06 May, 2011

On my last days as a Beatle

In youngster days, it often felt that as I walked, here also walked as a Beatle. Thought expressed to Dragon, and of course I had to defend meself, and I defended meself thus: As I walked, it often felt 'here walks a Beatle'. There was just that feeling of ..... well, the opening scene in "A Hard Days Nite"? The chase of people? I was there - maybe not in March and April 1964 - but certainly in 1980, 1984, heavily 1987 and 1988, certain periods of the 90's, and 2006 and 2007.

There was nothing like the late Eighties period, especially and however. It wasn't the women, or the art, or the scene, or .... maybe it was all of that and more. But just that feeling of mastering life, and everythng that was went through me, and it was in my fingertips, and..... Just gotta feeling, and looking back ... well, something can't be put into words.

But the 1987 and 1988 period wasn't just the early Beatle days either - there was the whole gamut of the Beatles experience embedded in those 8 months. Predating "Day's Night", for example, was "She Loves you" - no, not a girl thing, but the joyous expression of newfound ... newfound something whose exuberance can only be called "Beatlemania" in myself. Certainly there there was "Help" (solidified @ the top of the game and putting out whatever), and, of course, "I Feel Fine" (yes, a girl thing, and yes I felt fine). Then came, crazily of course, "Tomorrow never knows" and the retreat to the studio of Sgt Peppers. But there was the decline of that period as well. I can totally see the "White Album" being played out, and fissures and splits and bad feelings... Eventually it all fell asunder - but so did the Beatles. A period ended, never to be resurrected in the same way...

...except, from bittle little times to the next, sometimes it returns - like, recently. Again, that feeling of runing down the street, chased by the throngs ..... I had it again.... and now it's gone (but you know it's gonna be/alright). The expression of my Beatlehood bizarrely came in the expression of my wearing my comfortable clothes. Started slow @ first, but when I went out dandy, black wide brimmed wearing, there as the constant interruption of other people, grasping, asking, chasing, wanting, and, finally, interfering... Now, I LOVE being a spectacle.. Why hide it? And walking heavy as I did, there was no way to hide it. And anywhere I went, I knew. Now - put me in West Rogers park, and I am nobody. But in every other -every other neighbourhood in ther city, and ... well, that opening of "Hard Day's" comes to mind...

My favourite was just hanging @ the local having a drink, researching for a movie or trying to write lyrics, or drunkingly writing down ideas for a script. Just lovely. Now, the regulars knew who I was and love me. But, eventually, someone else would come up and inquire "Hey- whats the deal with you? What are you doing? Why do you look like that? Talk to me, please." Kool@ first. Especially kool if it was a lady. Especially kool if it was an agressive lady from out of state who wanted to kiss me again and again (nice- did follow up, up...).

But often times it was just a dude. Kool - I have learned, especially from three of my sometimes elders (Jakov - nee Jamie, The Joker and Big John - and I guess Christ) that to talk to strangers - fellow humans - is one of the hightest callings - but it GOT TO A POINT ..... where it was just one after another - and I had shit to do. There came that time where I couldn't go 20m w/o having to retell what was going on - and it got tiring.

Never did I think that my experience as Baetle would so totally encompass Georges experience - but it did.

And then, there came time to let it go. That Sunday where the filming was finished and I decided to go out comfortably one last time and celebrate as myself - kinda sad. But, the time had come. That nite was my last nite - swell, for now- as a Beatle.

But, you never - I never - know when that feeling will return. We'll see.

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