greens

splatterzaks
caught for jaxx

fed into the maw

eaten r'upp
Stylie's sup

ripping red the raw

The Return of Kearney Meats

Written by Lazers

names edited by Hilts

It was the Thursday before a holiday weekend. The Bears were playing (even if just an exhibition game). The weather was nice. I figured we might be in for a good crowd at TC Pub last night. Wrong. The crowd was light, but it sure got rowdy.

Benkowski announces that trivia will not start until the Bears’ game has ended. An older guy comes around trying to sell squares. Selling squares for an exhibition football game- I found that sad. J&B passes on its chance to invest $6 to win $10.

J&B represented by: Chemical Man, Stix, Night Nurse, Hilts, Dragon, Gf, Jacob, and Nixon.

The competition: Morning Wood, Comfortably Dumb, and the full strength Bar

Tonight is a continuation of the “one correct answer per team” rule. Apparently, that is called “Championship format”. Since the video camera guy is here to tape for Benkowski’s show, tricks are limited only to throws until the camera work ends. Afterwards, Hangman and Ladies Choice tricks will be available.

First Half: Music Mix/Sports/Mish Mash

Wore #29 for the 1985 Bears?
1970s- 5-word group sang “Funky Nassau”?
Two artists in the 70s to cover “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother”?
Of the top 3 RBI seasons by a White Sox OF, this player has 2 of them?
Bulls’ two first round draft picks in 1987?
Benkowski’s TV show began in 1988- this 2-word Midwest beer was a sponsor?
1970s drink, also a nickname for a Milwaukee Brewer team?
Patty Duke played two characters on a TV show- what were their first names?

Long-distance roll pits J&B against DumbHilts rolls the whiffle ball, which rolls around all over the floor before finally coming to a stop.
Hilts: “It’s Benkowski-ing me.”
Benkowski: “Quit using me as a verb.”

Hilts tries to lead the crowd in a stirring rendition of the J&B fight song.

Morning Wood guy to bar: “Can you turn off our soon-to-be-assassinated next President?”
Benkowski, to video guy: “Where is the timer on the video?”
I don’t think that moment is going to make the final cut.

Ladies Choice- Wood vs. J&B- “Most Pregnant”- Wood wins that one.
Ladies Choice- Bar vs. Dumb- “Shortest Fingernails”- Dumb wins that one.
Rene wins a “Drink Faster” contest against Dumb.

Scores at the half: Bar 1160 J&B 1130 Wood 1050 Dumb 710

Benkowski has an announcement prior to the start of the second half. One member of tonight’s Bar crew, Ed Vale (and why do I spell that as in Jerry Vale instead of as in Mike Vail?) recently got engaged to Carrie. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that one should be spelled Kerry, as in Newbie. Damn- I thought I still had a chance.

Second Half: Mixed Up/Movies (including a theater)/Celebrity YOB

1954- Eva Marie Saint wins “Best Supporting Actress” for what movie?
Why did Merv Griffin pick Vanna White for “Wheel of Fortune”?
What was the name of Robert Duvall’s character in “The Godfather”?
For which 4 MLB teams did Steve Stone pitch?
Real last name of Ritchie Valens?

Ladies Only- “Biggest Tattoo” pits Wood vs. Bar. Theresa rolls up her pants leg on behalf of the Bar when reference is made to showing her other tattoo.
Theresa: “I’m not showing that one.”
Trophy: “Show the tiger grazing on the grass.”

Ladies Choice- Bar vs. Wood- “Longest Middle Finger”- Bar wins that one.

Ladies Only- “Loudest Laugh for 5 Seconds”- J&B vs. Dumb- Gf issues a good, loud laugh that sounds like it easily outdoes the gal playing for Dumb.
Benkowski:” I’ve measured each laugh. They were similar in volume, but each had a problem. They were only 3 seconds long.”
A Long-Distance Roll decides the points- Dumb wins that one with a measurement.
I’ve measured each laugh?

Benkowski: “Here’s something I haven’t said in a while- J&B is trying to get out of last place.”

Ladies Only- “Drink Faster- Beer”- pits J&B vs. Dumb- Gf wins with a solid chug.

Benkowski: “I have a bi-polar warning for J&B- control your person.” Any guesses to whom that one was directed?

Scores after two halves: Wood 2210 Bar 2080 J&B 1910 Dumb 1740

Choice of Final Category: 80s Entertainment, 60s Entertainment or Chicago Baseball History.

J&B is the only team to select the Baseball category and decides to wager all 1910 points.

Baseball:
Exact year old Comiskey Park opened?
Number of games played in the 1959 World Series?
Given the name “Merkle”- what was his first name, what did he do, and what was his significance regarding Chicago baseball history?

80s Entertainment:
In the Eddie Money song “Take Me Home Tonight”- what 4 words are sung by Ronnie Spector?
1988- Benkowski’s TV show is shown in 5 states and internationally on what channel (not a number)?
Original artist for the song “Rock Steady”?

None of the teams select 60s Entertainment.

Gang?

Part II

J&B guesses 1910 (coincidental considering our wager), 6 games, and Fred Merkle dropped a 3rd strike that helped Cubs win a game and go to the World Series.

First Half answers:
Dennis Gentry
The Beginning of the End
Neil Diamond and The Hollies
Magglio Ordonez
Olden Polynice and Horace Grant
Old Style
Harvey Wallbanger
Kathy and Patty

Second Half answers:
On The Waterfront
He felt people with big heads are meant to be stars and liked White’s big head
Tom Hagen
White Sox, Cubs, Orioles, Giants
Valenzuela

Final Question:

Comfortably Dumb- 1740- 80s Entertainment- guesses “Be my little baby” (correct), Sportsvision (correct), and Jermaine Stewart (no)- wagered 1500- up to 3240.

J&B- 1910- Baseball- guesses 1910 (correct), 6 games (correct), and “Fred Merkle dropped a 3rd strike that helped Cubs win a game and go to the World Series” (no)- wagered 1910- up to 3820.

J&B needed the Hammer!

Bar- 2080- 80s Entertainment- guesses “Be my little baby” (correct), Sportsvision (correct), and The Whispers (correct)- wagered 2080- with bonus up to 7160.

Morning Wood- 2210- 80s Entertainment- guesses “Be my little baby” (correct), Sportsvision (correct), and The Whispers (correct)- wagered 2200- with bonus up to 7410 and the victory!

Only missing element: Merkle made a base running gaffe, not a dropped 3rd strike. J&B finishes third even if we had all questions correct.

Next trivia in two weeks- September 11th. I expect to be “in”.

Trust us - you can take Goveror(sic) anytime - we like the Mayor and the President

an exciting bird

So, leave it to spliffe to have a post that veared from birds to dicks.

But it's to birds we go.

Finally, a return visit - an exciting bird - of the hummingbird to the yard. Funny - great excitment when the cardnials, woodpeckers, goldfinches, blue jays, and hawks come - all deeply favoured frenz. but the ruby throated hummingbird? Damn rare. But it's twice now this summer, and this time the bird really stayed and drank a lot from the flowers of my trumpt vines.

But one of my aims was to make my yard a place of birds attrated to the plants (well, except stay away from the garden). Hence the plethora of sunflowers, and the vague attempts to grow other plant species. I'd had trumpet vines up for four years in varying states of growth. They are pretty envasive plants that have been growing about the yard. I knew they were invasive (they sprad real real quick), so I tried to be careful - but one plant has taken over the side of the garage. It would eventually destroy the garage if left to it's own devices - but since we are tearing down the garage this fall, i left it grow this summer.

This year, finally, it flowered. I thinks it's in it's fifth year. Lots of orange flowers the hummingbirds like. Earlier this year one popped in, checked out the flowers in the vines and a few others, and left. Now - about 2m later, one came and really poked it's nose about the place. This leads me to believe it will be back.

the aims of the party

Admittedly wit my Dad as the leader of the family we were skewed to be patriotically from the beginning. There have been calls to duplicate the sorta primitive patriotism lately, but seeing all these fine people on stage in Denver brings to mind one thing that in the mid seventies we were taught to do for our country - conserve.

The scouring of the planet, the putting of many $$$ in the the pockets of the families of people as anti American as Bin Laden and George Bush - we should take a new tact (sic?) and revert to saving - and more than just money and resources.

So - growing up in a cheap household, we cut corners all we could. Dad was not an Ahab type at all, but he could have fixations of a grand sort - and the ease of saving $ was one of them. So - heat was always turned down in the winter. We only got an air conditioner when the first nephew was born. There were always stows @ the foot of doors to keep out the flow of cold air. Rooms were not heated in winter to save on bills. Lights were to be turned off when you left the room. And paper, aluminum, copper, etc etc were all saved in the shed so that two to three times a year we could drop it all off @ the recycling places that were along the tracks east of Western or along the rail lines on 74th. We knew it was tie to go only when the prices for recycling went up enough. Pity this world my Dad was never even able to go to kindergarten.

What we knew to be our Dads cheapness, however, was also a bit of the countries - albeit very briefly. In 1973, when the oil crisis developed and gas lines popped up everywhere, suddenly plans for conservation of energy sprang up. It was understood that we shouldn't be so dependent on foreign energy sources - and one way to achieve that was to make the best use of what we had. Nowadays, of course, we just attack countries to secure our oil - but back to the mid seventies.

It's pretty famous - President Carter, appearing in a sweater @ the White House turning down the thermostat to whatever it was. This is the type of patriotism we should exhibit as a country again -well, one of them. Future President Obama made a great point awhile back - we should check the pressure in our tires since correct pressure will conserve gas. It needs to be remarked that McCain ridiculed him for that statement until the next day, when it was realized that it was actually McCain himself who was a fool for the statement.

For me, at least, it's easy. I actually grew up in a family that recycled, saved energy, grew our own food (a bit). We didn't own a car until about 1980. For me, at least, it's easy. Can be for everyone too.

So - what was cheap back in the day is - I feel - one of the models of patriotism that should be pushed heavy on Americans. We have so much advertisements for alchol and cigarettes, I don't feel bad for throwing patiotism some advertising dollars.
I love in California seeing efforts @ recycling. I like that my ward is one of two across th city to use the blue garbage bins for recyclables - it's been a success it seems and should be duplicated throghout the city. I like reports from Germany on their successes @ reuse. There are many more examples.

I know it's noxious, and if I grew up in Andorra, I'd be as patriotic; but I love America, and believe 101% in the people. Fuckin' awesome thing, they are. But a path of righteousness is needed. It should come up from the groundswell of the population - but in this country, too often we are lead by the fine people on stage in Denver. They will always put corporate in front of counrty - don't believe me? Like Malcom X telling us that he's gonna get the racists just by using their own exact words against them, and Jesus saying we know the goodness of the tree by the fruit it makes - look @ their voting records. Look @ times when they could have taken that patriotic path and really lead the people and make this country spin not @ 2% or 3% like they have it spinning now - but all systems on harmony, backed up in a superabundent and reduntent reserves of people power. We could very easily run this country so much better - isn'y 50% better than 2-3% ?? And we can aim always higher.

It's easy for me. I grew up in the sort of house that recycled, saved on energy costs in a variety of methods, had no car and so took a lot of CTA, had a garden. I know that that sort of lifestyle is actually very easy - and everybody should know this. I will amidt to being very disgusted that the fine people on stage in Denver have nothing to say on his subject. Easy steps can be taken, and shame on those who don't help out America will be labeled as such.

It's a deep shame it's not Malcom or Jesus or Dad are not speaking on that stage in Denver. They'd show that tue patriotism involves more than shouting down others just because they have louder voices @ their disposal.

interesting sex story

I'm'a not gonna mention this mans name, but I will spill all on his latest interetsing encounter. He visited a strip club w/some clients a month back, and one articular young lady caught his eye. She got him for $300, but since she showed interest in him, he gave her his #.

She called a week later, and they went out on several expensive dates. Dinner, $300, that sorta date. He likes that. but no play yet. My friend - lets call him Friend A - on about the third date as thinking that "to-nights the nite". There were signs. She was really warnming uo to him. Her thong, which was bothering her as she sat @ the restuaraunt table (And remember, this is a place where the bill is going to be $300) so she took off. That done.....well, lets just say that Friend A now really didn't have to wonder what she looked like down there - he could just see.

So, walking away from the restuaraunt back to her place, Friend A decided to playfully flirt and flash up her miniskirt on the deserted street.

OOPS !!

She went nuts about this, and even started crying n the steet. Friend A is thinking - wait - yr a stripper, y took off yr thing @ the table and Ic an see it all anyway - what the fuck??

So, she calmed, and they went back to her crib. There, after a bit, she started to strip for him and take off his clothes. Eventually, she got on her knees and started to -you know, that thing w/ her mouth - when suddenly and shockingly she grabbed his hips, shifted him up, and started to - you know, that thing w/ hr mouth- except her mouth was, um, now working, um, back there. He stated that her grabbing him and shifting him was incredibly sexy.

This guys stories. You wouldn't believe. You've read them before here. I have another great one, but it'll be saved.

the Joker

How could it live up to the hype? Close , though. Very enjoyable.


Gf and I watched the new Batman last week, and generally speaking it was great. Now, hype aside - I felt it was probably my fave of all the Batman movies, w/ possible exception w/ the exploding shark one.

And the Joker. Boy, eveyone tried to overdue themselves w/ accolades towards Heath ledger. Again, it was a bit too much, but he was kick ass in the film. Oscar talk whatever, he was beyond great.

How great was he? I mean, the backdrop of greatness in that role is huge - Ceasar Romero was perfect - until more perfection shwed up in the guise of Jack nicholson. My God both of those Jokers!! But step aside and add heath's version. Totally different, totally satisfying.

We go from "WHOO WHOOO WHOOO WHOOO WOOOO !!!" to "Where does he get those wonderful toys?" and now to a dog barking @ cars.

Don't expect the hype of the year award to come through, but totally see the movie - it's great. You'll love it.

logan

logan tom's the thing

The Joker, last seen hanging upside down in the Loop, sends these

y got 45m? try this:

and this

http://www.velvetrevolution.us/prosecute_rove/images/Spoon_Full.wmv

queens

more slobbering over Olympic athletes...

loretta's jarheads

newspaper scat

from that kat black

hrs, but not hbp

he was clapping like crazy

The Saviour of the Avion world

That’s Why He’s Nicknamed “Lawyer”

Written by Lazers

names edited by Hilts

Runner-up candidates for the title of this week’s trivia summary include “Gypsies” and “Post Office Masturbator”. TC Pub didn’t seem particularly crowded, but the game managed to fill with 6 teams.

The competition: Bar, Morning Wood, Comfortably Dumb, Barflies, and Girls Four.

J&B represented by: Chemical Man, Stix, Hilts, Gf, and Lazers

Each team allowed 5 tricks tonight- 3 throws, 1 Hangman, and 1 Lady’s Choice

First Half: Sports is Nice/80s Music (MTV Winners)/World Flags

Leads MLB in batting average and on-base percentage?
The 3 active managers in the top 7 all-time in victories?
1989- Best Metal Video- Guns N Roses- 4 words?
’08- only Chicago position player with more walks than strikeouts?

For the World Flags category, Benkowski (or one of his groupies) actually drew all of the flags used for the questions- nice creative touch. This category featured the worst guess of the night. For a flag with clues “European country that starts with the letter ‘E’”, Girls Four guess “Ukraine”.

Ladies Only “Drink Faster” contest- Gf defeats the Bar.

Ladies Only “Smallest (blank)” contest- Barflies select “feet” to fill in the blank and do battle with Theresa representing the Bar. Benkowski tells the girls to take off their shoes and put their feet next to each other’s, to which one of the Morning Wood guys added, “now kiss.”

Ladies Choice Challenge- Girls Four selects “biggest boobs” and defeats whichever team was next, unfortunately without a measurement.

Scores at the half: J&B 980 Wood 740 Dumb 530 Bar 490 Barflies 490 Girls 480

Second Half: Celebrity Year of Birth or Death/90s Music- Grammy/Entertainment

Mega-star recently signed to star in Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming WWII movie (given the outstanding title “Inglorious Bastards”)?
1988 “Best New Artist”- MTV- Guns N Roses- which song (4 words)?
Year of birth: Kelsey Grammer?
(Afterwards- Hilts’s yell of, “Kelsey is a gypsy!” sends Benkowski into a fit of laughter.)

Ladies Choice Challenge- J&B selects “tallest”- Gf defeats Morning Wood chick.

Scores: J&B 1850 Wood 1410 Barflies 1280 Dumb 1140 Bar 1060 Girls 1030

Choice of Final Category: Recent TV or In The News

2 of 3 wins wager. 3000 bonus for all 3 correct.

J&B selects “News” and wagers the classic (971).

Hilts: “We’re all wagered up, Benks!”
Benkowski: “Okay, you want to listen now.”

Recent TV:
Chicagoan Ted Allen from “Queer Eye” now is on this TV show?
Kathy Griffin of the D-List is currently on what network?
“Home Improvement” was on how many times between 8 and midnight on Nickelodeon (I think it was Wednesday night)?

News:
What Hollywood couple may co-star in a comedy titled “Food Fight”?
Kanye West may open 10 of these in the Chicago area?
After Jack Baysinger committed suicide in Colorado, how many weeks did his dog stay by his side?

Gang?

PART II

J&B guesses Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes, Fatburger, and 6 weeks. J&B is uncertain about the last answer.

First half:
Chipper Jones
Bobby Cox, Joe Torre and Tony LaRussa
Sweet Child O Mine
Ryan Theriot

Second half:
Brad Pitt
Welcome To The Jungle
That gypsy Grammer was born in 1955

Final question:
Girls Four- 1030- News- guesses Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie (no), After School Programs (no), and 3 weeks (no)- wagered 1030- thanks for playing.

Bar- 1060- TV- guesses Food Detectives (correct), Bravo (correct), and 4 times (correct)- wagered 1060- with bonus, up to 5120.
Benkowski: “With their deep knowledge of a homosexual man…”

Comfortably Dumb- 1140- TV- guesses Wine Steward (no), Bravo (correct), and 0 times (no)- wagered 1130- down to 10.

Barflies- 1280- TV- guesses How To Look Good Naked (no), Bravo (correct), and 8 times (no)- wagered 1280- thanks for playing.
Barfly player, discussing the Home Improvement question as he is leaving the bar: “I can’t believe it was 4 times!”

Morning Wood- 1410- TV- guesses Project Runway (no), Bravo (correct), and 32 times (no)- wagered 1410- thanks for playing.
The main Wood guy threatens to kill Benkowski so that the game is never finished and Wood gets to keep its status as defending champion. However, Benkowski indicates the game would be finished by his cousin Nick, who is in the bar. Benkowski must have had a premonition.

J&B- 1850- News- guesses Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes (correct), Fatburger (correct), and 6 weeks (correct)- wagered 971- with bonus, up to 5821 and the victory.
J&B now threatens to kill Benkowski in order to remain defending champions forever. Benkowski seems a little rattled by being faced with his own mortality.

Afterwards, Lawyer comes over to the J&B table, where there is discussion of the suicide/dog question.
Lazesr: “Maybe the dog killed the guy and made it look like a suicide.”
Lawyer (heading towards Benkowski): “Pat…it wasn’t a suicide…they shouldn’t get the points…”

Stix, on facing the decision whether or not to buy some large cd collections for his inventory: “I’m trying to decide if I have cojones this week.”
Gf: “Who’s cojones?”

Champion J&B will be back to defend their title in two weeks- Thursday, August 28th. I expect to be “in”.

secret man

There is some sort of party of a secret comng up, and last nite some of the secret preps were aided by me.

Somone who will remain nameless is celebrating something soon (and no, it ain't you if you are a regular reader of the blog)and the call for old material - foto's in particular - went out. I thought I had tonnes, but it turned out this man was a underfoto'd person. I only had four, but two are total classics ("_ _ 's Slaves" and "The Beatles". Wait - then there s the "F.B.I. foto".)

But i'd gotten out my old foto Albums from the late 1980's and yes - deeply horridly shocking about all those very young people I used to hang out with. And their clothes!! The person I was wkg with _ _ _ , made reference that some of the chicks in the foto's were dressed like it was "Breakfast Club" - and yeah, kinda looked like it. Another particular foto of someone who is a now a history PhD in the Midwest (yeah yeah, you slept with her - it's Cult Woman y'all, to use her histroical nickname) got the comment that her style was coming back again.

But I also got a taste of the power of the scanner. Again, I have so much shit on 'old technology' - new Association songs, L5 powerplays, pictures, trinkets etc etc etc that it is very necessary for me to get it rolling digatal. As it is, I got Processed processing some stuff for me, but I will go on record as saying that a lyt of the stuff I got is so so so so outthere, that I cannot allow it to fall into anyone's hands that sn't one of The Five. So, what I gotta do just so I release it is to transfer some of the great stuff to a cassette and allow Processed to redo it. For now. I followed his instructions and it turned out not good - maybe I need new wires etc etc etc.

we'll see.

hatred of youtube

Well, maybe just the fact that when I finally finish long episodes of 'filmmaking' - deep little bits of stuff cobbled to-gether, sweated and angered over- but finished - and then youtube cannot process it the first TEM TIMES I ty to download it.

It's my fault. I'm copping the web free via some lynksis system in a store nearby, and it don't always flow. So, Im gonna old school it and go the local library and use their much more pure and strong wifi system.

Till then, play rock / more Pavement, and curse myself for getting into them years after they broke up (A long a go playing of 'Yr killing me' by 'Yr Blackie-ing me' started that particular ball on a couch in an apartment on a street in a city @ a time.......

nothing about

Loretta

nice

asses

loretta abbey (after the first 10 seconds)

Shaking Hell

Had one of those horrible sweating fits. Felt it coming on the day before - something in the joints telling me that harsh times were ahead of me. It was @ 4.30 A.M. when I woke up shuddering and sopping wet with sweat. I unfortunately have the habit - well, not a habit - of undergoing such terrible shaking when I am sick. It was really bad - when it gets this bad, I wonder if this is what a heart attack feels like. Shaking Hell, I staggered over to close all the windows to keep out the 4AM chill, race another blanket onto the bed, add a winter hat and vest, then finally ball my body and mummy myself in the wraps. Eventually it stops. Eventaully I sleep.

The worst sorta sickness - this was a very very mild case - I remember was when I was very young and had such a mighty fever that my parents put my bed out in the dining room to better moniter me. The worst nite of that episode was filled with orange and yellow dreams manufactured by my severly overheated body and brain.


Again - Nothing like that this time, but it makes me think again. Methinks? Me too thin. And as I get older, it may be a good thng to add a few pounds. 10. 15. And again, this mite seem harsh to some, but I gotta amidt that I do not have a good relationship w/ eating. Often this summer I think of my daily diet from that day and realize that i have eaten only two pieces of bread total - if you don't count the and it's 2 AM. That's fine, but the next nite the same thing will happen. So, not healthy.

dentist

Oh, ya ya ya, I forgot.

Dentist today again.

One bloody mess removed.

Forever.

Horrid.

That's Rationing!!

talking to Mom about rationing during the War, and I told her that England also had rationing after the war as well. She said that they didn't, but then went on to explain that you could only get so much sugar, bread, etc...

"Did they give you booklets for that, Mom?"

"Yes"

/lovareal/

Returns of the Science Times

During the year, I get a bit overwhelmed by reading the NYT. I try to read it all, and am often reading yesterdays paper today. What suffers is The Science times, a great Tuesday only section I always put aside - i reckon that t's more important to read todays breaking news, and I ca get to the science later. Fine idea, but often I'm 3m behind in reading the science part.

Well, I'm caught up, and a few of my small faves from the past 3m will be printed here - one a day.

Today.

Moon rocks.

um=securityout

pw=hilts

(if needed)

Waiting to happen

Gozza's gozza good gost gon accents. Me like. Funny those. Dragon from the South - but does cracker 'ave anysorta "y'all' going on? Nah. And me. I realise that I have a pretty heavy Southside accent - when I want to. I do not slip into it on purpose, but it's been pointed out to me by non southside frenz that it's there.

So I began to notice it. And yes, it's there - talking to ss fenz, in school, intereacting w/ people in the neighbourhoods.

But I also have a black accent. When there are many African Americans in my conversational circle, I'll start dropping "be's"* and all that. Like the Marquette Park this is also not a put on, though far less natural. I love it, and find it very interesting.

And, if y read Spliffes rejoinder, I agree w/ her on her "sweetie "point. Q, an old Love, was mocked by her frenz way back in Fall 1987 when she got on the hone w/ me and went into her "Sweetie" voice that lovers do when they converse. Maybe not an englander accent by Q, but there was abberation in her voice.

.........................................

*=as in, "He be doing that now"

Gettysburg, the First Day.

Right now reading. T'was a xmas gift from a few years back, but I finally picked it up. I read - and fell in love with - Gettysburg The Second Day (can there be a better name for a book??)maybe 6-7y ago. Between the Second Day and this, the First Day, I also read Pfantz'z Culps Hills . Pfantz worked @ Gettysburg National Park for a long time, and the books that he wrote on the battle - three, so far - are all excellent. He was @ the site for his wrking life, and it very obviousy knows it all. The field, the battle, the personalities, the various points of disagreement. he's a master. I love him.

But these books are very hard to read. There are lots of maps that detail movements of units across individual fields - the book is totally into such minutea (sic) and it's a trick to try and trace them. And Civil War battles are very hard - one side would advance into a field, win it while the otherside retreated in disaray, and then the inevitable counterattck would happen - w/ the inevitable retreat, counterattack, etc etc etc... Very difficult to follow.

I still love the rush his first book gave me. By the time I'd turned to Civil War books in the 90's, Pfantz's Gettysburg the Second Day blew me away. It really opened me up to this war -reading about this war, that is - W/ Stephen Sears, he is my favourite author of that era. And there is a danger - I ordered Bent Noswaorty's take on Civil War battle. Nosworthy wrote two deeply dense and complicated books on early 'linear warfare'* , and it will be here soon. Is the Civil War replacing Christ??

*='linear warfare' = think lines of troops all marching in lines all upstanding and and muskets and all that - y'know, the American Revolution style.

Klas.2.2

More dribbles on Klas, only a week late or so !!

not sure if im breaking it...

... but i heard

that some dude some people call bronson

is actually gonna pick up

.........a guitar......

and soon to show us what he came up with

........ or so some one says....

the Site of a Single crow

It was dinner time on a Sunday nite in Evanston. Vito and Darwina are rocking the Chicago thing this week, and it was to Gallo and Shipleys for a massive mess of mess. Crankface and hilts were also gests, although Patience and Gf were not. Boo.

This was a day when I was to drop off lots of my produce into the communal swill - I brought up massive amounts of peas, beans, and cucumbers. Vito brought up cukes and beans and more from his dads plot - no tomatoes from either, yet.

I got 'face, late as usual. I'd stopped by Gf's to collect her cake (made special for this show). She was too ill to make it -she's been sick for two weeks, and it was the smart thing to let her rest. Sucks. Usually when she is w/ me, I totally shut up and let her do the talking. This nite iw as in a talkative mood.

We BBQ'd out back. Well, Crank' clammed it and Gallo did sausages and porks and meats of all kind. Crank also threw in a Spainard into the werkes - the beans were beneath an egg. It was great. As usual, it was great. No cucumbers, though - Gf's recipe went unused. The Gallo's secured the back area of their condo and had it all set up - BBq going, plates, glasses - even wine glasses - waiting. Man, if i ever get to hosting, I'm sure the guests will have to drink out of old plastic cups w/ pictures of a 1987 Carlton Fisk on it. There also was the welcome site of a flyover from a crow.

It was great to see all. Vito I see not too regularly, as he's in Cali. However, it was a bit overdue to hang out w/ the Gallo's and Crankface (not in a park). Vito is his usual busy, w/ family and fnz all having to queqe up to slot in their face time. I think next time Vito is available to this crowd is Friday.

Late nite - late late nite - hung @ Crankfaces. It was too late.

Coming To-morrow !!

Culled from an entirely fictional entertainment newspaper....errr, blog...... :

" This Tuesdays (5 Aout) regular releases of new indy movies includes the deeply anticapated latest film from Virgil Hilts called "The Saviour of the Avion World". Based on his work with animals in the Spring of 2008, this film also includes Gf, Stix, Neices.1,Chris Rolphe, Neice.3, as well as a host of other famous celebratiers. "

To-morrow. I promise.

So important for me say 16 on

w A X

Loretta's scar's

The Professor

I can't

i

can't wait

Comic Book Guy says…

Written by Lazers
Names edited by Hilts

Crowded night at TC Pub as six teams would battle for the night’s trivia crown. Tonight’s twist on tricks: each team gets three throws, no Hangman, and one option of a “Ladies Only” challenge of their choice.

The competition: Bar, Comfortably Dumb, Trio, Morning Wood, and Bearded Clams

That’s right- the game featured both Morning Wood and Bearded Clams

J&B represented by: Chemical Man, Hilts, Stix, Dragon, Gf, Sue, Mo, Coles and
Lazers

First Half: Music/Catholic Parishes/Baseball

Randy Johnson’s best single-season record as a Mariner (24 decisions)?
Daryle Ward’s first MLB team?
Kenny Lofton’s first MLB team?

Early commentary from Benkowski: “It could be a stunning upset- the Clams are out in front!”

“Ladies Only” challenges picked by teams tonight:
Longest Hair
Closest in age to 50 (used multiple times!)

Lazers: “With three Ladies, we should concoct a challenge that uses three Ladies at once.”
Coles: “A threesome?”

Bad math by Lazers- J&B had four Ladies tonight.

Scores at the half: Dumb 860 Wood 800 J&B 780 Trio 670 Clams 540 Bar 400

Second Half: Know America/Fresh Celebrity Year of Birth/Chicago

Largest city in Missouri?
(Note: with 3 current or former Missouri employees on the night’s roster, J&B still manages to get this one wrong)
In 2007, three of the fastest growing cities are in this state?
Largest city in Ohio?
Its original location was 29 E Ohio in Chicago?

The Clams select the Ladies Choice Challenge…and then tries to talk the ladies sitting next to them into taking part. Benkowski starts counting down from 15, and the crowd starts to get rowdy. None of the ladies moves, and they are roundly booed at the end of the countdown. Mo was particularly vociferous in her booing and receives a dirty look from one of the ladies.

One player each from Morning Wood and Trio somehow manage to get into what became a short but very heated argument about Nick Swisher’s career fielding percentage as a first baseman. It wouldn’t have surprised me if it turned physical. To repeat: this argument was about Nick Swisher’s career fielding percentage as a first baseman.

J&B was one of the teams to pick “Ladies Only- Closest to 50 Years Old” as a challenge and wins when Dumb makes absolutely no effort to find a lady to play for them.

“Drink Faster” challenge pits the very large leader of Bearded Clams against Dumb. The Clam pounds his drink (beer) and slams the cup down onto the table. Benkowski calls for the DQ, as the instructions clearly state that the empty cup must be placed in Benkowski’s hand. Someone yells “gay”. Benkowski: “It’s not gay to put something in someone’s hand.”

Benkowski: “I want to tell all the teams, especially the Clams, that there are 3000 bonus points available on the final question…so don’t show the Paul Konerko body language yet.”

A Lady finally agrees to take part in a challenge on behalf of the Bearded Clams. Benkowski: “Thank you, young clam.”

Scores after two halves: J&B 2030 Dumb 1600 Trio 1350 Wood 1330 Clams 880 Bar 760

Choice of Final Category- 2000s Music or 1980s Entertainment

J&B selects 80s Entertainment and wagers the classic.

2 of 3 wins wager. All 3 wins 3000 bonus points.

00s Music:
Outkast’s biggest hit?
Week of July 14th- Top Ten hit “Forever”- artist?
Week of July 14th- Top Ten hit “Viva La Vida”- artist?

80s Entertainment:
In the 80s, Benkowski was in bed with his wife. She moves out of the way, and what female radio announcer was in the bed on the other side of her?
In the 80s, Benkowski had a bar appearance with a famous White Sox pitcher. However, the bar owner locked the bar because his girlfriend had a toothache. Benkowski and the Sox pitcher then signed autographs in the parking lot (or at least the Sox pitcher did). Who was that White Sox pitcher?
In 1987, as part of “Bowling with the Stars”, Benkowski beat this NHL Hall of Famer by 80 pins?

…”Worst Final Question Ever!”


Part II

Perplexed, J&B guesses Karen Hand, Tom Seaver, and Tony Esposito.

First half answers:
20-4
Houston Astros
Houston Astros

Second half answers:
Kansas City
Florida
Columbus
Pizzeria Uno

Final Question:

Bar- 760- Music- guesses “Hey Ya” (correct), Chris Brown (correct), and Coldplay (correct)- wagered 760- plus bonus- score of 4520.

Bearded Clams- 880- Music- guessed “Hey Ya” (correct), Chris Brown (correct), and Coldplay (correct)- wagered 880 plus bonus- score of 4760.

Morning Wood- 1330- Music- guesses “Hey Ya” (correct), Chris Brown (correct) and Coldplay (correct)- wagered 1330 plus bonus- score of 5660.

Trio- 1350- Entertainment- guesses Katherine Johns (no), Ed Farmer (no), and Stan Mikita (no)- wagered 950- down to 400. (Side note: after the Katherine Johns guess, Benkowski: “I knew her. She propositioned me once. But it’s not her.”)

Comfortably Dumb- 1600- Entertainment- guesses Yvonne Daniels (no- and this guess elicits a large laugh from Benkowski), Ed Farmer (no), and Tony Esposito (correct)- wagered 1600- thanks for playing.

J&B- 2030- Entertainment- guesses Karen Hand (no), Tom Seaver (no), and Tony Esposito (correct)- wagered 1171- down to 859.

Morning Wood wins with 5660 points with the benefit of selecting the category whose questions didn’t suck. At least they had some cute girls.

Missing answers: Beth Kay and Lamar Hoyt.

Next trivia night: Two weeks on August 14th. I expect to be “in”.

klas.2.2

Typical of me, I was running around the house trying to get it all to-gether. There were a million little things to take care of. Eventually, I got to Klas, 'though very late. Leave it to me - I'd wanted to get there early and practice the stuff through, but ....... leaving it late.

Chemical man and Processed were there - my main co contributors - and thank God. Instantly, since The Battle of the Denmark Strait were up first - we had to set shit up : get batteries for the keyboards, set up the instant relay TV, put tape down on the floor, try out the mikes, hurriedly conscript Mo and Lazers and Dagwood for spots in the show, fiddle w/ the lites, get Chemical Man and Dragon working to-gether to correctly let the computer flow, get the Stones boots to play as well as 'Romeo and Juliet', entertain Gf, etc etc etc...

People helped a lot. I knew that some would be interested in what actually the show would comprise of, but a lot was blow trying to hurridly get everything downvirgil before curtain. But, given the tenor of the nite and the accompying ampleness in artistic generosity of the crowd, I realised that I could, well, probably take a shit on stage and be applauded. Maybe. But there was room for raggedness, despite my idea that the resentation was so wierd that the only full way to get it done and appreciated was 100% seriousness and 100% nailing it.

Seriousness, maybe 85%
Nailing it, maybe 60%

Fine either way.

So, curtain, and I was forced out onto the floor. I was kinda nervous, but also I'd last minute planned - there, those sunglasses - that will allow nobody to catch my eyes. That made it a bit easier. But as the prerecorded tape rolled - well, it was a digital soundtrack, but - there I had to go out. The first bit was all running about pretending to warm up for the event - me just, y'know, warming up. Then, nervous laughter from the crowd.when it was announced exactely waht kind of competition it was.

But it went well. Again, part one was somewhat easy to do, because the first 4m were me just acting out the 'competition', and I only had to talk near the end of it during the 'interview part'. Some of it was simply smple. For instance, I made a bit of a do - stolen from 'Chariots of fire' - about finding the right stance for my feet. It allowed me to fiddle around while the soundtrack played - great for someone who was vervous about being there. And sometims it didn't work rite. A bad problem came when the replay scene didn't work. I was gonna do two replays - one in 'slow mo' that was supposed to be funny - but that area of the place was too dark after I'd shut off some of the stage lites to get a better atmosphere on the stage.

Shoulda walked it through.

Otherwise, I ran around, Lazers put the USA flag on me, I screamed out in the 'interviews', and it was over. I found that mainly staying to script was easy -except when there was no script. For the interview, for example, I had an idea of what to say - but I more or less winged it. But, it was over.

Except that I was still on stage only 1/4 done. Sheesh.

The second part was a disaster. A I stated last post on Klas, I had a multi faceted character I'd wanted to do for a long time - but got to messed up so i basically scuttled the character to make it an easier on me. Instead, the skit turned into an unrehearsed total mess, with me basically begging my three confederates in the crowd to heckle me loudly (this was pplanned, i just wanted it a lot quicker when I realised I was in trouble). So, I did a real bad-EAL BAD REAL BAD REAL BAD- cokup of that characte, Mo, Lazers, and Processed finally let it on me - "You suck, yr terrible, etc etc etc" type of thing. Then, Chem and Dra got my Mom yelling @ me and telling me I'm embarrassing her over the sound system- the second and last laugh the entire show got - and finally dagwood did his part.

Dagwood is a natural actor. Fearless. I knew he would be rite for an emergency part, so before the show started, idragooned hm ino a role where he would have to step up on stage rite after my Mom and basiclly force me off. He did well. he was perfect for it. Perfcet.

The idea of these hecklers was just a transition to the second main part of the show - the cover of the Genreal Strikes "Alleuigh" (sic). The four hecklers got me off stage so I could change into the prists outfit behind the 'green screen'. So, Dagwood stepped up on stage, berated me, pointed to an apperatus near the back f the stage, and told me to really entertain the crowd on stage. The I hid behind that screen while I changed.

I wrote about "Romeo and Juilet" in the last Klas post. It's deeply bombastic orchastrel piece from 100ya by pokrief (sic). I only know ot throught the Smiths. But it worked well. Although it was only a costume change, the 2m of me behnd the green screen was kinda kool. I hadn't intedned it, but some people came out w/ a :IS he really? Hah, can't be...". Was never in the works, but it was a good throught.

The, "alleuigh". Rite when the bombastic ending of pokrief hits, Darwood dropped the curtin and I walked out as a (Not THE priest, I hope you will notice. He'll make a return) priest an did te General strikes song. It went well. we had actually practced it maybe 5 x total, so we knew what we had. There were a couple missed beats etc, but it went well. What i'd wanted to really do w/ this song -besides having an easy ender to the program - was to get people to sing along. It's easy to do -just sing "alleliugh" to the beat. I knew some people sang it w/ our encouragement, but I couldn't really tell as I was on stage.

It was done - my part. Gf had to buy smokes and eat something, so I imed disapearred for 45m. I think people dug it enough. Not a major piece of work, it was just fun to fuck aroud on stage. Bit of my personality. Light to the gentiles - no, wait, that's Bloom. Lets see if I'm invited back.

The rest of the show was great. Lots of people showed, which I liked. Dagwood had the geat show of art hanging up in a display room - the people who set everything up should be commended. Everyone dug the music. The outside was kool to hang. Bers were ok. And other.

Bully Pulpit played, and even Rocky was happy enough w/ how they played. I think they were good- as did Gf, who I seconded her saying that it was their best show. It did lose a bit near the end - the beginning was better than the ending -but it was solid. Drummero was great, and coda'd their set w/ a 2m drum solo ending. We cheered. Also, loved the reprise of 'the Wall'. First seen by me when these dudes - who I didn't know back then - played it @ the old Avalon in 199.....what year?........oh, yes, Madonna....1991. Not a complete cover of the entire LP, they get most of it w/ a couple of their own suprises thrown in. The Wall's pretty good, as was their take. 2025 next time, I guess. And there was a small section devoted to cover songs. "Hot for Teacher" is still going through my mind.

Stayed LATE. GF left a bit early, and I was one of last out.

stones '72