written by lazers
names edited by hilts
It was one of those nights for which I thought Benkowski would have to split J&B into two teams just so there would be two teams to play trivia. I can only assume the regular TC Pub crowd was still nursing its hangovers after a rowdy night of watching game one of the World Series the night before. Or not. Nevertheless, Benkowski managed to scrounge together four teams to start trivia. By the start of the second half, we were up to five.
J&B represented by: Chemical Man, Stix, Vaughn and Lazers
The competition: Bar, Irish, Seventeen and, added at the half, Fab Five
Championship rules with each team allowed 3 throws and 1 Hangman. Unannounced, the Hangman option became “Lady’s Choice” instead.
First Half: Sports/90s TV/Name the Megahit Artist
For the music category, teams had the option to sing 10 seconds of the song instead.
‘86- sang “View to a Kill”?
’81- sang “Don’t Stop Believin’”?
Last year the Bears played in the NFL West?
’81- this NFC team won its division with a 9-7 record?
Number of Gold Gloves won by Ozzie Guillen?
1970s- sang “Vehicle”?
On “King of Queens”- Doug and Carrie’s last name?
’93 White Sox primary RF?
’85 Bears won their division- which teams won the other two NFC divisions?
’82 Cubs manager?
Year Darryl Sutter was drafted by the Blackhawks?
1998-99 TV season- top 3 rated shows (1 drama, 2 sitcoms)?
“Lady’s Choice” sees Irish challenging J&B to a drinking contest with water. The Irish girl (there were two of them- they could create a formidable tag-team) quickly finishes her water and puts her cup in Benkowski’s hand. Vaughn, oblivious to the fact that the other girl had already won the contest, continues to down her water for another several seconds with an intense expression on her face. She finishes then nearly chokes on the last drops as she laughingly realizes the contest was long over.
Vaughn makes up for the humiliating “drink faster” result by defeating the Bar in a “Roll the Ball” challenge.
Scores at the half: J&B 1690 Bar 870 Seventeen 720 Irish 570
Second half: 80s Music/Ditka Era Bears/90s Emmy Awards
Soon, the “90s Emmy Awards” category was renamed “Mostly Emmy’s”
Only Bear to lead the team in catches 3 times in the Ditka era?
80s- solo artist sang “Oh Sherrie”?
The 2 Bears to lead the team in punt returns 3 times each in the Ditka era?
80s- sang “All I Need Is A Miracle”?
Who hired Mike Ditka to coach the Bears?
For that last question, Seventeen had control. Their main guy (or should I say kid?) mumbled an answer (I think he was hoping his mumble was close enough to be accepted as “McCaskey”). Benkowski seeks clarification. The Seventeen kid answers “yo momma”. Benkowski: “I should subtract points. Wow- some pointless anger.”
In Vaughn’s third “Ladies Only” challenge of the night, she faces the new Fab Five in a “Long Distance Throw” contest. While Meat Loaf may think that “two out of three ain’t bad”, J&B thinks one out of three sucks. Fab Five wins.
Fab Five was a rather vocal team. Benkowski: “A rare night when the Bar isn’t the loudest team.” What? Hilts misses a couple of trivia nights and he is completely forgotten?
Fab Five “Lady’s Choice” against the Bar- largest chest. Or, as summed up by one of their vocal members: “Tit size”. Benkowski spends a few seconds analyzing the chests then decides to ask each gal their respective bra size. The Fab Five gal (who would have fit in nicely with Irish) defeats Theresa. For future reference, Theresa is 38D.
Scores after two halves: J&B 2440 Bar 2170 Irish 1330 Seventeen 940 Fab 720
Choice of Final Category: 80s Entertainment, Chicago Locations, Current Chicago Bulls, or 2008 Tampa Bay Rays.
J&B is tempted by the Rays, skeptical of Locations without Pat, and wary that “Entertainment” really means “Obscure Benkowski Stories”. J&B selects 80s Entertainment and wagers the classic (1901).
Nobody selects the Bulls or Rays questions.
80s Entertainment:
On “Dallas” she played the one who shot J.R.?
2-word title- movie about softball players that featured much female nudity?
WGN radio guy who squealed to CBS radio about Benkowski, costing him a part-time job?
Locations:
6200 W 63rd- what town?
Jackson and Oak Park Avenue- what town?
7600 W Touhy- what town?
Home players?
J&B represented by: Chemical Man, Stix, Vaughn and Lazers
The competition: Bar, Irish, Seventeen and, added at the half, Fab Five
Championship rules with each team allowed 3 throws and 1 Hangman. Unannounced, the Hangman option became “Lady’s Choice” instead.
First Half: Sports/90s TV/Name the Megahit Artist
For the music category, teams had the option to sing 10 seconds of the song instead.
‘86- sang “View to a Kill”?
’81- sang “Don’t Stop Believin’”?
Last year the Bears played in the NFL West?
’81- this NFC team won its division with a 9-7 record?
Number of Gold Gloves won by Ozzie Guillen?
1970s- sang “Vehicle”?
On “King of Queens”- Doug and Carrie’s last name?
’93 White Sox primary RF?
’85 Bears won their division- which teams won the other two NFC divisions?
’82 Cubs manager?
Year Darryl Sutter was drafted by the Blackhawks?
1998-99 TV season- top 3 rated shows (1 drama, 2 sitcoms)?
“Lady’s Choice” sees Irish challenging J&B to a drinking contest with water. The Irish girl (there were two of them- they could create a formidable tag-team) quickly finishes her water and puts her cup in Benkowski’s hand. Vaughn, oblivious to the fact that the other girl had already won the contest, continues to down her water for another several seconds with an intense expression on her face. She finishes then nearly chokes on the last drops as she laughingly realizes the contest was long over.
Vaughn makes up for the humiliating “drink faster” result by defeating the Bar in a “Roll the Ball” challenge.
Scores at the half: J&B 1690 Bar 870 Seventeen 720 Irish 570
Second half: 80s Music/Ditka Era Bears/90s Emmy Awards
Soon, the “90s Emmy Awards” category was renamed “Mostly Emmy’s”
Only Bear to lead the team in catches 3 times in the Ditka era?
80s- solo artist sang “Oh Sherrie”?
The 2 Bears to lead the team in punt returns 3 times each in the Ditka era?
80s- sang “All I Need Is A Miracle”?
Who hired Mike Ditka to coach the Bears?
For that last question, Seventeen had control. Their main guy (or should I say kid?) mumbled an answer (I think he was hoping his mumble was close enough to be accepted as “McCaskey”). Benkowski seeks clarification. The Seventeen kid answers “yo momma”. Benkowski: “I should subtract points. Wow- some pointless anger.”
In Vaughn’s third “Ladies Only” challenge of the night, she faces the new Fab Five in a “Long Distance Throw” contest. While Meat Loaf may think that “two out of three ain’t bad”, J&B thinks one out of three sucks. Fab Five wins.
Fab Five was a rather vocal team. Benkowski: “A rare night when the Bar isn’t the loudest team.” What? Hilts misses a couple of trivia nights and he is completely forgotten?
Fab Five “Lady’s Choice” against the Bar- largest chest. Or, as summed up by one of their vocal members: “Tit size”. Benkowski spends a few seconds analyzing the chests then decides to ask each gal their respective bra size. The Fab Five gal (who would have fit in nicely with Irish) defeats Theresa. For future reference, Theresa is 38D.
Scores after two halves: J&B 2440 Bar 2170 Irish 1330 Seventeen 940 Fab 720
Choice of Final Category: 80s Entertainment, Chicago Locations, Current Chicago Bulls, or 2008 Tampa Bay Rays.
J&B is tempted by the Rays, skeptical of Locations without Pat, and wary that “Entertainment” really means “Obscure Benkowski Stories”. J&B selects 80s Entertainment and wagers the classic (1901).
Nobody selects the Bulls or Rays questions.
80s Entertainment:
On “Dallas” she played the one who shot J.R.?
2-word title- movie about softball players that featured much female nudity?
WGN radio guy who squealed to CBS radio about Benkowski, costing him a part-time job?
Locations:
6200 W 63rd- what town?
Jackson and Oak Park Avenue- what town?
7600 W Touhy- what town?
Home players?
Part II
J&B guesses Mary Crosby, Stealing Home, and Chuck Swirsky. The team is certain only about its first answer.
First half answers:
Duran Duran
Journey
1966
Tampa Bay
1 Gold Glove
Ides of March
Hefernan
Ellis Burks
LA Rams and Dallas Cowboys
Lee Elia
1978
ER, Friends and Frasier
Second half answers:
Walter Payton
Steve Perry
Dennis McKinnon and Jeff Fisher
Mike and the Mechanics
George Halas
Final Question:
Fab Five- 720- Locations- guesses Bedford Park (no), Oak Park (yes), and Des Plaines (no)- wagered 719- left with only 1.
Seventeen- 940- Locations- guesses Summit (no), Oak Park (yes), and Chicago (yes)- wagered 940- up to 1880.
Irish- 1330- Entertainment- guesses Sue Ellen (no), Porky’s Revenge (no), and Harry Caray (no)- wagered it all- thanks for playing.
Bar- 2170- Entertainment- guesses Victoria Principal (no), Naked Softball (no), and Rich King (no)- wagered it all- thanks for playing.
J&B will need to win its wager to enjoy victory tonight.
J&B- 2440- Entertainment- guesses Mary Crosby (yes), Stealing Home (no), and Chuck Swirsky (no)- wagered 1901- left with 539.
Tonight’s champion: Seventeen. That’s right- Seventeen. The team that guessed “Cheers” for every single Emmy question, even those looking for a drama, won the trivia competition. Somewhere in Las Vegas, some Sportsbook just took a beating on long-shot bets.
Entertainment answers: Mary Crosby, Squeeze Play, and Dave Ennitt.
Location answers: Chicago, Oak Park, and Chicago.
So, what did squealer Ennitt snitch about to get Benkowski fired? At the time, Benkowski was involved in management at Sportsphone. He hated this position- he much preferred to be out at the ballparks. So Benkowski is in his Sportsphone office while he also is supposed to be providing live updates from a Cubs game. He turned the radio on loudly in the background for his CBS updates so that it would sound like he was at the game. Then Dave Ennitt sold him out. If Ennitt ever turns up with his tongue cut out, now we know why.
As for “Squeeze Play” (1980)- A male softball team is challenged by a female softball team to see who is best.
I do not recognize a single name from the cast, although I know of director Lloyd Kaufman as the man who later directed “The Toxic Avenger”. Perhaps the movie is best summed up by this line from the one and only reader comment on IMDb: Obviously this movie sounds a bit tired, but the scene where the guy catches the ball with his butt is hysterical, and the surprise ending when the girls aren't even annoyed seems a bit unrealistic, but who cares?
Damn- I would have hoped for a realistic ending for a movie during which a guy catches a ball with his butt.
Next trivia night in two weeks: Thursday, November 6th. Early indications are that Lazers is “in”.
J'aime faire que le sexe
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