what you need

In landspeedrecordtime, my state teaching credintials were approved. All on the computer. Hit the various return buttons the variously required amount of times, and now: my final two steps to get the heavy pay is to go to the HR place on the West Side, register my documenst w. CPS (and 2 proper ID's), then hit the Loop to register for health insurance. Very good.

Had gone on the computer wanting to check that my documents were approved - and they were. Id really thought that it owuld take 2m - but 2w is sweet. However, since I havent 2 pictures ids to do it today (A deeply good day to register w. CPS), I have to wait until Monday.

Monday is hard as well. The varsity are travelling to play a north suburban team, and I always loved making this trip on the bus w. the team. I was gonna ask one of the coaches to take over practice for me - now Im gonna have to ask that to register . It's ok. It'll get done.

blanco

i've got nothing to say except good day

Well, it actually seems that I will get paid for my work so far. CPS now allows its peoples to look online @ their upcoming checks, and guess what - its only sub pay, but its pay. Hallaluegh. And more money news - seesm that in Febuary I was skipped for a check - more money!! What Im getting now is a pittance as to what ill get (no, not rich, but an acceptable level of compensation), but its comforting knowing that I am to be paid.

Im still not licenced to be the librarian - another 6 weeks before I make the actual hard cash - but I wil say this now - I love being here. @ times I feel deeply out of my depth, but after 2.5 weeks, that feeling of excitement (The Kids!!) hits me each time I get close to school. Good sign. I used to dread entering schools in my early days, silently repeating to myself Henry V's "Once more into the breach". And yes, I'd repeat it every day.

But what a wilde place. Kids yelling "fuck you" to teachers. Kids fighting. Cursing. Very different environment that, say my last school. There a kid swears @ a teacher? Damn, security exits the kid rite away. here? The kid will just swear @ you again. But, the deal is, I knew it would be like this. It's a behaviour disorder school - what else kinda kid is here? So, Im determined to do the good work, and I recognize in myself: that I have to get better.

Rite now Im reading to the kids. There are 10 classes, four of them 1st grade reading levels and six from 5-8th reading levels. Rite now its all the same book - The Adventures of Hugo Cabret. I chose it because I wanted the same book for all the kids, and this book is very graphic - as in, pictures tell the story interspersed w. text. @ pages of text, and then 4-5 pages of graphics. This way, the kids will not get too bored listening to me and they get to interpret the pictures their own way. Pretty much they all dig the book - except ......

.... the except is the "X" factor here - lots of these kids are so unstable, they change form day to day. Deep drastic changes. One of my favourite kids today went fucking wilde. He was threatenin gme, hitting the book out of my hand and telling me to leave, swearing @ me, etc etc etc (all in a days work, btw). The police had to come and get him twice - he went wilde @ lunch running around going crazy.

Word around is that he was smoking something before school. What? Pot aint gonna get the kid where he was. I can only guess wiki, huh? And tomorrow he'll be fine.

I repeat, or, maybe, I state. I love beiing here. o much angst when that old school I used to teach @ didnt hire me full time? Fuck it - i turely feel bad for that school - word is out that the dude they hired instead of me .... well, bad call. That's way behind me now - except when a person from that school comes and I'll bring up the "Three and a half years and they bring in some outsider". Hm. Maybe Im not over it 100%. But .. .well, i think I actually am. Oh well, whatever, nevermind....

But here - im needed. And I like that.

the seagulls

damage

Car accident. Finally, I guess had to happen. Glancing blow on a stop signed car on the wet pavement of Sunday after the Fire game. Not too much damage on the other car - but im sure it will cost me heavy: scratched fender and one of those sideline things out of the side. Strasser was uglied: drivers side lite out and fender cut and powed for the worse. It's all fixable - and the melange of repaired sections is ok - especially since I treat my cars like the Japanease soldiers treated their personal appearance in WW2: scruffy and unwashed and proud. I'll go cheap - but it'll still be a few hundred.

Fuck.

gf this song reminds me of of course

That ride home from gallos some several years/many sundays ago, w/ Gf next to me, this song comes on, and Id realised how much deep trouble I was in - the connexion between us was real, deep, and strong, and i was afraid of things going wrong and both of us being hurt.

I never told her how much this song tuggs @ me about when its on - and how much it reminds me of her - or whatevr.

the change has come

finally, after dithering about it for 2m, i made it official: I accepted the coaching position @ Nek and left Ruc HS (always know up to now in secuityout as Hilts High School - no more).. Girls season in the spring is still open - i may very well go back in the spring and do the girls team there. But for now ....

To-morrow, for the first time in forever it seems, i hold practice. This aturday is the first game (Truth be told, the team has already played - they played Ruc when I was coaching there last month - but it'll be my first game...)

Walking the halls of my old school, still feel like im a teacher there, ran into soe of the other coaches. told them that 'today is the day of my leaving' and it was good to feel their love and sorrow that I was leaviing. Such a great staff @ the old school as well. I will miss them.

But, I'm @ my own school now, and Im coachin my own socer team now - so far from where I thought i would be just 2m ago - but, well, I'm very happy. There's no question. Summer was so down, and now answers to many questions have been answered.

And I miss Gf a lot. I just wish ......

U2

Lost thousands/ Friday pt.1/3

So, most likely, i HOPE i can work as a sub for the two fucking months it takes to get my licence back in order. If, that is, my sub licence is also tied to my two professional licences. Then I'm unemployed for 2-3m. If that happens, I literally have burnt upwards of $10,000 or whatever(not to mention being w/out health insurance for several months - could be covered rite now). reminds m of Ed SS's classic line upon leaving a shitty ass movie w'd tarveled all the way up to the North side to see: "Next time ill just let my $5 fly out the car window".. Ashes of dollars bills. I like to think of myself as penny and pound wise - but Im totally The Fool on both accounts.

I thought my licence was good for 5 years upon renewal when I got that shit done in 2005. But there is some funky "fiscal year" crap type of thing which I got fucked on ; since I got it renewed 2weeks befor some fiscal year uber date, my licence expired @ the end of July. I ws slack on pressing my new school for documents, and I didnt find this out until Thursday. Friday my 'looking about' for different possibilities expired all hope of wriggle room.

My bad tempers (as in tantrum) have been returning. This was a difficult thing to take. Again, totally my own fault - I shoulda checked up on the shit when I got hired 100%, fuck any 'fiscal year' type excuse from me. My options are two: work as a sub for 2-3m and lose $5000 or whatever - or not be allowed to work @ all, and lose $10000 -terrible realization.

Im so fucking deeply incompetant, in so many areas.

Friday pt. 2/3

Again the idea of joining my old schools staff for soccer returned Friday. The team i help (see- my term is 'help') had no practice, and when my visit to Elisebeth St. (CPS human resources place) to have my hopes crushed ended, I headed out my way to see the school play. Good game - Nek varity won 3-1 on lush grassy fields and under blue suburban skies with the kids in great spirit. The JV played their game @ the same time on the field next to the varsity game. In city play, JV always play rite after the varsity game, so we have to wait for 2 whole games during the week a lot. So games like tonites -having both games @ the same time -are nice.

I will say it now - I want to jump team and help out this school gain. In every way I really should i'll get paid a bit if I do($1000 or so in my very junior coaching position) instead of volunteering. And finally I think i will. Season for freshman league hasn't started yet (always delay a few weeks for new hs students), so I wont be criminally late in joining. We'll see, though - I have to difficultly ask off the other team. And then Im gonna have to expect a whole lotta more workload vis a vis coaching w/ Nek - its a much higher level of professinalism than the school I help out @ now. A lot more work - rite when Im starting a new teaching position. I kow im gonna have to give it my all for teaching - and heres a tite soccer program expectations Ill have to match. Beating to windward times ahead, thinks-i.

A People's History of the Danse Floor: House Parties, 1980-2009, Part 9: Danse! / Friday, pt. 3/3.

So Crankface and Patience had to great idea to actually throw a danse party. Yes, Shipley, it was @ Blackies - but not Lousiville's Own Blackie - it as the South Loop place where they'd rented a party room. I was in the dual throw's of having the money situationon my mind this friday and - the car situation. Suddenly, the horns starts going of and i have to punch it to make it stop. These dual situations - plus my ever present laziness and fear - tried its best to scuttle me getting to the loop for the party. Really - a nite ive been looking forward to was almost spent by me sitting in my room all nite. Again, really: that 'anti-public' option was considered, but it never actually got that close However, its close cousin, the 2h late arrival, was taken. The latness, the latenness, and the revrses earlier in the day lead to a shitty driving experience all the way to the loop. Quite breathless when I finally arrived. Two hours late.

So, sat there I, out of place amidst 50 of my frenz, a rock for awhile. People would talk to me - that was good, I dont remember. Lots of people - the 50 I knew plus the strangers to me strewn about the place. Good music, good people, and I eventually warmed up. All of these people are safe situations for me, so it was easy enough to calm down. Usually I have Gf to icebreak for me and I can go silent - but she wasn't there.

Tonnes were there. Frenz of both came to celebrate the 40th Bdays of them. Gooden. The place was filled. I didnt take fotos except for 2 @ the end - but Im sure Rocky and Homes and Processed and Liz Bustamante will all have snaps up @ soe time. Who was there? Again, the 50. Some were missing - Curtis, Shoey. But there were also lots of strangers. Patience teachs @ some hi flauting north shore grammer school - very kool - but whats kooler aere the sexpots she works w. Kooler than kool, as they were bouncy and fun. And they liked to danse. And there were two in particular - very sexy young women, both. They kinda resembled each other, a little - similarly look, dress, etc.. Eventually thse two - the belles of the ball, i called them - dansed away the latter part of the nite. They were having so much fun it seemed that they were trying to outdo the other one - trying to settle for sure who was The Belle. Me? Well ... tie.

And the dansing. What a brilliant idea*. Just rent a place. Cash bar. Evryone relaxing and chilling. I got there late 2h in. Glad I went, although I had to drag myself there. Some people would go out, but it wasnt until the young teachers of Patience school stayed out there would the floor stay out there. As always, women's gotta have it. in my mind, whatver these girls wanted, play it for'm. they were pretty mallable - young, but they dansed to the older stuff, happy. And their energy attracted others to the floor the whole time. Woman's gotta have it.

The oldsters also dansed. What was that couples song? All of a sudden, there were 7-8 couples** down. It just took me so long to get going. But the last hour was a good by me dansing and not just watching. I got dragged out and eventually loosened up. Fine. Eventually, there were some grooves to feel, and I ended the nite very ad it had to end. Sad. And, sad I 'd been late 2h. Typical me. Buning thousands of dollars and time away from my life.

I also wished I'd dj'd it. At the end of the nite it started to fall apart. Drunken ipod handlers*** stopped songs in the middle of them. Made me wish some one else has the idea as well and maybe I can muscle my way in.

So - despite the disasters of the days previous and that day, I'd ended the nite not by sending out detachments to try to trap prisoners so to gain secret knowledge of the enemies whereabouts in order to launch an attack - a limited attack - but instead repaired to the fall back position and relaxed.

*=previous editions can be follwed w. a bit of difficulty through this last one.
**=No, not 15.
***=maybe me being one of them

least

At last its taken 7 days into the school yar to discover that my teaching licence has expired. Last time this hapened, fall 2004, was a crushing time - especially since i couldnt work for many months.

Gunners wedding, then the renewal, led me into 2005 which was great.

But now, i look @ going into the principals office o-morow and say "...um, my....licence ... expired...."

Im a bloody fucking dead man i am. And facing months of no work after months of no work. unless strings can be pulled.

But, all in all, im a real dead man. I like the school a lot. And now, to possibly lose the position in this fashion.

-Is he lucky? Napoleon ask'd?

-No.

my first day of school

Went ok, overall. In the evening, an hour ago, i was feeling excitined about the next day. So differnt, so much new stuff I have to master. I had three classes to cover - I know, petty lite day - and on of those was stakn up by the dreaded Indoctrination speach by the President. But it was nerve wracking all the same.

So different than at my last school. Such a giant of a place - and here its just a few. But the staff are good, it seems (from the performance today) and they are all easy to get along with. There were so many places to hid from people you dont like - none here. a hamlet this place be, not the sprawling city left by me. But, chief lesson's from GF (relax) and my favourite coaching colleuge (it's your first year) sound through me though they were advices from different times for differnt problems.

But still Im a bit lost, unsure of my way, and not all too confident. But I'm willing to work @ it, actually. to-morrow is another day.

from saro

w.b.b.

no kids yet /

Again, such a small school. So small compared to the empire I left. 54 kids, generally 5 a class. In some larger classes 2 the old school (chorus, fex) there were 100 kids or so in the classroom.

But no kids yet. Teacher meetings. By now, I know the excellent ones and the complainers; the eager new teachers (me, one of them) and the teacher assistants who have been there for many years. By today, its apparent there are a lot of teachers who are really good here - its a different sorta school(for behaviour kids) and some of the teachers are evidentily just drawn to working w. these kids. Two are apparent - the principal allowed them to make a purchase from a vendor and it was kool to see them decide what to do and so quick. I shoulda realised, but when you are in yr own sorta world (hs library for 5y) y forget facets of the others. It's kool these two teachers are really good - they'll give me strength. I will be sitting near them to- morrow.

Im in good spirits. The job ahead of me will be supreme. But Im ready prepared for it.

But yes - that's easy to write now - wait till the kids come on Monday. That's actually when it starts.




Again, its gonna be a brand new experiece.

first day of school / lucky / again

Back in, on planet Mars now especially (that one time crankfacedeadboyrobandI)
this different place, such a different atmosphere, differnt people. I was in a school of close to 4000 w. 240 tachers - this school has like 54 kids and maybe 15-7 teachers. Mars, man. Mars.

But there's more. Fully rejected by my last school - fucks - there is the shockingly undenialable fact that when I look down on my feet, there are again - again! - the leather cavalry boots of Ney. Distant objects? I peer through the telescope of Nelson-again. For the fifth time - the fifth fucking time - I have been officered w. the charge of 'leading a lot of men in a desperate battle'. The four previous times (really three - for some reason I count my experiences not being hired in the old school as a failure akin to my three crazy Grand Failures) I have foundred - twice my fault, twice life unkind. And now, like its all really been made new. All the terrible decsisons and habits and results and efforts - all that - is once again washed away, and I have a -what was that vanilla sky line? - a chance to ..... wait, what was that other line from magnolias ..... oh yes, use the regret. So, anewed, bornagain (what was that one line from that one loyola literay magazine from 1992), and etc.

What Napoleon asked of new officers brought before him was "Is he Lucky?", which was taken as "If he gets a break, will he take advantage of it?" This is the fourth true full 'break' I have gotten - so far from where I had pplanned to be - but for fucks sake, it's goddamn Marshal Neys boots that I once again wear ...again.

bill

blackshaft/ best

here is blackshaft at his best

i c. guarentee s. never knew. it w. o. s.

Cubbage

A Police Officers, a Doctor, and a Grammer School Librarians walked into the Cubs game Monday nite and .....

the fall of the barbican

End of the summer, end of part of the housing complex here - our garage, extant on the property when the house was built in 1991, was finally torn down on Monday. Needed to be - listing to the north, holed and wasp-homed, broken floor that flooded or froze depending on season, inoperative large door and rotting and unable to lock side door, overrun by dust and dirt and time. TheStrasser hasn't been moored inside it more than, say, twice - and only on extended overseas missions by me. Not only physically needed - Mom saw it as a nice way to bring up the property of the house.

I agreed - time passed and i's actually exciting that we'll have anew garage. But, that ramshackle shack still teemed w. irreplaceable memories. 18 years it's been here - no wonder why even Q came up in my rambling thoughts these bunkerdays for the garage. Madonna. Especially Afrika Korps - months after she broke my heart, she got a slow leak in her tyre and she asked me to change it after class. It was cold out, so we went into the garage - I was happy in my deeply sad way because i was actually able to do it; and she gave me a heartfelt hug of thanks after. sad pathetic me.

But mainly it reminded me of Dad. He only lived two years in this house - but it was he who set most stuff up. He decided, for example, to not build a new garage with the house and instead rehab the old one; he painted it (I painted the garage in about 2003 - it's last paint job) and reshingled the roof. He stored lots of bits and pieces of tools and boards and fences and horses and nails and etc ... He also set up the benches, storage areas, ladder areas, etc... And I will tell you the truth - unlike my Dad, I am not a very handy man. Sure, I can shingle a roof and build a bookcase - but the many posts and boards and angles and tools and etc that Dad left behind in the garage when he died were largely left untouched since the last time he touched them. So, for me, it was a hard to shift away what he had placed so many years before.

I had a major job to clear away a lot of the shit that was in the garage. Of course, dad had tonnes of stuff: heavy tools, pick axes, hatchets, saws, hammers, screws, nails, locks, ladders, braces, hoses, horses, etc etc etc... lotsa weight.

But even more so, there was the worst of my packratism exposed to the elements finally. I've saved so much shit over the years - literally, every Soccer America from 1984 (50 issues a year), Rolling Stones, books from my grammer school years that were put out there to save the crowding in the house, university notes from four different institutions of higher learning, Sports Illustrateds celebrating the Super Bears, the '83 Sox, and the 1980 USA Hockey Team, garden fencing, etc etc etc ...

Jacob had crashed over Saturday nite was enlisted in degarbaging the garage Sunday morning w. my bro.in.law. We effectively cleared the place in a few hours - throwing out lots, but not all - or even most. Collapsed, we did, relentlessly, but eventually did it all except for my magazines - exhaustion finally opened me up tot h possibility that I could sacrifice them. but the next morning, before the demolition crew finally came on, I scurried about trying to salvage my Soccer America collection - and the Rolling Stones long enough to confiscate the covers for Neice.1 . Done.

And then the wreckers came on. Jacob crashed over for a second nite, and w. Mom we watched the five man crew descend upon the garage and break it apart bit by bit until there was only a clay-ey patch of dirt where there had been a building. GONE. All gone. The yard - now exposed to the alley and people walking by - was a junkyard looking place sloppied w. the disgorged contents hurriedly rushed into the yard before the wrecker came. Worried a bit that someone mite swipe Dads axe or whatever.

They now need to pour in a new floor and start the new building. It's sad to lose a 'place' - memories - but still the new garage is looked forward to. Can't wait. Really. The new building will be clean, less cluttered, more orderly, and not justa place to store the Strasser. I imagine I will use it as a sorta hangout place - I'ts pretty common for people to open up the big door in the summer and watch the game, drink a breww, and dradle some cacklers, c'mon. I believe this place - The Zepplin Hanger - will also fill this role.

And - a small little snippet of redemption, looking back, but untimately looking forward. In the height of Afrika korps girl period, I somehow managed to lose my krypotimite lock's key on the street near Empty Bottle on a concert nite. I had the habit of locking my bike in the garage, so there the bike remained - 7 years - until Sunday. when my neighbour tried to break it w. a giant lock cutter - failed - but that lead to a determined broinlaw who returned w. a 'circulersaw'. This was the tick. We stuck it next to the lock, applied justa bit of pressure - and 5m of application - it SNAPPED! Stunner, especially after the period of fallow it follwed. So - soon - I can finally use my bike to good regard again.