Mother and Lover

Lover was @ my house every day for the first two years of our relationship. She had the car, I was coaching, and she really really really wanted to see me.....really wanted to see me..... She came over, maybe 95% of the time. Even if Iw as gettin' home @ 9.15 - which happened a lot - and I had to get up the next morning @ 5.20 - which happen a lot - she'd be over. Mom loves her, and they get along real well.

But things are now diff. I have a car. It's always been very hard for me to see anyone - even myself in the mirror -every single day (I know, I want children, but I will rubicon that ...). I will totally amidt that it almost completely burned me out - for several years, It seemed that i never had any time to myself - and believe me, I can go months w/out talking ot another soiul. I'm very outgoing, and I am very NOT outgoing. Context.

But back to Gf. Now she never comes over. Never. She wanted to make a point about me being on vacation summer and that I should be the one coming over. I believe that she is correct. I feel I'm a very lazy boyfriend, and she has every right to complain.

However, I wanted to focus on my Mom and Gf in this post. Mom feels really bad that Gf never comes over anymore - she really missees her and thinks that she stays away from the house because of some beef w/ anyone other than myself. Someone in the family, maybe. Suxx, for several reasons. Both she and Mom are not happy about the situation. My past laziness has really fucked up things. And now I feel I have to choose between the two - Gf, who desperately needs me, and Mom, who also despersately needs me. It's crazy to choose, but didn't Jesus tell us something about leaving home when one marries, or something.... An example of this new world order, and my deeply confusing position in it.

Watched , finally, "Perfect Storm" last nite. I had it on DVD from CPL, and I wanted to watch it w/ Mom. Mom is from a family of fisherman, and she married a fisherman. My family in Ireland all loved it: My uncle Gerry took a special trip to the mainland (they are islanders there, mainly) when it came out to see, and my cousin in Belcoo also talked long and hard about it. It was sorta like a Band of Brothers type thing to them to me- they knew all the industry, so they loved all the fishing things in it. So, I wanted to watch it w/ Mom.

But I felt that it would be like cheating if I watched a film not w/ Gf. Really. It just seems that yr supposed to watch films w/ yr girl. The last solo films I saw were in 2005 when we just started dating. No longer do I see films lonesome.

So, on a nite Gf and I had no plans, I decided to finally watch it w/ Mom. And Gf called, and I actually LIED TO HER and told her Mom and I were just flipping around channels because the Sox game was on the radio. It's a confusing situation in which I really have no clue....