Not on Jutland

More and more away I get from everybody, it seems. Everyone, 'cepting a few. My Mom. The 2 other coaches I work with. Bolo. And - ready for this - Gallo, BCD, and Chemical Man. Six humans and a dog. Otherwise, I just feel enstrangement, distance, and dissassociation. Nothing bad with anyone - all the bad is with me. But everywhere these days is unsafe and alien and unknown.

I have my moods, and im sure it's just that. But, still. On Saturday, watched the Champions League Final @ Gallos. What did we eat - frozen pizza! Gotta understand the foodieness of the dude, so it giggles me much that it was frozen opizza (good shit - and by me saying it was frozwn pizza @ Gallos, it was of course "super gourmet organic special wonder pizza", bott he 3 for $10 shit i get. Tasted great. The game was exciting and well played, but it sucked 'cause Man U was dominated aftere those first 10m. Somewhat reminisent of the final between ManU and Barca 2 years ago. This loss was easier to take - maybe because the odds were long going into it. But, as always, it's great to see Giggs play. He's such a link to my way past - he predates the Premership - that i'm scared he will retire soon. They play here in the summer - wonderful to see him as there is no tlak of retirement.

But, retire he will someday sooner than later.

Gallos is an easy place to go and Im always easily welcomed. It's a very safe place for me these days where I usually just want to go places where there is noone and I dont have to talk to anyone. Reason I go to bars by myself and bring along something to read - let me watch but no I don't want to talk. Going to soccer or baseball agmes - by myself. The theatre (a lot lately) - by myself.

Self, self, self.

Sunday was a cookout @ the Jokers. Hadn't been in contact w. these people -The New Guard - since LAST YEARS PITCHFORK. Now, understand, these were the people who I spent so much time with for so many years. So much time. I'm closest to the Joker and Big John here, but they all are important - except, again, enstrangement, distance, and dissassociation. Why? In many ways the group was fractureded from what it was say 10 years ago - but growing up and having families and jobs and houses and all that will, of course, do that.

And in many ways that is it. I've not worked for almost a year now, and Ive never been able to keep any job for long. At this point it seems that I will never work again - especially doing waht I want to do in CPS. I have almost no hopes in these regards now. Very pessimistic. A female would be nice - but now, @ my age and w. my propects... And children? I can't even take care of myself, let alone another life.

So, here I was, in the midst of my good frenz... who were talking about their jobs and children and doing ok. It was a struggle @ times to deal w. a simple cookout.

But I did. I talked, and mingled, and had fun. It was too long between times from having seen these guys - it wasn't Pitchfork, but sometime in October or whenever William Randolph Heurst no - it was Big John? had his bday party last. What I noticed was how much Kat, Big john's wife, is a safe person for me. Right after I got in, i immediately sat near her and joined her conversations before I could go on and talk to others. I'd realised that before, but now I know for sure - she will make me comfortable w. the whole group around.

So, trouble, trouble. I'm mired now. Lent has suddenly become hard - For me, it now ends Pentacost (12 June). Funny - that was never the problem. Dealing w. my mire is the real problem. My greatest gift is my socialness - remember when I was the monarch of all butterflies? No longer. But maybe again.

Dual Dreams

My knee is still mutherfucling me - up severaltime slast nite to ice and idprofin it. Last nite was really terrible - I've recentely reading the book Pain Free, which the gym teacher here reccommended for me. Yesterday I started doing the exercises for ther knee - and maybe that exertion led to my nitemarish nite.

But - waking again and again led me to be able to rememebr some dreams:

Finally bought an electric guitar. Went to shop w. Blackie and Rocky. Wouldn't you know it, my new guitar was an exact ripoff of the Rockers - red and w. this nylon strings. Thanks, however, to both of you for helping me buy it in my dreams.

Starsser broke down. Keyed it up inan out of the way dark plavce - and it died. No hope of reviving it. Wasn't in a dangerous area, desopite it biing late and dark out - but meant more and ore $$$ spent on it.

Bird Annotations

The American Redstart

Lazy lookingout the window, when something tiny teeterer about nearby. Never seen this ird before, so i study the hell out of it as it flits about. Tried to camera it and film it, but never my love. Fairly easy re-co'ing it in the bird books - looks and acts just like they said.


Murder Amongst the Bushes

Always wondered what I'd do if I saw a Hawk or Owl cornering a little bird ot animal.. Always figured I'd let nature take it's course. Then when it actually happened, i felt terrible guilt after the outcome. On the block,a nd a muchefucking badass Hawk was just sitting on a railing of a house. In the bushes below, the little brown birlds nervouse trying to survive. Across the street, i stopped and watched. After a bit, the Hawk just dived straight into the bush and came out w. feathers. Instantly I felt like shit when I realsied that that little brown thing probsably was @ my feederd earlier in the day. I felt I let down a friend.

Won't happen again.

The Return of the American Robins

Last eyar a American Robin pair had a nest in the crook of the drainpipe inmy house. So exciting!! However, before they fledges, the two wee birdeenes were flushed from their nestbecause it got infested by bugs - one of the eggs didnt hatch and went bad. I think what happend was that the birds got so scratchy that they jumped out of the enst 0 and were caught by one of the free cats that live in the area. One nite I heard the Robin parents screeching and screeching and I ran outside. I tried to get the cat - a sweet little thing I've nicknamed "Bamboo" - to give it up - but it raced away w. the bird in it's mouth. Later I found the remains in the alley opposite.

Now, Robins have laid FOUR eggs in the nest. They both flush the nest when I am on the porch or go to take a closer look - again screeching and screching @ me while they are perched in the tree nearby. No, do not want to make their life difficult. But - will look for dead eggs after baby bird appear - do not want a reprise of the murders of last year.

The Hummingbird Yard

Bro in lawas siste rlive sout in way subarbs - not wild area, but distinctly country compared to Mt. Greenwood neighbourhood of Chicago. Their backyard - smallish by some suburban standards - is green and wooden and kool. There used to be a small creek that ran through the back of it, and trees are everywhere. So, saw a little hmmingbird in a large tree's branches. NICE! Looking thro' across their property, I could see that their neighbour's yard was really set up to atract hummingbirds - lots of plants thta those birds like, and feeders abunded. Very nice. One of my aims is to garner hummingbird's attentions for my yard. Got the Goldfinches easy w. the sunflowers and feeders - but so badly want hummingbirds. Ongoing project.

Father Mike returns!

So I had the opportunity to actually go to a mass @ St. Sabina's where Father Mike gave the sermon. I was worried lastw eek it would never happen - but Cardinal George allowed him back after several meetings.

Kool as hell. Went to the 11:15 mass - it got out @ 2:45 (!)- and I loved it. Again - longtime, not used to such long masses - but well worth it. I think I am going to try to go once a month. Again - there was the long concert type "Praise Jesus" start- with slow songs and rocking, hand clapping ass kickers. Yes, I sanfg and clapped, although a....little uncomfortable sometimes... but no one cared, of course. Lots of hugs from complete strangers - a very huggy congregation - like 10 different people. Very kool.

And Father mikes sermon. Usually, the priest will deliver a sermon from that days gospel reading. Father Mike went around that and instead did it from a Psalm (83?), and it was great. Again and again, it kept coming around to whatever you are going through, Gods got yr back. The Psalm had in it the people going through a dry valley (Baca) and getting out to the other side. Funny - Always I think, am i doing things rite? Why is my life so danm stupid? Ive made so many terrible decisions, and life - mine - can be in such a terrible condition. But that thought - that God 's got my back - does occur. AM I doing Jesus's work? Would He be happy with what I am doing? And, fuck status or money or time or who I spend time with or all of that - does any of that really matter, if 'Gods got my back?'

And yes - this is the way I think these days. Don't worry, just do the right thing. Try. Keep on keeping on. So, in my times of trouble, this does comfort me. Although, yes, I'm a terrible sinner as well.

So, again and again, i get such positive vibes from going ot church, especially St. Sabina's. Not next week, but I'll go soon again. It's too good of an experience. Lots of interesting people. Beautiful. Some dressed up, some not. The singing. Enjoying beiing immersed in another culture - this is purely African American, tho' it's maybe 5% white in the church during mass. People are so happy and welcoming to see you. One feels part of something greater than yrself.

And that's what it's supposed to be. Amen.

Sorrow felt for neice

Neice.1 got back from a semester in Mexico City this weekend. She was there to help in her Spanish. Of course - as she is a young person in university - she loved it. SHe was there for 5m and had metric tonnes of adventures. Always strange to be back wherever wheh you have been out of town/country for an extended time - even my 2week trips to Cali led to a certain dislocation uopn returning - let alone living in he D.F. for such a long time.

However, where my sorrow comes in was in talking to her parents @ Nephew.3's baseball game (lost, but he got a R.B.I to tie the game early). She is leaving alot of frenz behind - it hit me when her mom said that she'd probably never see alot of these kids again. Her frenz were from all over - Mexico, Central America, South America, England, Germany, etc etc etc... That losing of a place and time - a scene - hurts, especially because it can never be recreated. I guess "No Expectations" can be applied to many situations.

But, of course, the time was there. Enjoyed while it lasted.

I think I know where I want to go to Mass ths Sunday!

EMail from the St. Sabina's mailing list just recieved:

Effective immediately, our Pastor, Fr. Pfleger has been reinstated to full sacramental and pastoral ministry here at the Faith Community of St. Sabina and in the Archdiocese of Chicago. We thank everyone for their letters, prayers and support. On Sunday, May 22, 2011 Fr. Pfleger will not only celebrate his birthday but will celebrate the 11:15am Worship Service.

songofthemoment.1

songofthemoment.2

Abba Pfleger

Always a fan of father Pfleger of St. Sabina's. Do believe he does Gods work. Lots of people don't like him, but maybe they just have a little more to go. He's the top priest @ St. Sabina's catholic parish near 79th and Racine. St. Sabina's is a little different from yr normal Catholic parish in Chicago - for one thing, it's mainly an African American community. It's also a very very activist parish - over the years they've taken on guns, gangs, violence, stores selling stuff that enables drugs, etc etc etc. One of my favourite stories was several months ago Father Mike lead all the men in mass that morning on a walk over to the headquarters of the Gangster disciples to protest the shootings that had take no part in that 'hood earlier in the week. Some say he's a publicity hound - but I see it as away to garner publicity to a greater cause (meaning: guns, gangs, violence, etc...)

Always been a bit curious about the black mass - meaning these services where it's all activity and singing and sweating and shouting and all that, lasting hours - but felt a bit out of place to ever go to one. Years ago, I decided to try it @ St. Sabinas - during Black History Month the church had Cornell West to deliver the sermon one Sunday (every Sunday during Black H. M. they have a similar high level person to do the sermon). It was perfect - Catholic, Cornell, and fun to see Father Mikes famous parish.

Of course, it was brilliant. Long as hell - 3 and a half hours! Full of songs - the band and the choir made it one of the best 'concerts' i'd ever been to. Cornell West brilliant. Special feeling inside the church - what's that word? Spiritual? Apt. It was a curious mix of Catholic mass and what I saw on the telly - the black mass. It started off w. 45m of 'Praising Jesus' music rock out. (when I was telling some black folk about 'they started off w. a 45m concert, they told me of the 'praising Jesus' thing that happens generally in black services). The music shifted, sometimes pounding, sometimes soft. All great. There were the readings - the normal Catholic three. The sermon - delivered by Cornell, was brilliant.

But then something very different happened. In my church, when it comes time to give the cash, dudes go around w. a basket. Here, however, envelopes were passed out and everybody walked to the front of the church to drop their offering in a box. They then went back to their seat. When everyone was seated, and a bit more of a pause, there came to -by the rote' Catholic stuff - the Creed, Holy Communion, etc. The getting people to walk up out of their seats for the offering was a smart was of allowing people who were not Catholic to leave before the obligatory Catholic stuff was celebrated: walk up, drop in the offering, easily walk out of the church. It nicely allowed non catholics to celebrate w. the 'faith community' of St. Sabina's w/out forcing them to do the Catholic stuff that we all love. And, noticeably, there were less people after the offering than before. Very interesting and accommodating.

Last time I went to St. Sabina's was on Good Friday. The best of all Catholic days for me - even though, yes, I can kinda see that Easter does take precedent over it. (Quick memory from 20y.a. == we'd been broke'd up for many months, my First Love and I - Q, d'accord - when she called me (i'd just called her and hung up) and said d'accord we should talk - it's Easter and the time for forgiveness, yes? I always use that - including a few weeks ago - around Easter. Do love asserting religion, sometimes. Or @ least bringing lite to the gentiles) . Picked up Jakov from the 79th street El and tried to get into St. Sabinas - but the place was packed. The church itself was overflowing, so we had to go intot he basement - giant space, also over flowing. We was lucky - people coming after had to sit in the street and listen to the loudspeakers they set up outsside - that packed!! The reason it was so packed was they were doing a rendition of The Last Seven words of Christ - from the little I know, it is a big deal to go over these things Jesus said from the Cross and many similar services and books and ruminations go on about them - it was my first exposure. What St. Sabina did was assemble a huge list of famous Protestent preachers - two women, five men, all black - to preach on this theme. Now, to me, except for Jerimiah Wright, I'd never heard of any of them (see the list= Last Seven Words service from St. Sabina's on Good Friday) - but everyone in the church knew who they were. So, it was fun to be in the presence of famous people- maybe I didn't know who they were, but the place was packed w. people knowing). Not a mass, it was a series of sermons - each about 30m long - w. one of the sayings as a base.

The Sayings:

Father forgive them, for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34).
Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise (Luke 23:43).
Woman, behold your son: behold your mother (John 19:26-27).
My God, My God, why have you forsaken me, (Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34).
I thirst (John 19:28).
It is finished (John 19:30).
Father, into your hands I commit my spirit (Luke 23:46).


And it was just magic. Packed, hot, uncomfortable - but seven different masters one after another just lighting the place up. Each one was fantastic in their way. Some attacked the way our society treats the downcast. One of the women preachers took "Woman, behold your son: behold your mother" and preached on 'you may not get what you want, but you will get what you need'. It was all very kool, and beyond moving. Some started out quiet, and moved into the loud as hell preaching style. Then last preacher was like James Brown*, kept on comin back a la "Please Please,Please" when all though all though he was finished, but back back he'd come to the podium. Fricking rock show. Biggest star? Reverend Wright. I was more moved by others (he was fantastic!!), but the movement, the murmourings, when it came his time to preach. Presence of royalty. Another kool aspect - and i'm sure this was a part of the black preaching style - was when one of the preachers was preaching and they were making a huge point, one or several of the other preachers would get up out of their seat behind him and approach - but never reach - the present preacher, lending great emphesis to what the one preaching was saying. Veddy veddy kool. Jakov, the next day, joked that he'd like to go to Sabinas again when he needed "...what ... nine swaety black men screaming - wait - eleven - no, thirteen? - fifteen black men screaming @ me?" Incredible quote.

It was a special time. Lent for me is a big deal, and I enjoy trying to do it. This Lent has been good - so good that I decided to double my Lent. I'm still observing it, of course continuing my Lenten sacrifice. To mark how special that Good Friday service was, I used that day as the "Ash Wednesday" beginning of my second Lent. I'm going on still.

So, Sabinas for me is a wonderful place. I go to a lot of different masses -used to be addicted to Loyola University's back in the day, and now enjoy St. Xaviers sunday nite mass. Mom shames my by insisting that I should go to St. Christina, since it is my parish - so, I make sure I go there often - but... However, I am disheartened by the fact that Father Mike is presently suspended from St. Sabinas. The Catholic church IN CHICAGO allows pastors only 12 years @ a church before they must go - and Father Mike has been there for what - 30 years? I believe that he has done such a great job and Sabinas would really suffer w.out him, that he should be allowed to stay. I mean, what do you expect me to write? He's earned it, and St. Sabina's a special and Holy place.

And, as a selfish reason for me wantig him to stay is that I've gone to St. Sabina's generally during special times - I have yet to go when he has done the sermon. So - is this another thing I really want to experience, but have waited too long?

****************************************************************************
*= from wikipedia
Cape routine
A trademark feature of Brown's stage shows, usually during the song "Please, Please, Please", involved Brown dropping to his knees while clutching the microphone stand in his hands, prompting the show's MC to come out, drape a cape over Brown's shoulders and escort him off the stage after he had worked himself to exhaustion during his performance. As Brown was escorted off the stage by the MC, Brown's vocal group, The Famous Flames, continued singing the background vocals "Please, please don't go-oh-oh".[47] Brown would then shake off the cape and stagger back to the microphone to perform an encore. Brown's routine was inspired by a similar one used by the professional wrestler Gorgeous George.[45][48]

Brown performs a version of the cape routine over the closing credits of the film Blues Brothers 2000.

sports injury

Attempting - attempting - to show the girls how to slice a ball over an obstruction lent disaster to befall me knee. Hurts - hurts like fuck. This happened in practice, and a kick I have done a trillion and ten times got me this time. It happened on a Monday, and I felt terrible all day. Now, I have had similar pains in the past, and it meant I had to stop laying., But this time .... just went on. Next day we had a game, so it didn't hurt. Wednesday went and all was fine. But on Holy Thursday, in practice, i ws totally into it, encouraging and pushing the girls - and 30m in - all hurt broke loose. Stop did I my participation, and plans were made to go see the doctor the next day. Just horrible.

Luckily I kept Cobra - not glad/glad I wasn't paying $330 /month in vain. But it got me to see my excellent primary care dude, who i like a lot. There a terrible revelation occur ed. Sitting in ac hair, he asked me to straighten my leg out and up. No matter how I tried - didn't move. This almost dissolved me to tears, instantly thinking that there would be hours of surgery and a dissolution of my plans to join a soccer team this summer. After a life of playing sports - now this. Scripts were written to see a specialist - but it took two weeks to get in to see him. Then - because my team had a playoff game that day - another delay of a few days.

In the meantime, each nite featured horrid pains. I'd wake up every 4am almost on a schedule with withering pain in my knee. Just the worst - the first few days it was some of the worst pain i'd ever felt, bar none. It just wouldn't stop. Eventually, I knew to drown it in ibuprofen and ice it many times a day - just to ward off the pain.

Finally got to see the specialist. Another good doctor. He looked @ the xrays, felt the knee all over asked q after q. He told me that it didn't seem torn or any other horrible thing that my mind raced w/ these past three weeks. He said it prob. would get better in about 4 weeks, and nothing permanent was probably done. id I want an MRI? yes, write me the script.

This happened last week, and still the pain won't stop. It's not as bad sometimes, but still bad. Now when I wake up in the middle of the nite, usually I just have to walk for a minute for the pain to stop. Still stupid, I will kick the ball in practice once inawhile - I really shouldn't. I am worried that I won't be able to play in a soccer league this summer - but we have to wait.

Mothers's Lucky Night

WRITTEN BY LAZERS
names edited by Hilts

Trivia night at Salerno’s kicked off with some Hot Stove discussion (though I would prefer some Hot Boots instead), as a member of Auntie Joanne (perhaps Auntie J herself) joined the J&B table for some trade talk disguised as dinner talk (I was pretty certain that “Panko bread crumbs” was code for “Bill”).

J&B represented by: Chemical Man, MG, Mothers's, Hilts and Lazers

The competition: Auntie J, Awesome, The Circle, Logan Squares, Peeps, and ChiSharks

First half: Famous Quotes/Music 85 & 05/Celebrity Look-a-Likes

Benkowski promises there will be a sports category in the 2nd half.

’85- Broken Wings?
’05- Since You Been Gone?
’85- Easy Lover?
’05- Better Days?

“Karl Malone is not lunch meat.”
“Where’s the beef?” (this question coming with the humorous addition of finding out that the person quoted once shared an agent with Benkowski)

Katy Perry looks like this “500 Days of Summer” actress?
Julianne Hough looks like this “Genie in a Bottle”?
Drea de Matteo looks like Ellen’s girlfriend?
Skeet Ulrich looks like this pirate?
Jordin Sparks looks like Ugly Betty?
Sarah Palin looks like this former Saturday Night Live player?
Elijah Wood looks like the Harry Potter guy?
A young Russell Crowe looks like a dude from the O.C.?
Leelee Sobieski looks like a young version of this “Mad About You” actress?
Natalie Portman looks like KK?



Scores at the half: ChiSharks 780 J&B 760 Auntie J 650 Circle 540 Logan 510 Awesome 430 Peeps 320

Second half: NBA Playoffs/Royal Wedding/70s & 90s Music
mid-70s- I’m Your Boogie Man?
How many people were invited to the royal wedding?

Benkowski, coaxing the new team to bring a friend with piercings to help win Ladies Only contests: “They don’t have to know anything. The just have to eat or drink…and reveal.”

Benkowski, to Logan Squares: “Are you related to the Quaker Oats Squares?”

Scores after two halves: Logan 1500, Auntie J 1420 J&B 1340 ChiSharks 1300 Circle 1170 Awesome 790 Peeps 460

Final categories are: 80s TV, two different Celebrity Year of Birth, Reality Shows, Musical Lists from Rolling Stone, Food Network, NBA Steals, MLB Retired Sluggers

Now, today had been quite lucky for Mothers thus far- she won a court decision, she had a primo lemon ice, she made her best Long Distance roll ever. J&B recognizes Mothers's roll and has her pick the number for our lottery slot in the drafting of categories. Mothers selects 11…which matched Benkowski’s number exactly. The roll continues, and J&B selects 80s TV with the first pick (wagering the 3rd place classic).



Food Network (Peeps):Food Network show “Dweezil and Lisa”- what are their last names?
What year did the Food Network debut?
Host of “Behind the Bash”?


Reality TV (Awesome):From “A Model Life”- who is the supermodel?
“Biggest Loser” variations C & F- what do C & F stand for?
“Celebrity Rehab Presents (S.H.)”- what does S.H. stand for?


MLB Retired Sluggers (Circle):In a nutshell, name the 9 MLB players with over 1900 career RBI (and in true Benkowski fashion, there actually are 10)- though note question was chopped into 3 different ones?


NBA Steals (ChiSharks):In a nutshell, name the top 6 all-time in NBA steals- though note question was chopped into 3 different ones?


80s TV (J&B):On “Growing Pains”, who played Ben Seaver?
On “China Beach”, who played Colleen McMurphy?
On “Miami Vice”, who were the 2 stars?


Celebrity Year of Birth-B (Auntie J):Heather Locklear?
Mandy Moore?
Steven Tyler?

Celebrity Year of Birth-A (Logan Squares):Candice Bergen?
Carmen Electra?
Jackie Chan?

Before the home players are sent off with their #2 pencils, one more element to Mothers's ’s roll was her Kentucky Derby pick from Thursday night. As this is being written after the Derby itself, the winner is known to be Animal Kingdom. Is that the horse Mothers's had picked to win????

On my last days as a Beatle

In youngster days, it often felt that as I walked, here also walked as a Beatle. Thought expressed to Dragon, and of course I had to defend meself, and I defended meself thus: As I walked, it often felt 'here walks a Beatle'. There was just that feeling of ..... well, the opening scene in "A Hard Days Nite"? The chase of people? I was there - maybe not in March and April 1964 - but certainly in 1980, 1984, heavily 1987 and 1988, certain periods of the 90's, and 2006 and 2007.

There was nothing like the late Eighties period, especially and however. It wasn't the women, or the art, or the scene, or .... maybe it was all of that and more. But just that feeling of mastering life, and everythng that was went through me, and it was in my fingertips, and..... Just gotta feeling, and looking back ... well, something can't be put into words.

But the 1987 and 1988 period wasn't just the early Beatle days either - there was the whole gamut of the Beatles experience embedded in those 8 months. Predating "Day's Night", for example, was "She Loves you" - no, not a girl thing, but the joyous expression of newfound ... newfound something whose exuberance can only be called "Beatlemania" in myself. Certainly there there was "Help" (solidified @ the top of the game and putting out whatever), and, of course, "I Feel Fine" (yes, a girl thing, and yes I felt fine). Then came, crazily of course, "Tomorrow never knows" and the retreat to the studio of Sgt Peppers. But there was the decline of that period as well. I can totally see the "White Album" being played out, and fissures and splits and bad feelings... Eventually it all fell asunder - but so did the Beatles. A period ended, never to be resurrected in the same way...

...except, from bittle little times to the next, sometimes it returns - like, recently. Again, that feeling of runing down the street, chased by the throngs ..... I had it again.... and now it's gone (but you know it's gonna be/alright). The expression of my Beatlehood bizarrely came in the expression of my wearing my comfortable clothes. Started slow @ first, but when I went out dandy, black wide brimmed wearing, there as the constant interruption of other people, grasping, asking, chasing, wanting, and, finally, interfering... Now, I LOVE being a spectacle.. Why hide it? And walking heavy as I did, there was no way to hide it. And anywhere I went, I knew. Now - put me in West Rogers park, and I am nobody. But in every other -every other neighbourhood in ther city, and ... well, that opening of "Hard Day's" comes to mind...

My favourite was just hanging @ the local having a drink, researching for a movie or trying to write lyrics, or drunkingly writing down ideas for a script. Just lovely. Now, the regulars knew who I was and love me. But, eventually, someone else would come up and inquire "Hey- whats the deal with you? What are you doing? Why do you look like that? Talk to me, please." Kool@ first. Especially kool if it was a lady. Especially kool if it was an agressive lady from out of state who wanted to kiss me again and again (nice- did follow up, up...).

But often times it was just a dude. Kool - I have learned, especially from three of my sometimes elders (Jakov - nee Jamie, The Joker and Big John - and I guess Christ) that to talk to strangers - fellow humans - is one of the hightest callings - but it GOT TO A POINT ..... where it was just one after another - and I had shit to do. There came that time where I couldn't go 20m w/o having to retell what was going on - and it got tiring.

Never did I think that my experience as Baetle would so totally encompass Georges experience - but it did.

And then, there came time to let it go. That Sunday where the filming was finished and I decided to go out comfortably one last time and celebrate as myself - kinda sad. But, the time had come. That nite was my last nite - swell, for now- as a Beatle.

But, you never - I never - know when that feeling will return. We'll see.