03 September, 2009

no kids yet /

Again, such a small school. So small compared to the empire I left. 54 kids, generally 5 a class. In some larger classes 2 the old school (chorus, fex) there were 100 kids or so in the classroom.

But no kids yet. Teacher meetings. By now, I know the excellent ones and the complainers; the eager new teachers (me, one of them) and the teacher assistants who have been there for many years. By today, its apparent there are a lot of teachers who are really good here - its a different sorta school(for behaviour kids) and some of the teachers are evidentily just drawn to working w. these kids. Two are apparent - the principal allowed them to make a purchase from a vendor and it was kool to see them decide what to do and so quick. I shoulda realised, but when you are in yr own sorta world (hs library for 5y) y forget facets of the others. It's kool these two teachers are really good - they'll give me strength. I will be sitting near them to- morrow.

Im in good spirits. The job ahead of me will be supreme. But Im ready prepared for it.

But yes - that's easy to write now - wait till the kids come on Monday. That's actually when it starts.




Again, its gonna be a brand new experiece.

02 September, 2009

first day of school / lucky / again

Back in, on planet Mars now especially (that one time crankfacedeadboyrobandI)
this different place, such a different atmosphere, differnt people. I was in a school of close to 4000 w. 240 tachers - this school has like 54 kids and maybe 15-7 teachers. Mars, man. Mars.
But there's more. Fully rejected by my last school - fucks - there is the shockingly undenialable fact that when I look down on my feet, there are again - again! - the leather cavalry boots of Ney. Distant objects? I peer through the telescope of Nelson-again. For the fifth time - the fifth fucking time - I have been officered w. the charge of 'leading a lot of men in a desperate battle'. The four previous times (really three - for some reason I count my experiences not being hired in the old school as a failure akin to my three crazy Grand Failures) I have foundred - twice my fault, twice life unkind. And now, like its all really been made new. All the terrible decsisons and habits and results and efforts - all that - is once again washed away, and I have a -what was that vanilla sky line? - a chance to ..... wait, what was that other line from magnolias ..... oh yes, use the regret. So, anewed, bornagain (what was that one line from that one loyola literay magazine from 1992), and etc.

What Napoleon asked of new officers brought before him was "Is he Lucky?", which was taken as "If he gets a break, will he take advantage of it?" This is the fourth true full 'break' I have gotten - so far from where I had pplanned to be - but for fucks sake, it's goddamn Marshal Neys boots that I once again wear ...again.


bill

01 September, 2009

blackshaft/ best

i c. guarentee s. never knew. it w. o. s.

Cubbage

A Police Officers, a Doctor, and a Grammer School Librarians walked into the Cubs game Monday nite and .....

the fall of the barbican

End of the summer, end of part of the housing complex here - our garage, extant on the property when the house was built in 1991, was finally torn down on Monday. Needed to be - listing to the north, holed and wasp-homed, broken floor that flooded or froze depending on season, inoperative large door and rotting and unable to lock side door, overrun by dust and dirt and time. TheStrasser hasn't been moored inside it more than, say, twice - and only on extended overseas missions by me. Not only physically needed - Mom saw it as a nice way to bring up the property of the house.

I agreed - time passed and i's actually exciting that we'll have anew garage. But, that ramshackle shack still teemed w. irreplaceable memories. 18 years it's been here - no wonder why even Q came up in my rambling thoughts these bunkerdays for the garage. Madonna. Especially Afrika Korps - months after she broke my heart, she got a slow leak in her tyre and she asked me to change it after class. It was cold out, so we went into the garage - I was happy in my deeply sad way because i was actually able to do it; and she gave me a heartfelt hug of thanks after. sad pathetic me.

But mainly it reminded me of Dad. He only lived two years in this house - but it was he who set most stuff up. He decided, for example, to not build a new garage with the house and instead rehab the old one; he painted it (I painted the garage in about 2003 - it's last paint job) and reshingled the roof. He stored lots of bits and pieces of tools and boards and fences and horses and nails and etc ... He also set up the benches, storage areas, ladder areas, etc... And I will tell you the truth - unlike my Dad, I am not a very handy man. Sure, I can shingle a roof and build a bookcase - but the many posts and boards and angles and tools and etc that Dad left behind in the garage when he died were largely left untouched since the last time he touched them. So, for me, it was a hard to shift away what he had placed so many years before.

I had a major job to clear away a lot of the shit that was in the garage. Of course, dad had tonnes of stuff: heavy tools, pick axes, hatchets, saws, hammers, screws, nails, locks, ladders, braces, hoses, horses, etc etc etc... lotsa weight.

But even more so, there was the worst of my packratism exposed to the elements finally. I've saved so much shit over the years - literally, every Soccer America from 1984 (50 issues a year), Rolling Stones, books from my grammer school years that were put out there to save the crowding in the house, university notes from four different institutions of higher learning, Sports Illustrateds celebrating the Super Bears, the '83 Sox, and the 1980 USA Hockey Team, garden fencing, etc etc etc ...

Jacob had crashed over Saturday nite was enlisted in degarbaging the garage Sunday morning w. my bro.in.law. We effectively cleared the place in a few hours - throwing out lots, but not all - or even most. Collapsed, we did, relentlessly, but eventually did it all except for my magazines - exhaustion finally opened me up tot h possibility that I could sacrifice them. but the next morning, before the demolition crew finally came on, I scurried about trying to salvage my Soccer America collection - and the Rolling Stones long enough to confiscate the covers for Neice.1 . Done.

And then the wreckers came on. Jacob crashed over for a second nite, and w. Mom we watched the five man crew descend upon the garage and break it apart bit by bit until there was only a clay-ey patch of dirt where there had been a building. GONE. All gone. The yard - now exposed to the alley and people walking by - was a junkyard looking place sloppied w. the disgorged contents hurriedly rushed into the yard before the wrecker came. Worried a bit that someone mite swipe Dads axe or whatever.

They now need to pour in a new floor and start the new building. It's sad to lose a 'place' - memories - but still the new garage is looked forward to. Can't wait. Really. The new building will be clean, less cluttered, more orderly, and not justa place to store the Strasser. I imagine I will use it as a sorta hangout place - I'ts pretty common for people to open up the big door in the summer and watch the game, drink a breww, and dradle some cacklers, c'mon. I believe this place - The Zepplin Hanger - will also fill this role.

And - a small little snippet of redemption, looking back, but untimately looking forward. In the height of Afrika korps girl period, I somehow managed to lose my krypotimite lock's key on the street near Empty Bottle on a concert nite. I had the habit of locking my bike in the garage, so there the bike remained - 7 years - until Sunday. when my neighbour tried to break it w. a giant lock cutter - failed - but that lead to a determined broinlaw who returned w. a 'circulersaw'. This was the tick. We stuck it next to the lock, applied justa bit of pressure - and 5m of application - it SNAPPED! Stunner, especially after the period of fallow it follwed. So - soon - I can finally use my bike to good regard again.

29 August, 2009

The beatles are most good, sports

Sorry for all the videos lately - and the general Stalingrad of it all - but this is irrepressible. Love this song deeply, but spot check reveals - A BEATE SVERION OF THIS SONG. Tell me, fuckers, there is no God.

rolph harris's original, so beautiful:






Beatles and rolf: So beautiful.



pop music!

1969 in time and space and on

Enjoyable long talk w/ mom on family history. Always thought we had somewhat of a normal family @ large, but there are some differences. Very spread out is my parents generation - well, generally America, Ireland, and England, and sometimes Scotland and Wales depending on the fishing and the kids college choices. Not so unnormal. But there are some chacets(sic).

My Dad was in family of nine kids(mom 10). Two sisters - one died in childbirth, and the widower married the next sister - she also was to die in childbirth (Ireland, man). (one of these sisters, btw, is the ancestor of cousin MAC who some know). the widower died after his wife, and the four kids were shipped to America to be raised here. However, the two aunts of mine in America to whom they were sent had ...... um harsh reputations as parents. Two of the four kids (one died at like four, the other drank himself to death, if i am rite) hated her and ended up moving into an apartment for awhile. This ended (Why?) after a bit, and eventually one just ran away from it all (tracked down to Georgia, of all places, years later- now a total member of the family. he drives up to Chicago to see people a lot, so I see him often). I remember both of these aunts - one I knew quite well and totally loved me (being the baby of all babies has its goods and bads), but the other I have hazy memories of someone who was fairly scary.

A warming thing Ive heard before was the cross family friendships. My family, when they came over, quickly bought a house and brought over the others when they could. Bit by bit they dribbled over - some on my Dads side moved back. But they all lived in the same 'hood, centered around maybe 87th and Racine. So, it's cool to hear the stories of MAC's dad Martin (Dad side) and uncles Mike and Tom (mom's) being frenz. Macs dad was also Dads Best Man, and it seems that Dad and Martin were pretty close.

One thing. Uncle Mike now lives in Boston and is a total fan of their teams. however, I cant imagine that he was anything but a Sox fan first - basically, the grand proportion of the family are Sox fans, and im guessing that the Sox's historical identity as the "Irish Catholic working class" major league team was still an issue @ that point in history Although Boston has an irish identity to it a bit, the Red Sox fans are pure 'white people'. Next time I see him I will bring this up.

Also, deeply depressing. My brother died of leukemia when he was six - it's 90% curable these days. I have no real memories of him - just the feeling, popping up through my life whenever i see brothers interact (I especially got this when I lived w/ Jackson and bro and being w. them so much) of how much I miss him. He died in November. My Moms Mom died suddenly. A four year old cousin (one of the four kids who were brought over from Ireland)died of a brain tumour 2m later. My Moms Mom died (20 August), and the next November (2 Nov.), my cousin Martin died in his sleep. Terrible tying times for the family. I remember none of these people w. a single caveat: i remember combing my hair when little in the wet style of Martin - and here, its only that I remember when I was doing it that I knew it was Martins style - not that I remember Martin now.

Mom told me a story of when the little girl - my cousin - died - on top of losing their brother 2m before - she called up St. Rita grammer and asked them to be easy on my sisters because they were so upset @ the dual losses. The gratifying part of the story which made both of us smile and weep was that the school held the girls in their prayers.

Nothing in life is ..... whatever. But, wonders on what I'd be like w. an older brother to beat the hell out of me and tuffen me up for life. My closest cousin is of course MAC - a close friend - but wonders on what would be the relationship w. the fouryearold cousin who died. Martin seemed cool as hell - so kool I copied his cut. What was he like? Dunno.

Like the Africans w. their deep voices who we played pickup soccer w. back in the 1990's on Belmont and Lake Shore drive (Africans, Mexicans, East Asians, Southeast Asians, Arabs, crackers, etc etc etc - it was a pitch in Chicago, but it was like walking in London and hearing every accent that ever existed in a typical 30m walk). When a guy was on the ground injured, they would clap twice or thrice and just say "Football. Football." - as in, 'we're playing a game and we all know this happens. Let's keep playing!'. Comme life. I die. You die. He/she it dies. We all know this. And, of course, the grand answer is "Football. Football."

27 August, 2009

24 August, 2009

genetic freak

Sorry for the offkilter presentation of the snap -stuidassblogger - but what a fucking strange bird thats taken up residence in the feeding systems of my yard. Ive looked through bird books and i cant find anything near. My guess is that its some sorta genetic freak. hopefully it isnt selected out of existence.


17 August, 2009