New Hilts Express

My first major interview for the N.H.E. couldn't have been more intimidating. My subject, Virgil 'just make it' Hilts, has been a major artist on many scenes for almost three decades. From his initial stature as one of the founding members of the seminal 1970's punk band The New Association, along with his roofing, performance art, and cranks- to his film, music, writing, and acting career today. With work progressing on his latest film, the N.H.E. thought it would be a good time to catch up on America's most vital living artist.

It was well before noon on a Monday before I was able to successfully ring Hilts telly in his hotel room. Deep into filming the sequel to his massive hit "dcs selection show 2007", Hilts wiped the sleepiness out his voice as he remembered his press obligations : "Shit, fuck, I wish I could have slept more. When did I agree to this fucking interview? Fuck." Over the phone the sound of deep hacking went on for 10 seconds - this kept being a repeated phenom - and kept interrupting his thoughts. Yet, when I was finally able to put a record in front of his face, hilts became a different person:maybe it was his profound narcissism, but when the subject turned to Hilts - he never stopped talking. it was an interview that touched on many subjects - his weekend, his film and recording career, art and controversy. But it started on travel.

New Hilts Express: With all of the filming, do you ever have any down time?

Hilts: Yes. In fact, over the weekend, I made a quick trip over to Russia. Convoy. Supplies, or....um.... This was on a Friday. Last Friday, I think. I really needed to.....um .....relax.... and I figured that a quick Strasser sail to the Crimean coast would hit the spot. I was only gone real quick few hours - it's amazing what modern transport has wrought. Really. Back in the olden days, it would be a massive planned out trip, taking a half day - or even a full day - to get where you wanted. Sandwiches needed to be packed - reading materials for the long El and bus rides all mapped and planned........now? Boom. Half and hour- and that's roundels, innit? Whaaaa, back? Depending on traffic, you know..... maybe 45m. A revolution in time and space, that Strasser is. Plus - Gainsborough, Dolomite San Francisco 1994, the Kinks - all can be played maximusly.

New Hilts Express: But there is damage to the airship, isn't there? How's piloting it these days?

Hilts: It's rough, I will not hide that fact. (pauses, thoughtful). Aviation fuel - the drop has been tremendous. Sorties such cheaper, now, then earlier in the war - say, 2m ago. But the ride, maaaaaaan. Dry it's fine- but add water or ice, and it's like I'm trapped in Pearl Harbour and enemy dive bombers are raking my ship. Slipping and gliding on the ice and wet pavement: insane. It's terrible. What's needed, now I fully realise, is a spell in drydock. Expensive. Not such how many pounds (sterling) it will cost. We'll see if the record company can fix up some cash for us to correct the ship.

New Hilts Express: Word is you also caught a basketball game that Friday.

Hilts: (enthusticlly) Yes, yes, I did. Thanks for asking! I went to Hilts H.S.'s first game of the season, and they won big. I was able to get in on the guest list as well - it helps to know people who work @ the stadium and will comp you in. $3 is a lot of money these days. It was a fun game. Nice crowd, got to see the end of the Farragut game before Hilts H.S took the court - and they won big.

New Hilts Express: Favourite player?

Hilts: All of them.

New Hilts Express: Where did you sit?

Hilts: (laughing) Well, well, funny that, cause, y’know, as it was, I was sittin’ up a bit, middle or so, fifteen rows back, up amongst only the my selves, y’know, and, uh, enjoyin’, and, uh, I see a Bozo lookin’ head in a place where for years a certain Bozo head ‘d sit. And sure and all it was him - Bozotop. Hadn’t seen’m in , like -oh, say only eight years. Sickly cat - good to see him just movin’. So, um, I slid down to where he was sitting -working, more like it, ‘cause he, uh, he runs the, uh, uh, the uh, scoreboard at many games, and this was one of them. Bozotop- eight years. He’s fine. Still with the paralyzed arm, still w/ the, uh, kinda thought processes that….well….. it was good to see him.

New Hilts Express: You sat with him while he worked?

Hilts:Yes. Second half. Kinda uncomfortable, sitting.... (Hilts crouches in demonstration) but also it’s, ah, nice to , well, sit there as the players come in, watch the coaches yell at the refs, all that …… part of the game, almost like seeming. But yeah, uncomfortable sittin’.

New Hilts Express: You are famous for going out on Fridays for a few in one of the Irish taverns in Mt. Greenwood or Beverly to start to start your weekend. The gossip papers often have stories and pictures of your escapades at places like Lanigans or Keegans, you shamelessly out of control. Tell us: did you have any of your famous “Two/Thirds” Guiness/Cider’s this weekend?

Hilts: No.

New Hilts Express: You stayed in?

Hilts:Well, uh, basically, uh, (shrugs) yeah.

New Hilts Express: Where was Gf?

Hilts: Sick all weekend. She was to go to the game Friday as well, but was too sick. (Shaking head) I was pretty disappointed. Poor women though, innit - her man tekkin’ her tah a high school basketball game onna Friday night.

New Hilts Express: Did you see her at all?

Hilts:Yah, yeah, of course. I, uh, was, uh, was at her place before the game. It started at eight, so I went to her place after school. We took a light dinner, then ate tea before leaving. She’vs fine. She’s been bugged up fer a bit, y’know.

New Hilts Express: Saturday night, as we know from the society papers, you were @ a birthday party in the fashionable Mt. Greenwood Homan Street area. There were many actors and actresses you have worked with before there - Mom, Bolo, Neice.4 and Neice.5: with so much start power, what are these parties like?

Hilts: Uh, yeah yeah. Lots of people. But, you know, those Homan parties....just, uh, a lot of love. feels like family. And wilde: running around, screaming, barking, laughter..... It was a party for, uh, it was for, ...it was a birthday party for Nephew.3. Nice - we had cake, and we ate it too. I must amidt that after they all left the Homan area, i did go out for a long drive, lookin' for, well, I guess I went a little Ahab. But, yeah, lots of people I've , uh, worked with before.

New Hilts Express: And people you are working with presently. Mom was there- is she in the new film?

Hilts: Well, yeah. Her character was such a big hit in the first film, worldwide marketing virtually , like, you know, demanded her reprise. She's good. Bolo, yeah, yeah, he can be a pain, all th fuckin' yapping and jabbering and always wanting to just, like, drop in yer lap.....kin be, uuh, fucking irritantin........ but, uh, his parts are to be filmed this weekend, and uh, it's a good art. the scenes between, uh, these two - Mom and Bolo -should carry the film to the younger crowd. Really. Who wants to fookin see me or, uh, Chemical Man? The kids - and these are the ones who watch the film again and again, know what I mean - want to see Mom or Bolo or whoever the fuck have you. I'm an add on. Really.

New Hilts Express: And the Priest?

Hilts: Well, yeah yeah, of course. Favoured character o mine. They wrote him in again. Expand the role, made it a little bit, ah, more, um, triumphal, or something.

At that moment, Hilts had to excuse himself to answer a phone call. Whoever was on the phone certainly caught his attention - Hilts hurriedly ran to put on his coat and, said that we would have to continue our interview sometime later. Although it was a pleasant chat, I'd wished i'd been able to talk for a longer bit. However, we will have to let Hilts latest film do the talking. Due to be released this Tuesday morning to a worldwide audience, "dcs selection show 2008" - along w/ a hit song by Processed to be released simultaneously - should .................. gently allow me to end this faux interview since it has run out of gas anyway. Farts.