our middle infield was made up of a West Virginia bachelor party: bachelor Jason (SS) and his brother Brian (2B), with their crew in the wings. Our 3rd baseman was an older fellow who I hoped would prove to be the cagey veteran. Instead, he proved to be “retire already, old man”.
I liked the people at my table and wanted it to do well. I felt it was appropriate for us to pay tribute to Jason and his upcoming probable mistake, and I suggested the table do a shot of something. As bachelor, Jason selected tequila (I was not happy to hear that choice- I don’t think I’ve had tequila since the infamous night of puking 5 times after the fishbowl of it at Bamboo Bernie’s back in the early 90s). Nonetheless, I partook (since it was my idea in the first place), and it was a quick reminder why I don’t drink tequila. I was pretty fucked up.
The pit boss was named Randy, and this guy wouldn’t shut up- yap yap yap. Brian made the mistake of asking about the Las Vegas housing market, and Randy proceeded to filibuster on the topic. Once, when Brian had to shift attention to an actual blackjack related decision, Randy followed up afterwards by asking if Brian had heard what he said. Randy also managed a filibuster on strip clubs.
The table is eventually whittled down, and I add another $200 in blackjack losses. That’s valuable Sleazy Don money we’re losing here!
I take a walk down to the Hooters Hotel for dinner- it may not be around the next time I make it out to Las Vegas, so I ought to make one last trip. I eat in the Hooters itself, where I had a cute waitress named Andria. There were several cute waitresses- none great, but several good. Plus, it’s a joy to be able to eat wings again.
Pop had given me $5 and specific instructions as how to gamble with it: bet it on a roulette table on Red. If doubled, find a $5 slot machine that takes two tokens and run the money through there. If a winner, I think I was supposed to play the winnings until building to a certain level. Fortunately, my forgetting what that level was did not come into play, as the initial roulette bet was for a spin that hit a green zero.
Back to Imperial Palace, and I think I know where all of those old PT’s dj’s retire- they now work in the IP Dealertainer section (“we’re here ‘til 4:00 and we’re going to party!”).
On my way back to the IP, in front of the Flamingo, there are two black gals, blatant hookers, and they seem to have their radar on me. That may have been because I was trying to line up a photo of the massive amount of “escort card” dealers that were in a nice line. I don’t think I’m going to capture the effect I was going for, though.
I shuttle over to the Rio. As we approach, I note that I did not know the Rio had a golf thing right next to it. Then genius Don realizes the sign says “Parking” and not “Par King”.
Just as yesterday, I see an olive-skinned goddess floating around the Amazon Room. She has access to the pro’s break area, and I assume one of them is banging her. My hat’s off to that!
I visit the booth promoting the new Sapphire Pool area at the Rio. The Sapphire Pool is supposed to be a Brazilian pool experience in which strippers from Sapphire’s strip club hang around topless. Mostly babes manned the booth over the past few days. One posed for a photo with me (although she said she doesn’t go topless by the pool). I got into a conversation about the pool with another (a hot brunette). She told me about the pool: “It’s not like a strip club, with a bunch of naked women all over. It’s more of a European feel.” My response: “Of course, there’s something to be said for a bunch of naked women all over.” She didn’t seem to care for that response.
Several other very hot women floating around the Amazon room, also. Did I mention that I love this town?
I take the shuttle back to Harrah’s in order to pick up a cab to the Hard Rock Casino. I had it as an agenda item, as I had read the Hard Rock had some deal with porn star Tera Patrick to open the “Tera Patrick Gaming Pit” on the main floor (with the dealers called the “Hells Belles”).
After entering the cab, the driver (David) immediately launches into selling me on some sex. He had a catalog of “actual” girls for which he could drive me to a massage parlor that was only 10-15 minutes away, I would select one, and he would take the two of us back to my hotel, where she would have sex with me for $150 an hour (he, of course, would get a cut from the provider). No doubt a scam, but I sure enjoyed perusing through his catalog.
David also said he’s available to take me to a strip club. His choices for the best ones right now are Spearmint Rhino and Olympic Garden. Okay, his answer here is quite reasonable and likely accurate. Maybe there’s something to the catalog. I ask about the historically bad relationship between the local cabbies and the Olympic Garden. He indicates things are currently smooth.
David then updates me on the brothels. He said the high price of gas is killing the Chicken Ranch, as truck drivers have not been visiting. He said prices are down to around $300 per hour to lure customers, and it would be a $200 round trip cab ride, if I were interested. I asked if that situation existed at all of the brothels, or only that one. He assumed all of them. Gotta admit that this one intrigued me (although I’d get my own transportation)- if I knew for certain that price was accurate, I’d probably have someone check out the website to give me an idea of the current lineup.
Cripes, David talked about a lot of sex options during such a short cab ride. He gave me his phone number on a cab receipt in case I was interested in any of his options. I’m pretty sure he was gay.
Into the Hard Rock, and although there was no sign of a Tera Patrick Gaming Pit, what a phenomenal collection of women (as expected). I didn’t much want to play any blackjack after the luck at Bellagio, even though they did have some lower betting minimum tables, but I didn’t want to leave either. I instead played some quarter “Wheel of Fortune” machine off-and-on in between taking constitutionals around the gaming and outer area, just for leering purposes. I’m content when I end up “even” at my Hard Rock gaming.
The nightclub at the Hard Rock is currently “Body English”, and I planted myself at a nearby slot machine just to watch the women coming in and out of there. Between the patrons, the waitresses and many of the dealers, I’m surprised I didn’t end up wearing a neck brace.
I was back to my hotel room sometime between 1:00-2:00, much later than the past two nights but way too early by Las Vegas trip standards. I’m not happy about that.
Thursday, June 19th
I decide to spend some time at the Imperial Palace pool in the late morning. Although the hotel itself remains a dump, I still like the pool area. They usually have a babe waitress waltzing around serving drinks in a bikini, and today was no different. My waitress was a blonde, foreign gal (Eastern European?) who was pretty but admittedly could have been in better shape.
I’ve noticed that my chick range has expanded- Sleazy Don is opening up like a player at a 6-handed poker table. I’m horny. The two mediocre Asian gals also at the pool have really caught my eye, but they are with guys. The little one slips and falls on some water (guess she missed that big, yellow “be careful- wet” sign), but the chunky one was the one who really did a great thing. Their group started posing for photos with each other, and for the photo of her and one of the fellows, she did this wonderfully sexy pose-tossing her head back, bending one knee. I liked it a lot.
I stick around only for one Long Island Iced Tea, then I’m gone. After a shower, it’s back to Bellagio. I win my baseball bet on the Rays (5-4) but lose the Rangers (5-2, with the Braves putting up 3 runs in the 9th inning). I should have gone with my third choice, which was Dodgers at Reds. Derrek Lowe was pitching for the Dodgers, and I should have supported my Rotisserie team. No games stand out to bet in today’s short schedule (although my options are further limited by most being afternoon games that have already started).
The plan: stay liquored up just enough to do something both stupid and story-worthy.
I should have tossed out a prop bet on the chances of playing the Bellagio handicap table. It would have been a Big Brown-ish 2-5.
Over to the Bellagio handicap table, which is being manned by Golden Girls Sylvia and Gloria. For the second day in a row, the cocktail waitress is weak. In general, the Bellagio seems dead this week.
Anyway, I slide in at 3rd base. Our players at 1st and 2nd base are, respectively, an older Asian guy and a somewhat younger Asian gal (Jamie). For many hours, I will mistakenly assume they are together. Both were solid players. The SS position was the one that had the most turnover:
• Our starting SS was a lady who was overall a decent player but had a few betting quirks- she would not double down, and she would not hit on a 2-card 16.
• The next SS was a Spanish guy that didn’t speak a lick of English and didn’t know what he was doing. Often, he tried to increase his bet in the middle of play by putting another chip atop his current bet.
• Next was a white guy who was a solid player, followed by another white guy who seemed solid but was there only a short amount of time.
• We got saddled with our first mediocre white SS who once was going to hit his soft 19.
Overall, our table is doing well, and another guy comes over and asks if he can get on the table. The dealer points out the only two slots open are the ones actually reserved for someone handicapped (I knew that word “handicap” had some relevance here!). I tell him, “If you can get your hands on a wheelchair, you can slide in there.” His response: “My wife is in a wheelchair, so I don’t think she’d appreciate that.” D’oh!
Well into the day, I haven’t eaten anything but a breakfast bar, and my new task is to get some food from the waitress. Items requested that she would not bring: pizza, potatoes au gratin, Snickers bar, Ho-Hos, Apple Jacks, and panini. Finally, I ask for a “Bar Fruit Salad”. The waitress says that I look like a fruit (BAM!), but she does then provide one- maraschino cherries, olives, orange wedge, pineapple wedge, maybe one or two other things. Good to get some food in me, but not nearly enough to offset the tremendous amount of Rum I already ingested.
Our original chick SS returns, and this time she asks if we mind her little quirk about not hitting 2-card 16. As long as she is consistent, I don’t mind.
Jamie leaves, and our SS (Mary) moves to 2B so that her husband Rob can play SS. They are from Cleveland, where Mary is a personal chef- although don’t blame her for CC Sabathia’s weight. Rob needs guidance to play, but fortunately he is open to receiving it. For some reason, Mary thinks my name is Carl.
Our next change came at 1B, where a busty British gal who was marrying an Australian guy replaced the Asian guy.
Dealer Gloria once dealt for the cast of “Friends”- All were nice except Schwimmer.
Jamie returns to the table and is now our SS. The Cleveland infielders are gone. The British gal and Australian fiancé take turns playing 1B. Their play worsens as the night goes on.
It has been a nice ride, but I can see the team is falling into shambles. I remove myself from the table, and I’m shocked to look at the time to see I had been playing for a good 10-11 hours. After all of that, I’m up $250.
Starving, it’s seems like a good time to hit the Burger King in O’Sheas, but it’s closed. What is this- Iowa? I still haven’t eaten much more than that breakfast bar, and my attempts to get substantial food from the waitress failed miserably. I’m pretty fucked up right now.
I make my way to Harrah’s for dinner at their café. I’m pretty sure my waitress once served Benny Siegel. I’ll bet she was old back then, too. Her name was Doris- now there’s a surprise!
Back to the IP for a shower, and it’s time to see some naked ladies. I take a cab over to the Spearmint Rhino, where the cover charge was obnoxiously high ($30). It’s chaotic and dark in there, with wall-to-wall people, and who knows if I’ll find somewhere to sit. I move into one of the bar areas to get a drink when I was approached by a tall blonde dancer. Her name was Dawson, and she wasn’t really my type, but I decided to go with it and get some dances from her. My heart wasn’t entirely into it- still too fucked up?
Dawson has a cute face and a very nice body, but her dances were only “ok”- nothing noteworthy, and she kept talking and talking and talking. Cripes, maybe she’s the daughter of Randy the Pit Boss. I wish she would just shut up and dance. Then I became very conscious of her using the word “gay” very often as a description, and then I noticed that at certain angles, her face reminded me of my sister’s. Now things had turned creepy.
I got more dance time than I should have taken from Dawson (and it was really frustrating to have her right in my face talking with me at the bar and seeing all of these Asian strippers passing through my peripheral vision), and afterwards didn’t want to spend any more money at Spearmint Rhino. I think that club works better with a group.
Back to the IP, and I head out to see what’s going on in my neighboring casinos. Through IP, Flamingo, and Bill’s- not much. Across the walkway, and I was going to go to Paris and make my way back through Bally’s. However, there was a loud group of guys making their way up the Strip, and I decided to avoid them by rerouting through Bally’s then down to Paris.
Bally’s also was pretty dead, and I make my way to the walkway between it and Paris. It’s very empty except for one person taking a photo of one of the fountains. I did not know if that was a man or a woman.
A bit further ahead, and around the turn comes a very pretty, petite brunette girl walking alone. She wore tight blue jeans and showed a bit of midriff and a bit of cleavage. Her name was Kayla.
SCENE MISSING
Friday, June 20th
The plan: call Kayla. Stay sober beforehand. Let the rest of the night play out itself.
I call Kayla around noon. She says she won’t be able to get a baby sitter until around 2:30, and I should text or call back then. I head down to the Flamingo for lunch, where I see a guy wearing a t-shirt that says “I’m right, you’re wrong”- that’s pretty much my sister’s mantra, word-for-word. I have lunch at the Tropical Breeze, where it costs an extra $1 to get a tomato on one’s sandwich. I don’t want one anyway.
Back to the IP, and I call Kayla after 2:30 and receive her voicemail. I leave a message. By 3:30, she still hadn’t responded, so I sent a text message to her. She finally responded sometime between 4-4:30- she had fallen asleep after the early morning court date. She will shower and come down to the IP to meet me.
SCENE MISSING
After hanging around for a bit, Kayla suggests we head to one of the bars for a quick drink. Sounded like a good idea to me. I ordered the drinks while she went to try to find somewhere to get good reception on her cell phone. She never returned.
Kayla tidbits:
• Has a 3-year old son.
• Has a black lab named Elvis.
• Italian/Irish mix.
• Is banned from Bellagio.
So here we are, Friday night in Las Vegas, and I’m in “5 nights is too long” mode, although I probably would have been fine had I some money left, which would have meant playing blackjack at Bellagio or checking up on the WSOP at the Rio instead of calling Kayla this afternoon. I could have hit the cash station again, but at this point, I didn’t want to.
I finish my Friday with some Bellagio Sports book time, then I hit the O’Sheas Burger King for a cheap dinner. I’m ready to go home.
Saturday, June 21st
I relax and read in the room a bit before showering, packing and leaving. After checkout, I haul my luggage up to the IP Sports book to watch some of the Sox/Cubs game. Only caught a few innings, including the 9-run fiasco. Nice outing, Contreras.
Final Imperial Palace thoughts: never say never, but I don’t think I would stay there again without a major renovation. Plus, the room was way to dry. I’m still coughing up some pretty disgusting stuff.
I head to the airport early, with the expectation that it would be smooth with a low volume of passengers. Nope. It was chaos instead. It was me, and thousands of people who apparently have never flown before. The security line was run by schmucks who were not at all enthused by running an efficient operation. The guy in front of me in the security line wasn’t even at the correct one- he didn’t even know at which gate his flight was departing.
I decide upon Burger King for my second meal in a row. The BK I hit in the airport was run by the other two Golden Girls- I can only assume their names were Helen and Bertha.
Would I do it all again?
Regarding the World Series- hell yes. I would have better preparation next time (prior to this time, I hadn’t played poker online in several days beforehand- no California to start the trip if I do it again). I need to be playing online regularly for momentum and feel (although to be honest, with the way I had been playing online lately, a break may not have been bad).
Regarding the Spearmint Rhino- yes, but probably not alone. Or at least have the sense to keep moving or slide into a seat at the stage, somehow and somewhere. It might be time to give OG another spin, though.
Kayla- Very pretty girl- probably an 8 out of 10. I don’t expect I’ll see her again, though.
2008 Prop Bets
I checked the line on the internet, and here are the current prop bets for trip #26:
World Series:
Odds I’m eliminated in the first hand of the tournament: 250-1 LOSER
Odds that I last the whole first day: 9-1 LOSER
Odds that I finish in the money: 25-1 LOSER
Odds that I win the entire tournament: 10,000-1 LOSER
Odds that at some point I’m berated by Phil Hellmuth: 35-1 LOSER
Odds that I lose a big hand with pocket 9s: 4-1 LOSER
Odds that I end up at the same table as Gavin Smith: 2-1 LOSER
Odds that Sam Grizzle kicks my ass: 40-1 LOSER
General:
Odds there will be at least 1 hot cocktail waitress: 1-25 WINNER (THOUGH SUPRISINGLY NOT AT BELLAGIO)
Odds that at some point I’ll see a woman sans clothing: 3-1 WINNER
Odds that woman will be Asian or Polynesian: 1-95 LOSER
Odds that woman is Evelyn Ng: 2,500-1 LOSER
Over/under for total amount of sleep for the trip (5 nights): 22.5 hours EASILY OVER
Over/under for time spent at the pool: 60 minutes CLOSE, BUT I THINK UNDER
Odds I badly burn myself if I spend time at the pool: 1-1 SURPRISINGLY NOT- LOSER
Odds that I make and win a baseball wager: 10-1 WINNER
Odds that I make and lose a baseball wager: 1-3 WINNER
Odds that I eat at the Burger King in O’Sheas at least once: 3-2 WINNER
Odds for most hotel time:
Imperial Palace (where I’m staying): 4-1 ASSUMED WINNER
Rio (where the tournament is held): 10-1 LOSER
Bellagio (home away from home): 3-1 LOSER
The field: 7-1 LOSER
Odds of a beetle crawling through my hair: 12-1 LOSER (UNLESS SOMEONE MADE BATHTUB ADDENDUM)
Odds of my being north of the Wynn at any point during the trip: 6-1 LOSER
Odds of seeing a “Wanted” poster depicting Tom at the Mai Tai Lounge: 4-1 LOSER
Odds Burt Young comes up: 5-2 LOSER
Odds of seeing a celebrity lamer than the ones encountered on past trips (Mark Lynn Baker, Louie Anderson, Weird Al Yankovic, Jay Leno, Chris Noth): 125-1 (hard to get lamer than Mark Lynn Baker) IS YOLANDA LAMER THAN MARK LYNN BAKER?
Odds I see my first Vegas stage show (not including free lounge shows): 250-1 LOSER
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