22 September, 2009

i've got nothing to say except good day

Well, it actually seems that I will get paid for my work so far. CPS now allows its peoples to look online @ their upcoming checks, and guess what - its only sub pay, but its pay. Hallaluegh. And more money news - seesm that in Febuary I was skipped for a check - more money!! What Im getting now is a pittance as to what ill get (no, not rich, but an acceptable level of compensation), but its comforting knowing that I am to be paid.

Im still not licenced to be the librarian - another 6 weeks before I make the actual hard cash - but I wil say this now - I love being here. @ times I feel deeply out of my depth, but after 2.5 weeks, that feeling of excitement (The Kids!!) hits me each time I get close to school. Good sign. I used to dread entering schools in my early days, silently repeating to myself Henry V's "Once more into the breach". And yes, I'd repeat it every day.

But what a wilde place. Kids yelling "fuck you" to teachers. Kids fighting. Cursing. Very different environment that, say my last school. There a kid swears @ a teacher? Damn, security exits the kid rite away. here? The kid will just swear @ you again. But, the deal is, I knew it would be like this. It's a behaviour disorder school - what else kinda kid is here? So, Im determined to do the good work, and I recognize in myself: that I have to get better.

Rite now Im reading to the kids. There are 10 classes, four of them 1st grade reading levels and six from 5-8th reading levels. Rite now its all the same book - The Adventures of Hugo Cabret. I chose it because I wanted the same book for all the kids, and this book is very graphic - as in, pictures tell the story interspersed w. text. @ pages of text, and then 4-5 pages of graphics. This way, the kids will not get too bored listening to me and they get to interpret the pictures their own way. Pretty much they all dig the book - except ......

.... the except is the "X" factor here - lots of these kids are so unstable, they change form day to day. Deep drastic changes. One of my favourite kids today went fucking wilde. He was threatenin gme, hitting the book out of my hand and telling me to leave, swearing @ me, etc etc etc (all in a days work, btw). The police had to come and get him twice - he went wilde @ lunch running around going crazy.

Word around is that he was smoking something before school. What? Pot aint gonna get the kid where he was. I can only guess wiki, huh? And tomorrow he'll be fine.

I repeat, or, maybe, I state. I love beiing here. o much angst when that old school I used to teach @ didnt hire me full time? Fuck it - i turely feel bad for that school - word is out that the dude they hired instead of me .... well, bad call. That's way behind me now - except when a person from that school comes and I'll bring up the "Three and a half years and they bring in some outsider". Hm. Maybe Im not over it 100%. But .. .well, i think I actually am. Oh well, whatever, nevermind....

But here - im needed. And I like that.