On Jellicoes deployment to port instead of starboard

Longtime ago - well, just a few years - one of the girls I liked best was working @ a particular HS's from office. She was a college student just graduating who worked part time. I subbed @ this school and loved to go there so I could....well, breath the same air she did. She was rude, short, abrupt, bitchy - she was beautiful and irresistable. I loved her.

And - believe it or not - over the summer I got hired @ this school. And she worked , still, in the front office. Beautiful, exciting woman. And - after about a week - she startted to go after me, and STRONG. See - I usually am a shy retiring type ( unfortunately, I have to get myself in the mood to be shy and retiring- boy i'm in that mood too much), but back then I was not. I was in a continual good mood - I loved my job as a librarinian. As I am a pretty positive person, I made lots of frenz almost immediately. I was part of the soccer program, and I relished that especially because there was a special feeling in that program. I was full of positives, and the whole school knew it and felt it. Emanated.

And there was this beautiful tite figure pouring attention on me like water from Niagra falls. In the halls. in the office, whenever I was in. And then she startrted to visit the library. A lot. Visit me behind the checkout counter. I didn't mind.

And I never went after her. Well, consciously, @ least. This was because the month before Gf and I had started to date. And, although I never been a 'paragon of virtue' or whatever the phrase is - I wasn't gonna go for the one I'd liked for a year. However, i do wonder what my part was in her extended 'courtship' of me. Obviously, for her to carry it on for the spell that she did - I must have given out some signals, or something. The only bad thing i can remember doing was commentig that she never wore dresses - and the next day she (for the first time all year) showed up in ...... a great black dress. Unique. And I realised.....it was because I mentioned it the day before.

I always fely a little bad. If no Gf? I'd've been dating this girl by the second week of school. No question. I felt the power back then - so full of myself, it was like I was living securityout instead of just writing it - that's how pompous my view of myself was back then. Marshal Ney indeed. But longterm it never would have worked. She was just finishing school, a bit late - she was 24. And the attention she needed - i dunno how long I woulda lasted.

So - why now? Gf and I ran into her over the weekend. I have a feeling Gf knew who whe was and what her role was.... well, not totally waht her role was. We ran into her @ one of Gf's favourite restuaraunt, and only spoke a few words. We didn't talk a lot - just hello, well, yes, I'm @ this school now, and... Very short.

No. I did not wonder what might have been. I had chosen to deploy my fleet to port, and am happy with the results.